Milan Martić Puns

During the years of the Croatian War of Independence (1991-1995), 45 journalists were killed on the territory of Yugoslavia. The first victims of the armed conflict were employees of the USSR State Television and Radio Broadcasting Company Viktor Nogin and Gennady Kurinnoy. 30 years ago, on September 1, 1991, their car was shot down near the village of Hrvatska Kostajnica on the Belgrade-Zagreb highway. Their bodies were never found, but in March 2017, despite their status as missing, President of Russia Vladimir Putin awarded them the Order of Courage posthumously. It was only in 2021 that the case got off the ground, but there are still more questions than answers.

On a formal level, the war on the territory of the former Socialist Republic of Croatia began only in the summer of 1991, after on June 25, following Slovenia, it declared independence from the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia (SFRY). But the first conflicts between the Croatian authorities and local Serbs, of whom more than 600 thousand lived there, began in the summer of 1990. The language was the source of contention.

The fact is that the Croatian Democratic Union (CDU) party, which won the first multi-party elections in May 1990, led by Franjo Tudjman, immediately renamed the Serbo-Croatian language into Croatian, changed its grammar, and banned the use of Cyrillic on the territory of the republic. Any mention of events from the history of Serbia, as well as Serbian writers and poets, were excluded from the school curriculum.

In addition, public discrimination against Serbs began in Croatia. Thus, one of the leaders of the CDU, later President of Croatia, Stipe Mesic, said that the local Serbs own as much land as they can carry on the soles of their shoes. And Franjo Tudjman called the Independent State of Croatia created by Hitler, where more than a million Serbs were killed by local Ustashe fascists in 1941-1945, the result of "thousand-year aspirations of the Croatian people."

Discrimination was also formal: all Serbs working in the power structures, primarily militsiyamen, were forced to sign a humiliating “letter of loyalty” (nothing like this was required from Croats and representatives of other nationalities). As a result, in May 1990, parallel power structures began to form in Serb-populated areas of Croatia. In early July 1990, the militsiya of the city of Knin, led by Milan Martic, refused to obey the Ministry of the Interior of Croatia, after which militsiya units

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

It was about a weak back.

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.