Meir Zarchi Puns

I mostly watched movies I hadn't seen before, so there aren't a lot of classics here, but there were some pleasant surprises. My ratings reflect how much I personally enjoyed them, so even a poorly-made movie could get a good score if it entertained me (hence, Blood Feast gets a better score than Savini's Night of the Living Dead-- I won't apologize).

Major spoilers for Night of the Living Dead (original and remake) and I Spit On Your Grave ahead. Minor spoilers for Wrong Turn 3 & 4.

Wrong Turn -- Rob Schmidt, 2003

An uncommonly suspenseful slasher with surprisingly good writing and acting. It doesn’t do anything new, but it does everything well. Good

House -- Nobuhiko Ôbayashi, 1977

Still one of the craziest movies I have ever seen. Despite all the absolutely zany child-nightmare stuff, I found the low-framerate long take -- in which the girls attempt to phone for help -- surprisingly creepy. Great

Hostel: Part II -- Eli Roth, 2007

I don’t enjoy watching scenes of torture. So why do I like the Hostel films? Partly because their victims get revenge at the end, unlike the Saw films, which glorify the sadistic antagonist as some sort of evil genius. The villains in Hostel: Part II aren’t cool; they’re pathetic. And that’s what makes them interesting. The dynamic between the two main killers, one of whom is hesitant to go through with the murders, is captivating and surprising.

Also surprising are two of the main character deaths, which, despite the film’s exploitative reputation, occur off-screen. But the deaths we do see are suitably horrific: the Bathory blood bath scene is a gruesomely gothic murder setpiece that’s still hard for me to watch. Good

Horror Express -- Eugenio Martín, 1972

This one is pretty dull. I liked the creature costume, and the Rasputin-esque Russian villain. Bad

Vampyr -- Carl Theodor Dreyer, 1932

It doesn’t have the iconic vampire design of Nosferatu, but the last death scene is more disturbing than anything in Murnau’s film. Good

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari -- Robert Wiene, 1920

This movie is worth watching for the aesthetic alone. The plot is a bit silly-- why would people line up to see a supposed sleepwalker?-- but it’s also somewhat beside the point. Good

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead -- Declan O’Brien, 2009

Outside of one particularly nasty death involving barbed wire and a tow truck, Wrong Turn 3 is pretty boring. The film he

2021: #217

Total reviewed for this sub: #432

Not on TSPDT or TSZDT master list; Director: Meir Zarchi; Writer: Meir Zarchi; Watched November 23rd as part of the Ronin Flix LE Blu-ray 3-film release IMDB

148 minutes. The worst movie I have seen in a long time, possibly ever.

This is not part of the reboot trilogy that spanned most of the 2010s. This is a “direct” sequel to the original film and stars Camille Keaton, Jennifer Hills, as a mom who has a mid-20s daughter, Christy. The basic premise is that Jennifer Hills went on to become a famous author and her daughter is the world’s most successful fashion model. Meanwhile, back in the small town where the film movie went down, the relatives of the four men Jennifer Hills killed hate Ms. Hills and devise a plan to capture her and rape her again before they kill her and spit on her grave.

Off to a rough start already, but in addition to this storyline being an uninteresting retread of the original. it’s also 2 ½ hours long. I just saw Dune in theaters and it was also 2 ½ hours. Earlier in the week I saw The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp … also 2 ½ hours. There is a right way to make a movie stretch to that runtime, and Deja Vu is the dictionary definition for what not to do. Director Zarchi directed a 1978 film that has become a classic within a specific fanbase. It seems like this moderate success went straight to his head and he forced the world to watch the full version of his movie without any creative discussions.

The crazy thing is there is actually a very watchable story if an hour is removed. And wow is there an hour to cut here. One example, a 10-minute … at least … scene of Jennifer and Christy sitting down for a meal and painstakingly providing exposition and backstory on why we should care about them. Brutal way to start the film. Almost every scene in the film plays like the unedited footage actually, as if Zarchi exists in some weird twisted Patreon world and releases his unfiltered thoughts to the world.

And I have to mention the unbelievably lazy and racist writing of the kidnappers and attackers. Ouch, they are a terrible combination of outdated loud stereotypes and just terrible writing. It’s as if Zarchi got a group of untalented people in a room and told them they were going to prepare for the movie by playing an improv game. He then gave them the role of “loud Hillbilly stereotype” and decided to just use the rec

TSZDT 260, highest ranking 243 in 2019; TSPDT 4141, highest ranking 3660 in 2020; Director: Meir Zarchi; Writer: Meir Zarchi; Watched November 9th as part of the Ronin Flix LE Blu-ray 3-film release IMDB

101 minutes. I know this is a beloved movie, and I can understand why, but rewatching this recently I was reminded that this is the epitome of men writing women.

For those who don’t know, the first 40ish minutes are Camille Keaton getting drug through the mud, knocked around, insulted and raped by a group of horny troublemakers. She takes 15ish minutes to collect herself, begin to heal, and realize that she is strong enough to take justice into her own hands. So the last 40-minutes are Ms. Keaton flipping from victim to assassin and knocking down her attacker one by one.

Cool premise, and Camille Keaton was believable as someone who flipped and was not going to rest without revenge. She carried this movie and was both vulnerable and meek as well as fierce and relentless depending on what the scenes called for. I cheered on her transformation and her ability to use the power of seduction to flip the tables on her attackers.

And I know this film was incredibly influential and had a huge VHS rental market, but I felt uncomfortable watching it because it had such a mean spirit. I know it’s a fine line with rape / revenge stories in general, and maybe the genre is just not for me, but I didn’t enjoy sitting through 40-minutes of a young woman being traumatized and abused, even if she rose heroic from the ashes of her emotional wellbeing.

So, I don’t know, watch it if you’re curious or want to see an influential exploitation film that created a mini-genre. I would definitely avoid if you’re triggered by sexual assault or humiliation of any kind as this would be a horrible experience.

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

It really does, I swear!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Bob

Just to clarify, 12345678

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

"That's what they're fighting about."

free

Because his Visa didn’t work.

Because the audience only responds in a low ha

When I got home, they were still there.