Mishnaic Hebrew Puns

Hello internet, I am a student as a university where biblical Hebrew is taught but modern Hebrew isn't (surprising ikr). Given that modern Hebrew is a relatively new language that was only resurrected in the 20th Century, will a person who learnt liturgical Hebrew have a decent enough command to understand spoken/written modern Hebrew? Thanks!

P.S. Are most scientific/technical terms in modern Hebrew derived from languages like German/Russian/English because the main reason I wish to learn and understand Hebrew is to potentially study at Technion or participate in Israel's startup community (though I'd expect English or Russian would be good enough)

5:43 But how is it that they come to you for judgement while they have the Torah, in which is the judgement of Allah? Then they turn away, [even] after that; but those are not [in fact] believers.

5:44 Indeed, We sent down the Torah, in which was guidance and light. The prophets who submitted [to Allah] judged by it for the Jews, as did the rabbis and scholars by that with which they were entrusted of the Scripture of Allah, and they were witnesses thereto. So do not fear the people but fear Me, and do not exchange My verses for a small price. And whoever does not judge by what Allah has revealed - then it is those who are the disbelievers.

So this verse got me thinking about what the Quran means by Torah. And through a little bit of googling I came across quite a bit of vocabulary for instance:

Torah can refer to the Five Books of Moses

it can also refer to the entirety of the Tanakh (acronym for Torah, Naviim, ketuvim)

and finally it can refer to the entirety of Judaic tradition including rabbinical literature referred to as "The oral torah" (wikipedia cites Jacob Neusner The Emergence of Judaism)

Now the oral torah could be broken down into two. The Talmud and the Midrash which is an interpretation of the talmud.

Wikipedia quote on the talmud: "It is written in Mishnaic Hebrew and Jewish Babylonian Aramaic and contains the teachings and opinions of thousands of rabbis (dating from before the Common Era through to the fifth century) on a variety of subjects, including halakha, Jewish ethics, philosophy, customs, history, and folklore, and many other topics. The Talmud is the basis for all codes of Jewish law and is widely quoted in rabbinic literature. "

The thing that confounds me presently is the Quran in multiple occasions affirms stories and narratives from the oral torah or the talmud which is not found in the Tanakh. (cain and abel with the crow, the angels questioning adams creation, Moses not being suckled by any but his mother, probably mor

video in question

EDIT: Well, it seems they just privated the video so I'll give them at least credit for taking down this badlinguistics instead of letting it keep spreading misinformation. I'll try to add more information in here to make it clear what their reconstructions were and why they're wrong.

R4: This is just... a bunch of random vowels more often than not and random application of late Classical Hebrew features such as the spirantization of /t/ to [θ] (including in places where that spirantization should not take place) while also not including the spirantization for other consonants such as /b/ to [v] for... some reason? It also seems to take features and pronounciations from Modern Hebrew, Late Classical Hebrew and Early Biblical Hebrew all at the same time which is... safe to say, not accurate. I'll try to list as many errors as I can reasonably get through with roughly when they are in the video and I'll try not to repeat points too much if I already covered the same point before since a lot of errors here repeat (random /a/ vowels, random uses of /ɣ/, inconsistent spirantization, no consonant lengthening, ignoring the Canaanite shift, forgetting that ha- demends consonant gemination for most consonants, etc).

• 5 seconds in: /ɣabariθ/ 'Hebrew' - the /a/ vowel is there randomally as forms such /'ʕeber/ (Tiberean Hebrew: 'ʕɛβɛr) imply this is a qatl/qitl noun originally in PS and thus, our way to know the original vowel quality is via suffixation. Other forms of this noun with a suffix imply it's qitl and thus */ʕibr/ originally such as [ʕiβri:] 'Hebrew' (a person, not the language). The second /a/ wouldn't be there even if the first was /a/ as it derives from a qatl/qitl noun and reverts back to those forms with suffixation and thus, even if its /ʕabr/ originally, it should be /ʕabri:t/. I have no clue why /ɣ/ is used here. It did exist in Early Biblical Hebrew, but this is not Early Biblical Hebrew based on the random spirantization (the final [θ] instead of /t/) which is a Later feature (roughly, Roman era feature of Hebrew), after /ɣ/ merged into /ʔ/ (roughly, around 200BC when the Septuagint still showed some signs of it, but afterwards, there are no more signs of that consonant in name transcriptions). Afterwards, /ha-ʃapa barura/ 'the clear language'. If this is early Biblical Hebrew like the /ɣ/ implies, it should be /ɬapa/. I'll give them credit that some dialects might have merged /ɬ

Do your worst!

I know this is a bit outside the scope of this subreddit, but I find no subreddit suited for such a question.

I am currently studying Biblical Hebrew, and can now read prose passages from the Tanakh with relative ease (with poetry passages, it depends on the passage). I was wondering if an adequate knowledge of Biblical Hebrew also allows someone to read passages from Mishnaic Hebrew. sefaria.org has a very good dictionary accompaining the texts, to vocabulary shouldn't be a problem.

If the grammar of Mishnaic Hebrew is indeed different then how difficult is to adjuct your knowledge of Biblical Hebrew in order to read the Mishnah?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

They’re on standbi

>>>“READING THE LAW (7:73b-8:18)
 

>“With this chapter, suddenly Ezra, not Nehemiah, is the principal figure and it is doubtful whether Nehemiah plays any role (cf. [compare with] vs. [verse] 9). Obviously it is part of the Ezra narrative and should be linked in sequence with Ezra 9 (cf. Torrey…1909…). The present disorder of text has been explained as a disruption of the Chronicler’s final work, occurring perhaps near the end of the third century B.C. when a copyist, who regarded Neh. [Nehemiah] 7:70 [69] -73 [72] as a simple variant of Ezra 2:68-70, having copied Ezra 8:36, transferred the section which he considered the true sequel of Neh. 7 to the book of Nehemiah. It was then necessary to transpose Neh. 9:1-10:39 from Ezra also to follow the reading of the law in Neh. 8 (Torrey…). Less mechanically it can be explained that the late editor, with a bias against foreigners, placed the mixed marriage reform as Ezra’s first act and reserved the popular acceptance of the law until the city was organized and secure enough to guarantee the continuance of the postexilic community devoted to the law (cf. Rudolph, op. cit. [see cite] …).
 

>Because constructions and vocabulary toward which the Chronicler is partial are unquestionably found in the chapter, there is considerable difference of opinion regarding the historicity of the events that it relates. Pfeiffer… noting that Neh. 8-10, or parts of it, are generally attributed to Ezra’s memoirs, admits that ‘we gain the impression that the Chronicler himself is writing freely or at least restating in his own words the contents of a source… the historicity of any part of any part of Neh. 8-10, when critically examined, must remain as doubtful as the chronology.’ … the assembly instigated by the people must have been just such a popular movement as Ezra had been planning and preparing for from the moment of his arrival in Jerusalem.” (Bowman, 1954, pp. III 731-32)
 

-7:72. [73. in versions] … And arrived [ויגע, VahYeeGah`] the new [moon] the seventh,

and sons of YeeSRah-’ayL ["Contended God", Israel] were in their cities.
 

>“The versions differ in their distribution of this text between ch. [chapter] 7 and ch. 8.” (Bowman, 1954, p. III 730)
 

Chapter Eight
 

-1. And gathered, all the people, as man one, unto the road that is before Gate the Waters,

and they said to `ehZRah’ [“Help”, Ez

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

It really does, I swear!

I won't be doing that today!

When I got home, they were still there.

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Bob

Oops typo corrected. Wali Ijbar sorry.

When reading up on minor marriage and children's rights in Islam several works compare Jewish and Muslim traditions. It seems legitimate to have a look at how they compare.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriageable_age#Classical_Antiquity_2 and additional erusin/nissuin from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_wedding

>In Rabbinic Judaism, males cannot consent to marriage until they reach the age of 13 years and a day and have undergone puberty and females cannot consent to marriage until they reach the age of 12 years and a day and have undergone puberty. Males and females are considered minors until the age of twenty. After twenty, males are not considered adults if they show signs of impotence. If males show no signs of puberty or do show impotence, they automatically become adults by age 35 and can marry.[276][277]
>
>Marriage involved a double ceremony, which included the formal betrothal and wedding rites.[278]
>
>[Technically, the Jewish wedding process has two distinct stages:[1] kiddushin (sanctification or dedication, also called erusin, betrothal in Hebrew) and nissuin (marriage), when the couple start their life together. The first stage prohibits the woman to all other men, requiring a get (religious divorce) to dissolve, and the final stage permits the couple to each other. The ceremony that accomplishes nissuin is known as chuppah.[2]]
>
>The minimum age for marriage was 13 years old for males and 12 years old for females but formal betrothal could take place before that and often did. Talmud advises males to get married at 18 years old or between 16 years old and 24 years old.[279]
>
>A ketannah (literally meaning "little [one]") was any girl between the age of 3 years and that of 12 years plus one day;[280] she was subject to her father's authority, and he could arrange a marriage for her without her agreement.[280] However, after reaching the age of maturity, she would have to agree to the marriage to be considered as married.

we can also add https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriageable_age#Classical_Antiquity_2

>A large age gap between spouses, in either direction, is advised against as unwise.[274] A younger woman

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

NEHEMIAH
 
Chapter Three
 

>The sections [הקטעים, HahQeTah'eeYM] in wall [בחומה, BeHOMaH] the designated [המיועדים, HahMeYOo'ahDeeYM] to restoration [לשיקום, LeSheeYQOoM]
 

>>>“THE NORTH WALL (3:1-5)” (Bowman, 1954, p. III 683)
 

-1. And rose, ’ehL-YahSheeYB [“God Will Return”, Eliashib] the priest the great, and his brethren, the priests,

and they built [את, ’ehTh [indicator of direct object; no English equivalent]] Gate the Sheep,

they [המה, HayMaH] sanctified it,

and stood its doors,

and, until Tower the Hundred, sanctified it,

until Tower HahNahN-’ayL [“Grace [of] God”, Hananeel].
 

>“Eliashib the high priest (cf. [compare with] 12:10-11) is important as a contemporary of Nehemiah, in demonstrating the chronological priority of Nehemiah (cf. Ezra 10:6…) … The circuit of the walls begins (vs. [verse] 1) and ends (vs. 32) with the Sheep Gate, located close to the northeastern corner of the city. There was the market (vss. [verses] 31-32) where animals could be bought for sacrifices (cf. John 5:2). Between the Sheep Gate and the Fish Gate (vs. 3) lay the ‘fortress of the temple’ (cf. 2:8) guarding the relatively weak northern approach to the city (cf. 2:8; 7:2). Part of the fortress was the Tower of the Hundred… it probably has military significance as the headquarters of the centurion in charge of his hundred… The Tower of Hananel (cf. 12:39…) apparently stood near the northwest corner of the temple area, at the most northerly point of the city, ‘where the Mishneh [“Second”] Wall [Zeph. [Zephaniah] 1:10] crossed the crest of the ridge which was later called Bezetha’ (Simons…). The fortress was later the site of the Maccabean Baris (Josephus…), and the Herodian Antonia (Josephus…), at the northwestern corner of the present Haram area [the esplanade of the Temple] (Mitchell…). Josephus… indicates that Herod’s fortress also had a tower at each of its ends.
 

>Built (cf. vss. 2, 13-15), used almost always of work on the gates, implies considerable construction. Since it is only in the north wall that both the walls and gates are built, it is apparent that the greatest damage was suffered at that vulnerable place. Elsewhere the word ‘repaired’ is used.” (Bowman, 1954, p. III 683)
 

-2. And upon his hand built men of Jericho,

and

"That's what they're fighting about."

free