Monkey Jokes Puns

Because it was dead.

In my biology class not too long ago, we covered a mini unit on invasive species. One of my classmates was giving a presentation on an invasive monkey species, explaining how it is very aggressive in nature and has been known to attack people and other animals in small groups. After hearing this, I couldn't help but raise my hand and pose the question: "So you could say these monkeys use guerrilla warfare?". Almost the entire class groaned simultaneously. It was glorious.

I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"

Because he conditions it.

straightaway I knew he was a keeper

Which - to me - sounded a bit obvious. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

They were Prime mates.

Attire

" "Pop," goes the weasel.

That shit was bananas.

And I gotta say that's true because I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey

EDIT: Thanks kind stranger for the gold!!

Because they're very good at it.

EDIT: If your looking for animal jokes, read the comments section.

He said, no it doesn't.

Because it's dead.

My son made himself a banana sandwich.

Son: "This is what monkeys eat."

I thought I'd mess with him a bit on this "fact", and throw some dad humour at him.

Me: "What?! Monkeys don't eat sandwiches! How do they even bake the bread?"

Son: "With a g'rilla."

I think this kid is going places. I was completely outdone.

I call it a sighsmograph.

Dad hurt his wrist and had to go to the hospital where he talked to a doctor.

>Dad: When this heals will I be able to play the piano?

>Doctor: Yes, You'll be fine in a few days.

>Dad: Perfect, I've always wanted to be able to play an instrument.

You will be mist.

Three roommates, a human, a monkey and a dog are watching Netflix when the human and monkey start laughing. The dog rolls his eyes and says “That joke is getting old.” The monkey then says “Hey, do you want to press play next time?” The human almost chokes on his soda as he starts laughing hysterically. The dog gets up and goes to his room. As he walks off, he turns and with a single tear forming, and his voice quivering he blurts out “You both know I only have paws!”

Based on a half-baked "hope you never split" joke, my husband decided to buy this blank monkey-themed card to go along with a wedding present, and now I've been tasked with writing the content. Any suggestions?

I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey

"Pop" Goes the weasel