Marshall Napier Puns

Phil

Sudden Lee

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

I am currently in the hospital. I had a back operation yesterday. The surgical nurse came in my room and started asking questions about my back. She asked me if I had any falls during the last year. I responded just one. It was after summer.

She laughed and said in 20 years of doing this she never was told that joke.

Of course I’m referring to the player that’s shown once the line is dropped in the song. Shooting Star obviously has the star power, but There You Are has a little more consistency.

Team "And there you are"
2021- Cade Cunningham (Oklahoma State)
2019- Zion Williamson (Duke)
2018- Miles Bridges (Michigan State)
2017- Amile Jefferson (Duke)
2016- Isaiah Miles (Saint Joseph’s)
2015- Montrezl Harrell (Louisville)
2014- Glenn Robinson III (Michigan)
2013- Jordan Henriquez (Kansas State)
2012- Nick Kellogg (Ohio)
2011- Zeke Marshall (Akron)
2010- no one, it panned to Jennifer Hudson
2009- Blake Griffin (Oklahoma)
2008- Stephen Curry (Davidson)
2007- Pat Ewing (Georgetown), Al Horford (Florida)
2006- Brian Butch (Wisconsin), Kyle Lowry (Villanova)
2005- Jared Homan (Iowa State)
2004- JR Giddens (Kansas)
2003- Steve Blake (Maryland), Nick Jacobson (Utah)
2002- Luke Jackson (Oregon)
2001- NO CLUE IS THAT FRANK WILLIAMS (Illinois)
2000- Eduardo Najera (Oklahoma)
1999- Michael Johnson (Oklahoma)
1998- Mark Madsen (Stanford)
1997- no idea
1996- Sydney Johnson (Princeton)
1995- Bryant Reeves (Oklahoma)
1994- Rafael Maldonado (Tulsa)
1993- George Lynch (North Carolina)
1992- no idea
1991- no idea
1990- Dennis Scott (Georgia Tech)
1989- Sean Elliott (Arizona)
1988- Danny Manning (Kansas)
1987- Dallas Comegys (Depaul)

team "you're a shooting star"
2021- Luka Garza (Iowa)
2019- Carsen Edwards (Purdue)
2018- Donte Ingram (Loyola-Chicago)
2017- Tyler Dorsey (Oregon)
2016- Josh Hagins (Arkansas-Little Rock)
2015- Sam Dekker (Wisconsin)
2014- Shabazz Napier (Connecticut)
2013- Seth Curry (Duke)
2012- Michael Kidd-Gilchrist (Kentucky)
2011- Jimmer Fredette (BYU)
2010- De’sean Butler (West Virginia)
2009- Scottie Reynolds (Villanova)
2008- Tyrone Brazelton (Western Kentucky), Danny Green (North Carolina), DJ Augustin (Texas)
2007- Tajuan Porter (Oregon), Kevin Durant (Texas)
2006- Jordan Farmar (UCLA)
2005- Rashad McCants (North Carolina)
2004- Rashad Anderson (Connecticut)
2003- Carmelo Anthony (Syracuse)
2002- Juan Dixon (Maryland)
2001- Jay Williams (Duke)
2000- Carson Cunningham (Purdue)
1999- Mateen Cleaves (Michigan State)
1998- Shammond Williams (North Carolina)
1997- Miles Simon (Arizona)
1996- no idea
1995- Tyus Edney (UCLA)
1994- Gerrod Abram (Boston College)
1993- Billy McAffrey (Vanderbilt)
1992- unknown New Mexico State player
1991-

..... Will get a reward.

Because they work on many levels

Well, toucan play at that game.

Argon does not react.

Me : For starters, I bring a lot to the table

Windows

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

She said apple-lutely

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!

This happened a few years ago when my son was 6ish. When my kids hurt themselves and it doesn’t look serious I always do the “we might have to amputate that bruised hand” shtick with them. I’ve done it enough that they now roll their eyes.

So, my son got hit lightly in the face with a rubber ball. It wasn’t a hard hit and I could tell he was more upset by the shock of it rather than the pain. So I say “looks like we will have to amputate your nose.” To which he replies “then how will I smell?” And I say “terrible!”

It was my greatest dad joke ever. I felt like I could retire after that.

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

To get to the... Bottom...

(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)

Japan.

"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.

second hand stores!

it's Hans free now..

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

Materoa Ngārimu was born at Maraeke, Whareponga, on the East Coast, according to family information on 8 August 1881, the first of two children of Tuta Ngārimu, a sheepfarmer, and Mākere Rāiri. She came from the senior lines of descent of the leading hapū of Ngāti Porou, which included Te Aitanga-a-Mate, Te Whānau-a-Rākairoa, Te Aowera, Te Whānau-a-Ruataupare, Te Whānau-a-Mahaki, Te Whānau-a-Iritekura and Ngāti Rangi.

After attending Akuaku, Hiruhārama and Tūpāroa native schools between 1888 and 1897, Materoa was sent to Hukarere Native Girls’ School, Napier, from 1898 to 1900. By 1899 she was a beautiful and very accomplished young woman being courted unsuccessfully by Peter Buck, a future Māori leader. Her elders had already matched her with John Marshall Reedy of Ngāti Porou, and they were married on 19 May 1903 at Whareponga. They were to have nine children. Although John was employed as a storekeeper and five years younger than Materoa, he was already gaining a considerable reputation as a hard worker and knowledgeable farmer and stockman. Together they were to form a successful and influential team.

North of the Mata River, Materoa and John Reedy ran sheep and cattle and established a dairy herd of 200 pedigree Jersey cows, a shepherd’s cottage, a six-stand woolshed, a large orchard and 60 acres of oats and barley to make chaff for their horses. Each year around 600 Angus steers would cross the river on their long trek to the freezing works in Tokomaru Bay. They employed a permanent workforce from the local community to maintain the fences, keep down the scrub and plough the land on each side of the river.

Materoa and John built a beautiful homestead, Waitangirua, with large grounds, a tennis court, several maids, a gardener and a chauffeur to accommodate a lifestyle which attracted frequent weekend visitors and included house parties. South of the Mata River there was a private racing establishment, their own race-track, racing stables and a private trainer, B. J. Clements. Pakanui, a great favourite of Ngāti Porou, was the great horse to emerge from the stable, winning eight major races in succession before his untimely death.

Materoa became a leader at an early age. Her rank enabled her to take a role that extended to the whole tribe and was of a kind usually restricted to men. In the early 1900s she took over from Tuta Nihoniho the responsibility of allocating through the Native Land Court over 30,000 acres of Te Aitanga-a-Mate hapū lands bet

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!

Indian places are naan profit, Vietnamese places are pho profit.

He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.