I wanted to search a website about the common ancestor between man and monkeys, but I did not find it.

That was a missing link.

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📅︎ Apr 13 2022
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Did you hear they found new evidence of the missing link?

Hopefully it's not just another fossil arm.

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👤︎ u/veektohr
📅︎ Nov 27 2012
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My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
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👤︎ u/ruchi565
📅︎ Oct 15 2019
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Hitty?
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👤︎ u/MrCloud-YT
📅︎ Feb 03 2019
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Hobbes was a great dad!

http://imgur.com/a/Uzqz6

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📅︎ Jul 21 2016
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Grocery store dadjoke on the girlfriend...

We were walking down the dairy aisle when...

Gf: "Did I pass the butter?"

Me: "I don't see why you would, I didn't ask for it..."

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👤︎ u/TapTapBam
📅︎ Apr 15 2014
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What do you call a hidden Legend of Zelda character?

A Missing Link

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📅︎ Oct 15 2020
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At my job as a paleontologist, I was searching for the thigh bone of a Neanderthal.

I thought I had found it, but it was a fossil arm. Then upon searching the site further, I found a petrified sausage. It was the missing link.

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📅︎ Dec 29 2018
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Warlord assassination attempt gone terribly wrong.

A navy SEAL sniper was dispatched from a submarine on the coast of Africa with the mission of traveling inland to quietly take out a warlord. His only link to his superiors on the submarine was cellular messaging device. He arrived and had to lay in cover for days. A pride of lions eventually settled around him, making him very nervous. Circumstances then necessitated immediate action so the commander sent the SEAL messages ordering him to clear the area before the strike. Being in the midst of the pride the soldier couldn't move to check his phone. He then perished in the attack.

However, this is not the first person to miss the subtext because they couldn't read between the lions.

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👤︎ u/possferatu
📅︎ Jul 05 2018
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The greatest dad joke I've ever made

So a year or so back, my family is eating dinner at a restaurant that serves bottled soda. I'm drinking a Coke. Now, this is back in the day when the "Share a Coke" campaign was a huge deal, so mine said "Share a Coke with Juan."

After a few moments, my sister looks at me and says, "LinkRar, you need to share that with Juan." And without missing a beat, I quickly reply,

"But (sister name here), I have no JUAN to share it with."

My sister did not like it very much.

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👤︎ u/LinkRar
📅︎ Feb 17 2018
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My dad hit me with this one today.

I'd been talking with my dad yesterday about the new MacBook, generally making fun of its shortcomings. This morning I got an email from him linking me to this article. Having seen it earlier, I told him "I saw the article this morning! I will continue to not buy anything Apple."

His response: "Yeah, I miss Royal Galas, though."

sigh

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📅︎ Oct 31 2016
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