Why is T called an island?

Because it's in the middle of water.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/duffmanohyeah_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2021
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George Washington looks stoned in this picture
πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kate_th
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
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I was named after George Washington.

He was named in 1732 and I was named in 1992.

πŸ‘︎ 307
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kcompto2
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
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Why does Medusa live alone on her island?

Because people were tired of her taking them for granite.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheeponmeth_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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A pirate crew is stuck on an island

Long time no sea

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theGabro
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2021
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I'm not saying my brother is stupid, but he just asked me this: "If you were stuck on a desert island alone..."

"...would you eat another person to survive?"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
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A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..

.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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Hundreds of thousands of pigeons and doves have gathered in Washington D.C.

Authorities are concerned they are staging a coo.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
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Why is Greta Thornburg like an island off the east African coast?

She’s Mad at gas cars.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ktbrown1
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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The Chef at our local Italian Restaurant has died...

He pasta away

We cannoli do so much to help

His legacy will become a pizza history

Here today, gone tomato

Sending olive our prayers to the family

His wife, cheese still not over it

No more penne tration for her

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iNeedHealing24_7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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Did you hear that a rock formation called Darwin's Arch collapsed in the Galapagos Islands?

Guess you could call that the work of Natural Selection!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
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So, if you put Arlington County in Virginia together with Washington, D.C.,

Could that area be called AC/DC?

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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Where does George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleevies

-Thanks to Stuff to blow your mind podcast

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tracyrose10
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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What could a furniture store call examples of seats for kitchen islands or bars?

Stool samples!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndySkibba
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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4th of July dad joke

The difference between George Washington and a duck? One has his face on a bill and the other has a bill on his face.

πŸ‘︎ 137
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zu-den-sternen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2021
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An American wants to enter a nightclub

Together with some friends from abroad, an Afghan, an Albanian, and Algerian, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argintine, an Armenian, and Austrailian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leemhuis
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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What do you call a polar bear in the jungle?

Lost

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jesuscide
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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They tortured George Washington after he died.

They had him drawn and quartered.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimmybuffetkol
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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When I lived in Washington, DC, I formed a rock band with a friend who lived with severe obsessive-compulsive disorder.

OC/DC, we called ourselves.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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No historian has ever found the remainder of the cherry tree George Washington chopped down

They’re stumped.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJ_Degen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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If the island of Maui gets too much more rain...

It'll become the Isn'tland of Maui.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bparx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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There is a HUGE snowstorm today in Washington, DC

There are thousands of snowflakes gathering in DC, crying because they lost the election and they can't con their way to victory.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/40ozT0Freedom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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Washington steak
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Washpedantic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Did y’all know there no canary’s in the Canary Islands? The Virgin Islands are the same!

There aren’t any canary’s there either.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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When the moon hits your eye, Like a big pizza pie, That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.

When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!

In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.

Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.

A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.

When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeAbout
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Hell used to be an island

but then Helsinki

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alanpearce
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the Pirate's Island have to quarantine?

Because their 'Arrr' number was too high...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanAhJustSay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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What’s with all the talk about horny bugs in Washington D.C.?

I keep hearing about the capital insect erection.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ukimeouch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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What do you call the first Australian native to ever have a six pack

The Ab Original.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vanillathunda1989
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What's happening in Washington right now needs a name

I propose we call it the "Chicken Coup"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scamperly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
LPT: If you are trying to stay in a hotel that’s completely booked, just tell the receptionist that your name is β€œimprovement”.

Because there’s always room for improvement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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Nauru is the most obese country in the world, followed by the Cook Islands.

Does that mean that the Cook Islands have a fat chance of catching up?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bananarang1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Communists around the world watched gleefully as the Washington riots unfolded.

Karl Marx was right when he wrote Das Capitol.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/praisethelort
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Who is the most open-minded president?

John F. Kennedy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AvGeek1245
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
In 30 min, the Christmas Island and Samoa will welcome the new year.

For them, hindsight is 2020

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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Was your waist the 16th president of the United States?

...cause those hips don’t lie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/connolnp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? And the same thing applies to the Virgin Islands;

There are no canaries there either.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Emotional island
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πŸ‘€︎ u/starswirls_planet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I would tell you a dad joke

But Maury Povich determined that I am not the father.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eurotrashcc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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Whats the name of a crime series filmed on a sunny japanese island?

Kawaii five-o

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcarrot9
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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Apple Pie is a ridiculous $5 a slice in the U.S., but only $1 in Jamaica, the Bahamas, & the Virgin Islands

Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What island in Thailand has the most sick people?

Koh Vinineteen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aderkaperk1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Hmmmmmmmmm, I finally had Shawarma yesterday.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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You come to the end of the road. North of you is the red house, west is the green house, east is the blue house. Where is the white house?

Washington DC.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cowslapperz
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is the letter T like an island?

Because they are both in the middle of waTer

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Passmeabeernow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Welcome to Rhode Island

... You are now leaving Rhode Island

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AprilTowers
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What could a furniture store call examples of seats for kitchen islands or bars?

Stool Samples.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndySkibba
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report

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