Mum And Daughter Puns

Soo.. a little background: my mother was about to visit for a walk outside the next day when this dialogue happened; also: my native language is german and i don't know if this very common in english as well, but my daughter calls my mother <stgm_at's-mother-first-name>-gramma. for the sake of this post let's assume her name is elizabeth.

so here goes...

(i enter the living room; wife & daughter sitting on the couch)

daughter: (in a moderately excited voice) hey dad, you know who's going to visit us tomorrow?

me: (acting as if i didn't know) don't know, who?

daughter: elizabeth-gramma.

me: huh, really, but do you know who is also going to visit us?

(daughter looks at me even more excited, there was defenitely a twinkle in her eye; wife looks at me sceptical)

daughter: don't know, who?

me: my mum.

(cue rolling eyes and groan from my wife and laughter from my daughter)

My 8 year old came home from school and on the car trip home

Daughter: mum I bet I can make you say black

Wife: oh really?

Daughter: what color is that car

Wife: Blue?

Daughter: And that tree?

Wife: Brown

Daughter: told you I could make you say brown

Wife: no you said black!

I have never been more proud

Was cutting branches outside and my 3 year old daughter was putting them in a box. I gave her a bit of tree and told her to go inside and point it at her mum and say " this is a stick up!" hurhurhur

Background: It was overcast that day and I'm an only child.

Mum: I hope the sun comes out today.

Dad: There is no son, only daughter.

Mum: ...

I was silently dying in the other room.

...we stopped off by a store that had lots of fall flowers and pumpkins, including various sizes of mums in different colors. My daughter wanted a couple of the biggest yellow mums to put on either side of our front door, which were crazy expensive. I told her, "I'm a little tight on money right now, so let's keep our purchases to a mini-mum."