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The new Dad Challenge Podcast video inspired me…let’s not give this fool any unnecessary views. I’m here to recap the problematic ways of Cole’s new channel (it’s not a bribery suitcase of cash, but it’s good-honest snark). Let’s get into the video!
Cole introduces us to Martins Licis (quick research shows he was awarded strongest man on earth in 2019). Cole, the man with legs like a chicken, is going to challenge him. They will be working to break a block of ice, and whoever does so first will win a briefcase filled with 1K cash.
Cole reminds us to subscribe (don’t! it’s a trap!) for a chance to win a suitcase full of cash.
A long long title is given to the competition - The First Annual National County Wide Ice-Breaking With Strong Man Competition Challenge Tournament. This gives me Michael Scott’s Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Celebrity Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race for the Cure vibes (only the latter is actually funny).
Their competition works like this: spin the wheel and try to break out the suitcase. Each item they spin has a 30 second time limit for use, so on and so forth. They take turns basically beating the shit out of the ice. This might make you laugh if you are 12 or a baboon. Otherwise, you’re just obnoxiously listening to Cole LaBrant scream and act ridiculous. Here is an example. By round 5 they upgrade to things like a hammer and frying pan vs a wooden skateboard or ice cream scooper. By the way, Colon narrates this so between his narration and obnoxious screaming, it’s especially gross. Cole also has a helper (hired actor and definitely not a friend), but Martins still pulls ahead. While Martins would beat, like everyone, Cole shows off his weakness, stupidity, and lack of understanding for the laws of physics.
Martins wins (obviously), and Cole huddles with likely paid actors who are pretending to be his friends. They come back dressed in “gothic gear.” Think black wigs, Korn shirts, all black, makeup. Cole tells Martins how they wrote a song about him. Martins does some acting as well when he starts crying, pretending to be touched by this. Alas, Emo Dads makes its debut. This is one of the only things that is more pathetic than Lil Klay who can only be described as a menace to the music community. Here’s an image of Cole that you never wanted to see!
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