My favourite teacher at school was Mrs Turtle...
Strange name, but she tortoise well .
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︎ Feb 18 2021
My neighbor, Mr. Coffee, came stumbling into the police station this morning.
Apparently, he had been mugged.
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︎ Feb 16 2021
As much as they tried, the ladies couldn't get Mr. Peanut out onto the dance floor.
He was a bit of a wall nut.
π︎ 13
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︎ Feb 19 2021
Mr V.
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Who's bigger ? Mr Bigger, Mrs Bigger or their baby ?
Their baby. He's a little Bigger.
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︎ Mar 01 2021
Mr Tickle was very anxious to get married although...
He was having trouble convincing his girlfriend Tess to take his last name.
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 22 2021
Mrs Cloutfire.
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 16 2021
Why was Mr.Bee sad?
π︎ 15
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︎ Jan 25 2021
Judge: "So, Mr Robot. Your neighbour accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you plead?"
The defendant who is a robot: "Guilty as charged"
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︎ Feb 11 2021
Do you know Mr. Mushroom
π︎ 17
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︎ Jan 25 2021
Mr. Ed
Man, I was worried when Mr. Ed had to be hospitalized. But now I've heard he's back home and his condition is stable.
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Mrs Hamill was annoyed when her son and I paid her a surprise visit.
She was afraid I'd leave a Mark.
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 17 2021
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, βDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?β In my best bear voice, I replied...
βNo thanks, Iβm stuffed!"
π︎ 80
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︎ Dec 26 2020
I put the punchline to this joke on Mr.Jackman's head.
If you don't get it, joke's on Hugh.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Who does Mr. Salt go to when he has back pain?
π︎ 18
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︎ Dec 25 2020
Mr. Bean said it best
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 28 2020
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club"
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︎ Dec 20 2020
What does mrs Ant call Mr ant?
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 15 2021
What did Mr. Willy, a man who served his country, say to Mr. Rubber?
.
.
.
"Cover me, I'm going in!"
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︎ Jan 14 2021
Why does Mrs. Claus hate Santa?
He has too many ho ho hos
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 23 2020
Mr. Macaroni to his son:
Tell your sister it's pasta bed time.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Late last night Mr Peanut was walking home through a bad neighborhood
I have been informed he was a-salted.
π︎ 14
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︎ Nov 24 2020
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?
Looks like reindeer.
π︎ 21
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︎ Dec 26 2020
I really like that actress in βHouse of Cards,β βManhattanβ and βThe Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.β
Iβm a Rachel Brosnafan.
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Why Santa tell Mrs. Claus to carry an umbrella?
π︎ 18
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︎ Dec 22 2020
Made this one up myself. Hope you like! Did you know there is a Mr Potatohead knock off?
π︎ 108
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︎ Sep 11 2020
My coworkers gave me the nickname Mr. Compromise.
It wasnβt my first choice, but Iβm okay with it.
π︎ 25
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︎ Nov 15 2020
I'm fine with Mr. but Ms doesn't have a period
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 20 2020
A Sippy Cup is called Mr. Sippy, what would you call his wife?
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 05 2020
Have you met Mr. Mushroom?
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 04 2020
I imagine when Microsoft's co-founder Mr.Gates gets a suit tailored, they must fit him perfectly.
They have to fit the Bill.
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 14 2020
When the Mrs. could tell I was in the mood, she immediately let me know that tonight wasnβt going to happen.
She said: βNot tonight. Period.β
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︎ Oct 16 2020
Trump and Pence were preparing to leave the Whitehouse for a big rally. When the helicopter arrived, Trump wasn't ready yet, so Pence asked: "Do you want me to wait for you Mr. President?" ...
"No Mike, you fly on ahead and I'll catch up later".
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 15 2020
There once was a family, the Biggerβs. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and a son, baby Bigger. Which one was the largest?
The son, because he was a little Bigger.
π︎ 28
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︎ Sep 08 2020
Mr Yeast
π︎ 31
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︎ Jul 11 2020
I met mr. T and I was very disappointed!
π︎ 25
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︎ Aug 28 2020
Mr. and Mrs. Melon told me the story of when they went to vegas to get married.
At the alter the priest said...
You cantaloupe.
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 12 2020
Santa got Coronavirus this year so Mrs Claus had to take over toy production, orders, and present deliveries.
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 01 2020
What Mr. Crabs wears under his pants?
π︎ 9
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︎ Aug 31 2020
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, βDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?β In my best bear voice, I replied...
βNo thanks, Iβm stuffed!"
π︎ 10k
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︎ Apr 20 2020
Santa to Mrs. Claus: do you hear that noise?
Mrs Claus: It's only rain dear.
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 24 2020
What did Santa say to Mrs Clause when he saw a thunderstorm?
βLooks like rain dearβ
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 11 2020
My colleagues at work gave me the nickname βMr. Compromiseβ.
It wasnβt my first choice, but Iβm ok with it.
π︎ 513
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︎ Jul 21 2020
My nickname at work is Mr. Compromise.
It wasnβt my first choice, but Iβm okay with it.
π︎ 277
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︎ Apr 19 2020
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