I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Best run in terms of anything
Cary Grant: Topper, The Awful Truth, Only Angels Have Wings, Wedding Present, Bringing Up Baby, Holiday, Gunga Din, This Is the Night, Merrily We Go to Hell, Suzy, In Name Only, The Toast of New York, The Amazing Quest of Ernest Bliss, Sylvia Scarlett, When You're in Love, Wings in the Dark, Big Brown Eyes, Wedding Present, Born to Be Bad, Kiss and Make-Up, Ladies Should Listen, The Last Outpost, Enter Madame, The Woman Accused, Hot Saturday, Madame Butterfly, She Done Him Wrong, Gambling Ship, I'm No Angel, Alice in Wonderland, Thirty-Day Princess, Singapore Sue, The Eagle and the Hawk, Devil and the Deep, Sinners in the Sun, and Blonde Venus.
Clark Gable: It Happened One Night, Test Pilot, Gone With The Wind, Idiot's Delight, Mutiny on the Bounty, Red Dust, Wife Vs. Secretary, Manhattan Melodrama, The Painted Desert, Dance, Fools, Dance, The Easiest Way, Chained, Forsaking All Others, After Office Hours, China Seas, Call of the Wild, No Man of Her Own, The White Sister, Parnell, Saratoga, Too Hot to Handle, Susan Lenox (Her Fall and Rise), Possessed, Polly of the Circus, Strange Interlude, Hell Divers, Night Flight, Hold Your Man, Dancing Lady, Men in White, A Free Soul, Laughing Sinners, The Finger Points, Sporting Blood, The Secret Six, Night Nurse, Cain and Mabel, Love on the Run, San Francisco, and Idiot's Delight.
John Wayne: The Big Trail, Stagecoach, The Star Packer, Riders of Destiny, Blue Steel, Born Reckless, Arizona, The Deceiver, Maker of Men, The Shadow of the Eagle, The Sweetheart of Sigma Chi, Sagebrush Trail, Three Texas Steers, Red River Range, Overland Stage Raiders, Pals of the Saddle, New Frontier, Santa Fe Stampede, The Night Riders, Allegheny Uprising, The New Frontier, Winds of the Wasteland, The Lawless Nineties, King of the Pecos, The Oregon Trail, The Lonely Trail, Lawless Range, Conflict, Sea Spoilers, I Cover the War!, Adventure's End, Born to the West, Wyoming Outlaw, California Straight Ahead!, Idol of the Crowds, The Lucky Texan, West of the Divide, The Trail Beyond, The Man from Utah, Randy Rides Alone, Texas Terror, 'Neath the Arizona Skies, The Dawn Rider, The Desert Trail, Paradise Canyon, Westward Ho, The Man from Monterey, Baby Face, The Three Musketeers, Somewhere in Sonora, The Hurricane Express, That's My Boy, The Big Stampede, Ride Him, Cowboy, Two-Fisted Law, Haunted Gold, Lady and Gent, The Telegraph Trail, His Private Secretary, Rainbow Valley, The Lawless Frontier, The Life of
... keep reading on reddit ➡
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
And boy are my arms legs.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
I won't be doing that today!
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
[Removed]
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
And then shook his arm really fast.
(True story, please groan with me.)
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
