You see it all over social media and the news, headlines that read, “There are still good people in this world. She was bullied for her disability but her classmates voted her for prom queen.” or “Star basketball players stands up for his bullied classmate”. Sure it seems sweet at first but when I think about it all I can see is someone doing something “nice” for their own personal gain. When these stories make the news, who usually gets the most publicity? Who gets the interviews and good press? Why, the people who did the “good deed” of course. Most of the time it seems like they don’t give a damn about the person who they did something “nice” for, instead it’s about “Look what WE did! WE are so nice! WE are so good hearted!” It’s all about making themselves feel better when they go to sleep at night, it’s almost never about the person it should be about. It’s not sweet and heartwarming, it’s almost sort of heartbreaking because I’ve seen instances where people will do “nice things” for someone because they take pity on the person and it makes them look good in the eyes of others, but go right back to treating that same person like shit as soon as nobody else is paying attention. It was never about being nice and genuine, it was all a big ego boost. If you want to do something nice do it when nobody’s looking and don’t accept any congratulations for your good deed.
ETA: like i said in a reply to a commenter, Sure its a “nice thing to do” and in some cases it makes the disabled person feel good and it’s a nice gesture all around, BUT disabled people aren’t mindless angel pets. They have brains and lots of them don’t like to feel pitied or patronized. Especially when that pity is superficial and the people who give her those pity votes will go right back to ignoring or bullying the disabled person. I’m not saying “Don’t ever be nice because people could misconstrue your motives” I am saying, however, that you should be mindful of your actions and be careful not to make people feel patronized and pitied. Also if you’re gonna do something nice for someone make sure you’re being genuine be consistent with your actions towards someone. Don’t be nice one day and then cruel the next. I know that all good deeds are a little selfish and that’s not my main issue here. The motive isn’t the issue either, it’s the fact that people see others who happen to have a disability as nothing more than a sad little animal to feel sorry for. Instead of mistreating someone, doi
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