My daughter today: "Dad, if you transitioned to a woman, I wouldn't be able to see you"
Me: "Why?"
Daughter: "Because you would be trans-parent"
She got me good. I actually GOL (Groaned Out Loud)
π︎ 143
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︎ Jun 28 2021
What's Santa's favorite metal band?
π︎ 41
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︎ Jul 03 2021
My Chemistry Teacher keeps telling me that sulphuric acid should never be left in a metal beaker..
..it's an oxidant waiting to happen.
π︎ 51
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︎ Jun 14 2021
Who was the greatest heavy metal astronomer?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 08 2021
A hypnotist once convinced me that I was a soft malleable metal with the atomic number of 82.
π︎ 25
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︎ Jun 06 2021
We got a new dog yesterday. He was a rescue and we're so glad to make him a part of our family. 'I think the transition is going well.'
'But your mother thinks it's been ruff.'
π︎ 9
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︎ May 16 2021
What do you call Cyclops if he transitioned?
An eX-Man
Hope I don't get banned but I approved the joke with my friends.
π︎ 7
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︎ May 26 2021
Two cats are on a metal roof. Which one slides off first?
The one with the lowest ΞΌ
π︎ 23
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︎ Apr 28 2021
What makes music heavy metal?
π︎ 13
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︎ May 24 2021
Adjective for metal is metallic
But not so for iron which is ironic
π︎ 174
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︎ Feb 21 2021
How did the orchestra attract heavy metal fans?
π︎ 112
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︎ Mar 23 2021
I listen to every type of music except heavy metal
Because heavy metals are toxic.
(I -22f- have created this joke when i was 15, I was waiting for an opportunity to disgust people with it. So here you go reddit lol)
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︎ Dec 15 2020
I had a bunch of metal pipes inside of me after my lung transplant.
Guess they got the wrong organ donor.
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 25 2021
Did you hear about the metal shipment that was late?
π︎ 6
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︎ Apr 09 2021
What's the difference between a vacation and metal earplugs?
One is o-cation-al and the other is quiet off tin.
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 13 2021
I used to get small shocks every time I touched metal objects, but I don't anymore.
π︎ 16
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︎ Mar 07 2021
Italica
π︎ 4k
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︎ Mar 26 2021
I like to listen to music as I fall asleep, so I tuned the radio to the Metal station
I've always been a heavy sleeper.
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 05 2021
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
Our first single is "Bread or Alive."
π︎ 74
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
My first insulation job
I wasn't great but I did asbestos I could.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 04 2020
Why do fairies burn when in contact with metal?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
What happens when you eat aluminum?
π︎ 154
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︎ Jun 12 2021
An electrician came home very late when night and his wife said
"Wire you insulate"
And he replied "Watts it to you? I'm Ohm ain't I?"
This is the first Dad joke I remember hearing, and it came from my older brother.
(We're not grading for quality here, right?)
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︎ Apr 08 2021
Metal Fan
π︎ 23
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︎ Dec 12 2020
Iβve got a device consisting of a circular canopy of pink fish on a folding metal frame supported by a central rod, used as protection against rain.
Now I have salmonella.
(Iβm sorry, itβs a fishy joke)
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 21 2021
What kind of net catches metal?
π︎ 23
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
WARNING! Do not eat aluminium.
π︎ 55
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︎ Jun 18 2021
I joined to pieces of metal today without nuts and bolts or welding
The whole process was riveting
π︎ 13
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︎ Jan 06 2021
In Yosemite, I once found a chunk of metal that was more dense in the center of it.
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 26 2021
My favorite part of the morning is the sound of pouring coffee into my metal thermos
Itβs the little tings in life, ya know?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 23 2021
Why did the metal like the magnet?
Because it was attractive
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 25 2021
2 metal workers got married....
It was a beautiful welding.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
i am deaf on both ears after working at the metal factory
I guess heavy metal is not good for my ears
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
A huge metal fan
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Nov 25 2019
These two wind turbines are standing in a field and one asks the other βwhat type of music do you like?β
The other one says βIβm a huge metal fanβ
π︎ 27
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︎ Jun 10 2021
Why kind of music does a corpse play?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 16 2021
Two giant wind turbines are standing in a field,the first one turns around and asks:"what i your favourite type of music?"
The second turbine said:"I'm a giant metal fan"
π︎ 12
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︎ Jun 29 2021
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
π︎ 170
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︎ Dec 25 2020
What's Santa's favourite metal band?
π︎ 61
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︎ Dec 13 2020
The corresponding adjective for "metal" is "metallic"
But that's not the case for "iron", which is ironic.
π︎ 52
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
What happens when you eat aluminum ?
π︎ 69
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︎ Jun 20 2021
Do not eat aluminumβ¦
β¦ Or you might just sheet metal.
π︎ 10
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︎ Jun 18 2021
Studying Chemistry at the moment, I just learned that Sulphuric acid should never be left in a metal beaker..
..It's an oxidant waiting to happen.
π︎ 49
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︎ Aug 19 2020
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm
One asks, βWhatβs your favorite kind of music?β The other says, βIβm a big metal fan.β
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 05 2021
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