A boy finally reached the front of the line at a water park, but when I measured him he was just short of the mark...

I shrugged, "Eh, I'll let it slide."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/olbox_ofsox
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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Punny plumber

A plumber is finishing up his last job of the day when he gets a call from his dispatcher to install a water heater. He argues, but the dispatcher says everyone else has gone home and it’s marked as urgent. The plumber concedes the argument and says β€œIt’s a tankless job, but somebody’s gotta do it”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LarsBlackman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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My coworkers groaned every time I mentioned it

A coworker last night named Mark accidentally left a bottle of water at my station. To make sure he gets it next time he comes in, I wrote his name on it with a sharpie.

I've been telling people I Marked the bottle.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kuebic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2016
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A scientist and his assistant

A scientist and his assistant are in the lab. In front of them is a tank with two fish swimming around. the scientist says to his assistant, "Go into the specimen room and get two more fish."

So the assistant grabs a cart, goes across the hall to the specimen room, puts in his access code on the number panel, pushes the cart in, picks up two fish bowls, each with a fish swimming around, and places them in the cart.

Then he pushes the cart back across the hall into the lab, checking to make sure the door to the specimen room shuts behind him, brings the cart in.

The scientist says, "Pour each fish into the tank with the other two."

So the assistant pushes the cart right next to the tank, picks up each bowl and pours them into the tank with the other fish "

The scientist says, "Now go get some electrical wire out of the storage room."

So the assistant leaves the lab, walks down the hall to the storage room, puts in his access code, grabs a coil of copper wire, marks how much he took on the inventory sign off sheet, leaves the storage room, and locks the door behind him.

So he walks back into the lab with the wire, and the scientist says, "Cut two pieces, each about four feet and place one end of each in the tank."

So the assistant unwraps about eight feet of the copper wire, cuts it in two pieces, and bends one end of each length so they hang on the edge of the tank with six inches into the water.

Then the scientist says, " Now plug each piece of copper wire into that electrical outlet and electrocute the fish "

And the assistant says, "Four watt porpoise?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Redremnant
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2014
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