"Look!" I said to my husband. "The melting snow and ice looks like a giant slushee"
He ran to the window and said "Icee!"
I had a dream where I ate a giant marshmallow, the next morning my pillow was gone
Did anyone else’s parents tell you this one?
My friend spent all his money buying a business that makes giant snowballs
I don’t know.. it seems like he is rolling dice
For my girlfriends birthday today, I brought her a giant helium balloon
It didn’t go down very well
My neighbour died after falling into a giant vat of coffee, but thankfully didn’t suffer.
My Father will be releasing a new brand of giant breath mints later this year. He said it will be named after his children!
I once saw a cloud of mist form before my eyes, then take the form of a giant tent peg...
I dared to ask my wife why she is ordering a giant tub of Whiteout from Amazon.
Very proud of my five year old daughter. My wife screamed with a sound of absolute terror while in the shower earlier. I find out that she saw a few hairs together, thought it was a giant bug, and temporarily lost her mind. My daughter asked why she screamed...
...so I told her that her mom saw a few hairs fall out of her head and freaked out.
My daughter responds, completely deadpan, "mom had rabbits falling out of her head?"
She's going to be a great dad one day.
Edit: skipped a word
My wife said to my thirteen year old daughter, “They covered it with a giant black condom.”
That is it. That is the joke. Welcome to Asheville, NC.
https://www.bpr.org/post/vance-monument-fully-shrouded-lee-marker-removed
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my dad carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
My friend gets a real good workout at his giant bivalve mollusc farm...
Family group chat asking my Dad about the giant bottle of Mustard he bought
A pump? No, I just refill a smaller squeeze bottle to fit in the fridge.. but I relish all the comments you guys made. - Bryan (59)
Just been to the doctors about my fear of giants
I’ve been diagnosed with Fe Fi Phobia
"This giant carrot made my day but it made my coworker’s hole weak."
My wife and I had this giant argument about which vowel is the most useful.
I told my kids that girls would often "go out on a limb" for Andre the Giant.
Then I showed them that famous photo of the four ladies sitting on his arms outstretched. (The sub doesn't allow photos posted)
My new nightclub for giants finally opened. It took over 7 years of planning and we only had one rule...
My son, who just started learning about the solar system: “Do you know if Jupiter’s a gas giant?”
Me: “I know one thing. Uranus is definitely a gas giant.”
Got my girlfriend with this over the weekend....As a car with giant subwoofers drove by blaring music and shaking the apartment building, I asked "you know how you buy one of those cars at the dealership?"
You just ask for the bass-line model.
The other day someone just would not shut up about how I need to accept the giant robot masters into my heart.
Damn right-wing Evangelionists.
My friend invented a giant diaper...
I didn't believe him when he said he was going to change the world
They're re-doing the sewage system around my work with a giant boring machine...
Finally convinced my wife to let me hang a giant clock on the wall.
(after a giant plate of Haluski (a Czech cabbage dish)) girlfriend- "my rule tonight, you CANNOT fart in my car..."
Me- I guess you'll just have to drop me off at the gas station then.
Sitting at the top of the giant slide at a carnival with my fiancée.
Yell embarrassingly loudly, "HELLO FROM THE OTHER SLIIIIIIIIIIDE!"
Hit my family while watching jack the giant slayer...
While watching said movie; one of the little people actors popped up on screen spurring a mid movie discussion.
Mom : wasn't he from willow?
Dad: nawh I think he died a few years ago.
Mom: he died young I guess. He was what, 18 in willow?
Me: yeah it's scientifically proven that they live shorter lives.
Then my dad let out the proudest smile I ever saw
Clarification: they're all fine. Warwick davis is alive and well. He is now 44 years old. And I'm 24
My brother said this about AT&T park (SF Giants baseball field)
Brother: Why is AT&T park the coldest park?
Me: Why?
Brother: Because in every seat there's a Giant fan.
Watching Ted Ligety's gold medal-winning Men's Giant Slalom performance just now, and my dad suddenly asks, "I hope they show some footage of Ted Ligety leaving Sochi."
"Why?"
"Because I'd like to see Ligety split!"
I dared to ask my wife why she’s buying a giant tub of Whiteout.
I dared to ask my wife why she’s buying a giant tub of Whiteout.
I regret asking my wife why she’s buying a giant tub of whiteout from the store.
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