Did you know? Mortal Kombat's theme song is based on Scandinavian church music

It’s a Finnish hymn!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingkeren
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2022
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True story: Taking my daughter to her music lesson the other day and she says: "Daddy I think I'd like to start another instrument. We have that old violin laying around and I'd like to learn to play. Nothing serious just casually to learn a song now and then.

To which I replied..."So your intention is just to fiddle with it?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feelin_Dead
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2022
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Post punk is the dumbest type of music because you cannot write an angry song about sending a letter
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LittleSparrow24
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2022
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My 6 year old daughter was listening to music with me and came up with this one: What is a bananas favorite Tom Petty song?

You Dont Know How It Peels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MemphisMayhem
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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The music streaming app on my phone said it could read my mind and guess my favorite Tina Turner song based on things I love.

I thought to myself "What's love got to do with it?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Belscnickle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2021
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I recently changed my alarm clock music to a Justin Bieber song.

Now I wake up 5 minutes earlier every day so that I don’t have to listen to it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
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What is every dad’s least favorite country music song?

Every Light In The House (IS ON!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatsagoodpint
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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What would happen if someone did a song about black and white music.

It would be a mixtape.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gamer-Plays
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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The Indiana Jones theme song is indy music.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/likenessaltered
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2015
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Classic rock is a little too heavy for me
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2023
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Only an 80's kid would get this.

https://preview.redd.it/3vi5qhppxyda1.png?width=526&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=27d6e0f4b3f24f32cbd66c04db42b701b147231e

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whiskeyknitting
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2023
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A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. β€œI’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. β€œSorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. β€œYou’re out of your head.”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. β€œWe don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. β€œWhy not?” one yogurt asks. β€œWe’re cultured.”

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, β€œWhat are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, β€œIt’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, β€œWhat’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, β€œArrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, β€œI don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Armed robbersβ€”some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugasum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
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Poor Bonnie Tyler
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeg3141
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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80s rock

I have been trying to give my kids a well rounded musical background. In the car with my daughter today listening to the radio and whitesnake came on. I said hey you know this song, it's whitesnake, sing it! She replied "no want to sing dada" So I said... Here I go again on my own

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brettwasbtd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2022
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I made a song about a burrito…

actually it was more of a wrap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shitty_pillow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2022
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I working on "Warcraft - The Musical". The songs write themselves.
  • My horde will go on
  • Alliance sleeps tonight
  • A horde day's night
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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Did you know U2 has the best lawyer in the entire music industry? And the best part is, they’ve never spent a dime on him.

He works Pro Bono.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baltinerdist
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2022
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a good romance starts with fun...

A bad romance starts with rarara a a a.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/If_Cows_Fly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2022
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What kind of music do lawn care specialists listen to?

Motown

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ejpiller
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2022
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I was wondering why music was coming from my printer...

apparently the paper was jamming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheepery
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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Pig, Horse, and Cow meet in college.

Pig plays the drums, Horse sings, and Cow plays the guitar. They’re all exceptionally talented, and form a band, supplementing other spots from around the city. They play local dives, some free shows in the park, and they begin to get some traction. Pig suggests they record an album, and they send demos all over. One label is willing to give them a shot, and they open for a B List name on their tour. During the tour, they amass millions of fans, and by the time they record their first major studio album, they have a following so big that 3 of their songs top the charts. They soon find themselves headlining their own tour, as well as every major music festival.

The three friends are over the moon with their success. Never in their wildest dreams did they believe they’d find themselves rubbing shoulders with music greats. It doesn’t come without its downsides, though. Pig has turned to coke and pills to help him get through the long nights. Horse loves the party side of his new life, and his band mates often hide bottles from him when they’re not dragging him, drunk, to his bed. Cow is sad. Watching his friends fall apart, he misses being home and when things were more simple. Keeping his friends in line and covering for them is taking a toll on his own health.

After a year and a half on the road, the band is in the studio attempting to record their second album. Horse is fast asleep, drooling on the mixing board, hungover from the night before. Pig hasn’t even shown up. Cow has a breakdown, and shakes Horse awake. β€œI’m done. I can’t do this anymore.” Horse waves him off, and falls back asleep. Cow packs up his guitar and buys a one-way ticket home.

A few days later, Pig is all over the news. He’s in jail for possession. Cow watches the news and shakes his head. He knew it was a sinking ship. Horse hears the news from their manager, who is also calling to tell him that he quit. He wakes up to the phone call, and texts Cow, pleading to have a conversation. Radio silence. Horse stumbles out of bed and heads for his favorite pub. He can’t believe that he’s down two friends, that the band has split up, and his life is in shambles. He sits at the bar. β€œI’ll have my usual,” he says. The bartender leans over to hand Horse a whiskey. β€œHey buddy, why the long face?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itMetheBigT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2022
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β€œDad, whose music did you listen to when growing up?”

Dad: Led Zeppelin.

Son: Who?

Dad: Yes. They were good too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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I have started carrying a piece of stone with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving.

It’s my jingle bell rock.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Bert and Ernie had worked together as morning drivetime radio hosts for 20 years.

They'd traded jokes, played pop music, and generally made people's lives a touch brighter as they trundled to work.

Now, though, there was silence on the air. Ernie silently reread the fax message from the Department of Defense. As licensed broadcasters they were legally obligated to alert the public, to tell them the nukes were flying and that in a few minutes all the world's troubles would be over. What, though, was the point of that? To torture people with the knowledge of something they couldn't change?

Their eyes met and a decision was reached. Bert put on their most requested song, a sugary top 40 tune while Ernie produced a bottle of bourbon from under the desk. As their producer banged on the locked studio door the colleagues toasted the end of a long career.

Bert, always the consummate professional, turned away from the window as the first explosion split the distant horizon. He straightened his tie, tucked in his shirt, and brushed his hair back. He would meet his fiery death with dignity.

He turned to Ernie and said in a quiet, resigned voice, "How do I look, Ernie?"

Ernie walked slowly over to his friend. He looked into Bert's face and saw the closeness they shared, the strength of their relationship, forged over the years. He took a deep breath and spoke quietly:

"With your eyes, Bert."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2021
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There was a knight whose job it was to guard other knights while they sleep

But as anyone that has worked the night shift knows it can be a long and boring affair. No great threats to defend against. So this knight decided to improve himself, night after night he would bring books to read while he stood guard. Learning languages, math, philosophy. The smarter he gets the more he realizes that he will likely leave the world and be forgotten. In his depression he turns to music, learning instrument after instrument, style after style. Using his knowledge of math to create beautiful patterns and moving songs. He learns that it is they rhythm more than anything that draws people to a song and sets his nights to finding the rhythm that will be universally loved. Now, hundreds of years after his death, people the world over still remember Sir Cadian's Rhythm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirDianthus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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Doctor: Your brain seems to have deleted all information about 80s music!

Me: Yikes! What is The Cure?

Doctor: Oh my God. It is worse than I thought!

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2018
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For years I told my daughter she was 1/2 Human & 1/2 Mermaid ... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HUMANPHILOSOPHER
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2017
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Hello...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TakaComics
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2016
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A guy goes to his school dance...

...He could hear from the music and the roar of all the people, it sounded like it was going to be a lot of fun so he got in line to buy a ticket. Once inside he ran into Sally, whom he'd had a massive crush on since grade 3, seven long years ago. They danced up a storm all night, and he felt like tonight was going to "end well". 10 or 15 songs later they had worked up quite a thirst. They meandered over to the drink table and asked the guy in front of them if this was the line to get a drink, and he replied "That's right, this is the punchline".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanadianGuy116
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2013
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[Request] Tubas and Classic Rock

Every year for the past few years, I’ve written music for a tuba ensemble for a summer band camp. Last year’s music was titled β€œTubaChristmas in July,” which had β€œHallelujah” by Pentatonix, β€œCarol of the Bells,” β€œYou’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch,” and β€œHave Yourself a Merry TubaChristmas.” This year I’m about 90% sure we’re doing rock/classic rock. So far I have β€œBohemian Rhapsody” by Queen, β€œPaint It, Black” by The Rolling Stones, β€œLivin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi, β€œDon’t Stop Believin’” by Journey, and some fifth song I haven’t chosen yet (BTW I’m open to song ideas).

I need a pun that mixes Tuba with Rock or with Classic Rock. Similar to how TubaChristmas in July doesn’t include song names, but you know it’s Christmas music on tubas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Leo_1110
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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I was sitting in traffic this morning when I noticed the guy in the car next to me was playing an electric guitar.

On the other side was someone doing the same, and behind me was a person on a full drum kit. In the car in front was a guy with a mic screaming out some kind of song. None of the cars were moving, they were all just rocking out playing music. It was at that moment that I realised I was stuck in the middle of a traffic jam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chimpocalypse
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2017
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Dad-joked by a toilet

For all of my life, my brain has played a soundtrack. At all times, in all places, I hear music going through my head, from the moment I awaken in the morning until I go to sleep at night. I can only shut it off by listening to other music, watching a movie, etc. but it soon starts up again once the outside source of stimulus is removed.

Yesterday I was travelling. When I visited the restroom prior to boarding my flight, the the music in my head suddenly switched tracks from "I've Been Everywhere Man" (that got really old after the first hour. Oy!) to "Africa" by Toto. "That's odd", I thought to myself, "the music in my head usually doesn't switch tracks unless something has changed around me." I finished my business, cleaned up, stood up, and turned around to flush.

Then I saw it. There, emblazoned on the porcelain, was the word "TOTO". The manufacturer of the toilet. "Nice job, brain, funny, hah-hah," I thought to myself.

The song in my head came to an abrupt halt. Silence, for just one moment. Blessed silence. Rare for me. Then I realized. My brain was giving me time to digest the previous joke. Waiting for me to think I'd arrived at the punch line. Pausing for a beat before it delivered the next one. "Africa" started over again, telling me exactly why the DJ deciding songs in my head had picked this exact moment, this exquisite situation, this exact set of circumstances to deliver the internal Dad Joke of the year:

"Doodoo doo-doo doodoo do dooooooooo...."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/txgsync
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2016
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Just got dad joked by my 7 year old son.

Driving in the car, he wants fast music, I change from rock to pop and start slightly pumping the brakes to the beat of the song.

"Wow, nice brake dancing!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kutNpaste
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2014
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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I had my own Dad joke today

My friends and I just entered the ACL (Austin City Limits) festival, which it's basically a HUGE music festival. While we're walking, a stage is playing a song by the Beatles to which my girlfriend jokingly says, "Oh, I didn't know the Beatles were playing today!" I reply with, "It's part of their Lazarus Project!" Then a lady in front of us turns and says, "Niiiiice."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anzou
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2013
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The song lyric comes on the radio, "I will lift you up," while in the car with my teenager.

I told her that the singer is a weight lifter. The eye roll was accompanied by a smirk.

The music video for the song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47dtFZ8CFo8

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nettius2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2017
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did you know the mortal Kombat title song is based on Scandinavian church music?

It's a Finnish hymn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KryptWa1ker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2022
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I was confused when my printer started playing music…

...until I realized the paper was jamming.

πŸ‘︎ 145
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwedishCreature
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2022
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What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?

A sweatband

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pyrrhios
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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A farmer was out in his orchard one day trying to figure out why his apples weren’t growing.

Just then a blind man appeared on a nearby path. The man asked the farmer what he was doing, and the farmer told him about his problem. The farmer told the man how he had tried everything, from singing to the trees, to shaking them, to blowing on them. The blind man thought for a minute and then instructed the farmer to try listening to the trees, because their song was not being heard. The farmer was skeptical, but figured he may as well try. He put his ear up to one of the small apples, and could barely hear the faintest song playing. He turned to ask the blind man how to hear it better but the man had disappeared.

Later that day the man told his wife, Andrea, all about what had happened. The wife was skeptical as well, but she told her husband to talk to their friend Jim the beet farmer, because he always had a healthy crop. The farmer obliged his wife and went and told Jim about his experience. Jim smiled, and he motioned for the farmer to come with him. The two walked to the middle of a field full of red beets. In the very center they found two golden beets. Jim told his friend to take the golden beets, and bury them into the soil near his orchard.

Night was approaching, but the farmer agreed to do what he was told. He thanked his friend and took the two beets to the center of his orchard, while his wife Andrea looked on. As he pushed them into the ground he started to hear the song of the trees. The song was a little louder, but still very quiet.

The farmer dug up the beets and began moving them to other spots. He soon noticed that as he buried them closer to his wife, the louder the song became and the apples actually started growing. The farmer, excited by his discover, ran over to his wife and stuck the beets into the soil at her feet. The apple orchard sung loudly and came to life with new growth. The farmer had the best crop he had ever had that year.

Moral of the story: If you want to listen to apple music, try plugging in your beets by β€˜Dre.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spirit_desire
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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Bert and Ernie were daytime radio hosts for Twenty years.

Bert and Ernie worked together as daytime radio hosts for over twenty years. They'd traded jokes, played pop music and generally made peoples lives a touch brighter as they trundled to their workplace.

Now though, there was a silence on the air. Ernie silently reread the fax from civil defense. As licensed broadcasters, they were legally obligated to alert the public, to tell them that several nuclear missile launches had occured, and that in a few minutes all the world's troubles would be over. But what was the point in that? To torture people with the knowledge of something they couldn't change?

Ernie looked up at Bert. Their eyes met and a decision was reached. Bert put on their most requested song, a sugary top 40 tune, while Ernie produced a bottle of bourbon from under the desk. As their producer banged on the locked studio coor, the colleagues toasted the end of a long career.

Bert. always the consummate professional, turned away as the first explosion split the horizon. He straightened his tie, tucked in his shirt and brushed his hair back. He would meat his fiery death with dignity.

He turned to Ernie and said in a quiet, resigned voice, "How do I look, Ernie?"

Ernie walked slowly over to his friend. He hugged his companion, released him and studied Bert's face. He saw the closeness they shared, all the long years tying them together, and the strength of their relationship. He took a deep breath, with tears streaming down his cheeks. He spoke in a quiet, broken tone:

"With your eyes, Bert."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSoupSlapper
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2021
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Introducing Old Music to Young Kids

My husband and I were playing classic rock on YouTube one day, trying to introduce our boys to music we loved growing up. A song by The Doors comes on and my husband says "I love The Doors!" To which our 11yo replies, "Yeah, especially the sliding glass ones."

We almost didn't catch it. He brings it up about once a month now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lady_Teio
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2021
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What do you call a singing computer?

A Dell

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trick2Gesus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2016
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So I was at a restaurant with my Dad...

And there was a small band walking around and playing music for tables. After they finished playing a song near our table my dad asks them, "Do you know how to play Far Far Away?" they said no, sorry, so my dad says "Oh, well its way over there." and points to the opposite side of the restaurant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TJFordZ
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2013
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My dad got me with this one last night.

So last night I was sitting doing my homework and listening to music. The song that was on was the sound of silence cover by disturbed. I was just writing something down when my dad came in and I asked me what I was listening to. So I said "I'm listening to the sound of silence". And then he says "wow you're dumb I can obviously hear something". I the groaned and moaned for about 5 minutes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wee_littlegaffer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2016
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