They’re demoting me from food server to host starting Monday.

I can’t wait.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Why did the owners of the Indian food restaurant decide to be closed on Mondays?

They were tired of working naan stop and needed to tikka break.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClimbingCactus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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My dad just posted an epic dadjoke on Facebook

I'm thinking of opening a shopping center which specializes in only the stores you can never seem to find when you want them. For instance:

  • New Navy
  • Half Foods
  • Over Armor
  • Paper Clips
  • 49 Cent Store
  • Seniors R Us (really old stuff like antiques)
  • Tom & Harry's Sporting Goods
  • Pier 99 Exports
  • Yankee Light Bulb
  • O.M.G. Monday's
  • Due Pizza (It's Italian, not Spanish)
  • Rhode Island Closets (they are very small)
  • Open Space (think about it)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlahBlahNyborg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2015
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Dad hit me with another cheesy joke just now.

I'm making enchiladas for my work tomorrow but I forgot to buy baby jack cheese for my cheese enchiladas. I've been calling stores to ask them ahead if they have any, but no store in my neighborhood has it.

I told my dad about my frustrations as I was calling Food 4 Less, and my dad said, "Hey if they don't have it, tell them - tell 'em, 'Well you guys don't have JACK!'"

I then put my hands on my face began groaning as he closed out with, "I perform every Monday through Thursday!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sinabimo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2014
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Dadjoked my fiancee while eating leftovers

I was eating some left over casserole from earlier in the week.

>Me: "You want me to warm you up some?"

>Her: "No, I dont trust it. I'm waiting to see if you get sick before I eat it." (she got food poisoning from some bad chicken a few weeks ago)

>Me: "Fair choice, I don't work till monday so I have some time to work through it if it's bad."

>Her: "Yeah, I thought eating it might be a little hairy."

>Me: "There wasnt any hair growing yet, I checked"

>Her: "..."

"The look" she gave me was more satisfying than I expected.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/albinobluesheep
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2014
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We were at a German restaurant...

They had a sign saying the specials of each day of the week. Monday was "Two wurst platter for $8.99"

My stepdad pointed it out and said "Man, nine bucks for the worst food, that doesn't really seem like a good deal. I wonder which one is worst."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepobv
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2014
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