I am ashamed to admit the following occurred during project management training today:

We had begun a section on 'change management', and to prove his point, the facilitator challenged us to try to name one thing that does not involve change.

I proudly shouted out "A CREDIT CARD!"

He looks at me and asks, "A... credit card?"

I reply, "Yes. There is no change when paying with a credit card..."

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Utsis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2016
🚨︎ report
I went for a job interview today and the manager says, you’ll start at 45k, and we’ll pay you 85k later.

I told the manager, I’ll start later.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Corvette-Ronnie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2022
🚨︎ report
I went for an interview for a job today and the manager said, β€œWe’re looking for someone who’s responsible.”

β€œWell, I’m your man.” I replied, β€œIn my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShortHaxYT
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2022
🚨︎ report
Went for a job interview today, at IKEA. The manager said

β€œCome in, make a seat”

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PavilionFlux
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Managed to drop one of the classics today.

Wife and Daughter are sat watching something while I’m doing the Tesco shop on my phone. - Strawberry jam is on the list, I seize my moment

β€œY’know what” i say

β€œ - now I think about it…. I like strawberry jam… and I like blackberry jam … but I don’t like lemon preserve”

<dramatic pause>

β€œThat just a curd to me”

Priceless!!!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iamdecal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
🚨︎ report
I managed to break both big toes during my soccer match today, had to come off the field in horrible pain, and my team went on to lose the match 0-4.

Today I truly suffered the agony of da feet.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hollowbody57
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I was working behind the bar today when two guys came in and tried to pay with a couple of counterfeit Β£10 notes. When I told the manager, he asked what they looked like..

β€œLike Β£10 notes” I told him

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
We were cleaning out our closets today and my wife forgot the code to her luggage, but luckily, I managed to figure it out. I looked her and gloated proudly...

"Well, I guess you can say...I solved the case!!"

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I got in trouble for telling a joke I saw here. (A story with a joke)

So I work at a bank part time, I usually get a joke or two from here each day and tell it to my boss over MS Teams. We have a chuckle and go about our day. My last day was alright set for tomorrow (Saturday).

Wednesday the top joke was: How does a Mexican cut his pizza? With little caesars.

Apparently that could be seen as racist by the bank management that could potentially see everything written in our chats. So I get pulled into the office and it was all just verbal warning blah blah. I was obviously not my intention to be racist as I am a Christian dad who just loves jokes and eye rolls as you do on this sub.

Fast forward to today, my last Friday in the banking world. I'm on to bigger and better things. By now everyone knows the joke and everyone knows that the manager overreacted. My assistant manager bought some pizza in my honor and didn't think about where she got it from. So of course when she said it out loud in the teller line I started cracking up. 'I got Little Caesars for you.'

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shushbug04
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
🚨︎ report
My best friend was straight up fired from his job in a PC keyboard factory today. All his manager said was that he wasn't putting in enough shifts.
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Perigeesus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
🚨︎ report
My teenager took his driving test today and managed to get 8 out of 10.

The remaining 2 jumped out of the way.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Wish me luck in the London Marathon today. I managed a respectable, 3 hours, 12 minutes, last year...

This year, I will try to beat that but, I usually get bored and end up turning over to watch something else...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nathan_nuggets
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
So a church needed a bell ringer…

The friar puts a sign outside that said β€˜bell ringer wanted, tryouts Saturday morning’

Saturday morning rolls around, and there were three people lined up out front of the church waiting to try to ring the bell. A tall, muscular man, a skinnier, frail man, and an average sized man.

The friar took them all up one at a time and handed them the hammer to hit the church bells with.

The muscular man grabbed the hammer in one hand, slammed it into the bell, and nearly shattered both with the force behind the swing. The friar said that they’ll have to keep looking.

The frail man could barley pick up the hammer. He swung it pitifully, and managed to ting the bell. The friar just shook his head and chuckled, thanking the man for coming.

The average sized man refused the hammer. Before the friar could question it, the man reared his head back and slammed it into the bell, producing a ring of such pure tone and quality it brought a tear to the friar’s eye. While he was wiping the tear from his face, the man, stumbling from the impact of skull to bell, accidentally tripped and fell off the bell tower to his death.

Well, the townsfolk had heard the beautiful bell, and a small crowd had gathered beneath the bell tower around the man’s body.

Collectively, they said β€œWho is he Friar? What happened?”

The friar shook his head sadly and said

β€œI don’t know, but his face rings a bell”

BUT IT ISN’T OVER CAUSE THEY STILL NEED A BELL RINGEE ROUND TWO KIDDOS HERE WE GO!!

So the next morning, when the friar opened the doors in the morning, a man approached him and said β€œFriar, you don’t know me, but the man who died yesterday was my brother. I’d be honored if you’d let me ring the bell today in his honor.”

The friar nodded and let the new man up the bell tower, handing him the hammer.

With a nightly swing, the man slammed the bell, producing again a high quality ringing tone. Unfortunately, he slipped while off balance and fell off the bell tower too and died.

Again, people were gathered around and they all asked as one β€œWho is he, Friar, what happened?”

The friar looked at them all in turn and said β€œI don’t know, but he’s a dead ringer for his brother”

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chemicistt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2022
🚨︎ report
Got my manager today

I'm (M) 5 feet from the bathroom and my manager is following me in. Manager asks "what's shaking?" Reply: "Me in about a minute."

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bicycleflossing
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2016
🚨︎ report
Got my manager today

She came in after a meeting today and had a Starbucks Coffee. We all asked why she didn't get us anything and she told us, "I meet my husband for coffee after the meeting and then came here" To which I replied, "you just met him now? I thought you've been married for 20 years"

Multiple face palms

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/allanbarth3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2016
🚨︎ report
My manager tried getting me today.

I was coming from the back with a load of bread when she stopped me and told me to put the bread down so I didn't drop it.

"Which reindeer do dinosaurs hate the most?"

I stopped for a moment and thought. It had been a long while since I've heard anyone mention Santa's reindeer by name.

"Comet."

"AWW! You're the first one who got it!"

This is when I realized that I spend too much time reading this subreddit. I lovehate you guys. Happy holidays!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Adasafa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2015
🚨︎ report
Managed to sneak in a good one at the hairdressers today!

So as the hairdresser was walking past a school boy he caught his foot on the guys rucksack and nearly tripped.

I murmured "That was a close shave."

The school boy looked at me, looked away and started to shake his head, while me and the hairdresser are grinning away...

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AjGoudie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2013
🚨︎ report
Managed to think of a great dad joke earlier today...

Earlier today I went for a swim at the local swimming pool but forgot to take my wig off. When I jumped in I felt it get washed away. Anyway, back to the joke, I came up with it right off the top of my head.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Colossal_Harry
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2015
🚨︎ report
Managed to get my cousins today

We were at an amusement park and getting thirsty. I suggested we stop for a drink, they wanted to go on one more ride. Afterwards one of them said:

"I'm thirsty, lets get a drink" to which I replied "I said it first. Guess you can say I'm firsty".

Facepalming and groaning ensued. I laughed like a maniac.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirSvieldevitchen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2014
🚨︎ report
So I dadjoked my shift manager today...

So I'm at work and my shift manager has gum in her hair.

Shift: How did this gum get in my hair? I think someone must have put it there.

Me: Looks like someones really gumming for you.

I was promptly sent to the back to do dishes.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/quanta_of_dan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
🚨︎ report
This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
One day, Kermit the Frog was a little short on cash, so he went to the bank to speak to a loan officer...

When he got there, a woman extended her hand.

"Good afternoon, sir," she said. "My name is Patricia Wack. How may I help you today?"

Kermit replied, "Hi-ho, Patricia! I'm Kermit the Frog, and I would like to borrow some money."

They walked over to her desk and sat down.

"Certainly, Mr. Frog--"

"Oh, just call me Kermit."

"Okay... Kermit. How much money would you like to borrow?"

"Ten thousand dollars."

Mildly surprised, Ms. Wack looked intently at Kermit.

"Do you have any references?"

"Well, I suppose I could use my father, Keith Richards."

Ms. Wack froze for a second, then...

"THE Keith Richards?"

"Oh, yes. In fact, he told me he's friends with your manager, which is why I came in here."

"Okay... Do you have any collateral?"

"Excuse me?"

"Collateral. Something of value, like a car, or a boat..."

"Oh, yes! I do have something. I have this."

Kermit reached into his briefcase and placed a small figurine on the desk. Patricia looked curiously at the object, then at our amphibious friend.

"What's this?"

"It's a Hummel."

"A what?"

"A Hummel. They're supposed to be quite valuable. Well, at least this one is to me."

She picked up the Hummel and stood up.

"If you don't mind, I would like to show this to the manager."

"Oh, no! I don't mind at all!"

So, Patricia took the Hummel to the manager's office, knocked on the door, and walked inside.

"Patricia! What can I do for you?"

"Mr. Wilson, there's this... frog named Kermit at my desk, and he wants to borrow $10,000, but he has only this for collateral."

Mr. Wilson looked at the Hummel, then out to her desk.

"I don't see anything out of order here."

"But, Mr. Wilson--"

"Look, it's a knick-knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Funny 'Dads Anonymous' story to share for the holiday weekend.

"Welcome everyone to Dads Anonymous. Again my name is Bill and you will notice that we have a new member, please welcome Gary -- Can you tell us what brought you to us today?"

"Well I have a very embarrassing confession. It's even hard to get the words out."

Bill reassures him, "We are all dads here and have been meeting for decades, we've been through all the highs and lows, births and deaths, tragedies, we've heard it all. Just tell us what's on your mind son, we are here to support each other."

"Well, a couple months ago, I broke both my legs in a motorcycle accident and couldn't walk, so I let my wife use the lawnmower." He says through the sobs...

Bob, one of the other dads, starts to get pale. "...and she didn't even cut it in a crisp geometric pattern, it was just random..." Bob starts to sweat and get dry heaves. "YOU BASTARD", he screams. "HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN." The dads rise and get ready to beat the crap out of Gary, when Bill stands between them and breaks it up.

"Guys! Guys, we all get weak sometimes and things happen outside our control. Doug, you remember when you were in recovering from Chemo and you gave your wife a hammer, and she used it to hammer a roofing nail into the drywall to hang a picture!" Doug, looks down in shame, "Yes, that was a bad day, I was so weak. She missed the stud and left a dent in the wall, and she just hung the picture over it, crooked!" There was dead silence. "Thats ok Doug, it was twenty years ago, you were young and foolish, you can let it go". Then all the dads shook hands and sat back down.

Bill starts the meeting up again. Then Gary says, "..theres one more thing, Right after I got out of the hospital, she wanted to make a special dinner for us, so I let her grill the steaks..." "OH LORD THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" screams Dave, another dad, his face turning red. Gary continues "...she burnt them one one side and they were dry and chewy." Now there is a bedlam, one dad immediately passes out cold, chairs are thrown, broken bottles, Gary is on the ground being kicked in the ribs. After a few tense minutes Bill managed to get the dads off of Gary. "Stop it, Dave you're killing him. Come on, you remember that time you let your wife go to the repair shop for an oil change?" Dave hung his head, and muttered yeah. "They convinced her to change the cabin filter, wiper blades and the radiator collant..." Bill kept prodding "and, aaand" ...Dave broke down, "and she bought a jug of blinker fluid!" T

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked the executive board room today

Got quite a few groans I was pretty proud of today!

We were talking about hiring a new manager for a field team, and it turned out the guy we liked the most had several felony convictions for gun possession.

COO: I'm not sure we can take the risk, despite his valuable experience.
Me: Well guys, at least we know he'll stick to his guns.

I'll make a very good dad one day.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tombodadin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2014
🚨︎ report
I made this up today hope its alright here

Went to the bird store today Went to the cage section and one caught my eye. It was way over priced and all It had was a penny, dime, quarter half dollar in it. I asked why it was so much?

The manager said because it was a nickel-less cage.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Disturbed56
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
asking for a loan

Mr. Sterling Frogsen was desperate. After a few months of success, his bakery was beginning to flounder and running in the red. He was a proud man who was proud of starting his small business without asking for any help. But now times were tough and he had to face the fact that without a loan his bakery was doomed.

So he went to local bank but was disheartened to see that the loan officer was the notorious Patricia Wacomb, the hard-nosed banker who only agreed to sure bets and rarely took risks.

"Please, ma'am, I am in sore need of this loan! My bakery is only going through a temporary setback!" Normally such pleas fell on deaf ears, but today Patricia was feeling generous. Something about Mr. Frogsen moved her and she believed his plight.

"Mr. Frogsen, I would approve this loan, but this bank cannot afford to take any risks."

"Is there anything you can do, Ms. Wacomb? I am desperate!"

"Well, do you have any collateral?"

"Only this family heirloom," Sterling responded while handing Patricia his prized family treasure. Patricia was at a loss, however, for she had never seen anything like that before.

"Let me ask my manager," she responded as she showed her director the prized heirloom. His eyes opened wide in amazement as he told her,

"It's a knick-knack, Patty Wack, now give the Frog a loan!"

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mxwp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Excel

Today I had a lot of problems with excel, but I managed to sort them out. *ba dum tss

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nendale
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2017
🚨︎ report
My husband's dad game is getting much better.

Yesterday, I was running back from the school bus after asking the driver to give me a moment because my disabled son had had an accident and I was about finished cleaning him up. It was raining and muddy and I was in my bare feet, but this is the norm out here.

On the way back I managed to get my big toenail ripped up off the nailbed down to about halfway to the cuticle. Never done that before in 31 years, and oh my, I have to say it was a whole different level of exquisite agony when I finally noticed it. Funny how you never notice things like that until you see all the blood and how it doesn't even hurt until you touch it.

Sparing you the details of tracking in blood for five minutes before I even noticed I'd done it, the husband cringed quite a bit when he got home from work and saw it.

Fast forward to today--my period started and I had one hell of a headache all day long. He gets home from work and asks, "you ok, babe?" Because I'm usually pretty cheerful when he walks in the door, but today I was cranky as fuck.

"Eh, period started. Headache. Glad you're home, I can take a pain pill and you can watch the kids."

"Oh." He looked me up and down slowly and grinned. "So... now you're hurting from head... to toe?"

Motherfucker.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SmutGoddess
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2015
🚨︎ report
Camping?

Alright, I am the manager at a new vr place in our mall- and we have a wonderful foosball table that people can come in and play free. Three teenage boys come in and challenge me to a game of 2 vs. 2. As I am destroying them, with the boy next to me mostly texting, one stops and looks at me after getting his first point on our team and says "This is getting intense." I nod and look around confused, then say "Uh.. I think you are confused, we are indoors-- not in-tents."

Lets just say i was pretty proud of myself today.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ParadoxicalCliche
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Making dadjokes when you can barely talk isn't easy, but I did it.

At work today, a friend of mine came in with two dried Carolina Reaper peppers. If you aren't familiar with these bad boys, they are hotter than Lucifer's testicles themselves. 2.2 Million Scoville units. Two times hotter than the ghost pepper.

To put it into perspective, a jalapeno is about 5000 scoville units. This one was 2.2 fucking million.

Anyway. I walked past my buddy's desk and he asked if I wanted some of the pepper.

OF COURSE I DID!!!

He gave me 1/4 of one of these little peppers and he even dared me to chew it for 15 seconds before swallowing. Which I did. To say that my mouth felt like the burning hemorrhoids of satans budding asshole would be a vast understatement.

One of the girls who sat near my buddy looks at me -- pacing back and forth around the room, sweating, crying -- and she says:

>"Cane-Dewey, are you alright!?"

I could barely breathe let alone speak. But through all the pain and angush, I still managed to mutter out:

>"No, I'm half left.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cane-Dewey
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2014
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked one of my bosses today.

My manager told me she didn't know if she could handle work today. I said "Oh, you'll manage."

πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2015
🚨︎ report
My daughter has been learning to ride her bike for a while now.

It's been slow. She usually only manages a few metres in a straight line before stopping. Today she cycled along for ages with one arm held out to the side.

I think she's finally turning a corner.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Neviss99
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
🚨︎ report
I got dad joked by my manager on the dairy farm I work at

It was a busy day we had a whole bunch baby cows born today and our calve pens are now completely full:

Me: If we get any more calves this barn is going to turn into a mad house...

Manager: Yea any more babies and it will be complete and udder madness

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nickster790
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Dog biscuits

Went to the gardening store today as I needed some stuff for the garden (duhh), anyways when I get to the counter there's a small basket with some fancy ass dog biscuits. I grab a small crumbly bit and chew on it, and then tell the cute girl behind the counter.

"You know what? These things don't taste like dog at all"

She looked aghast at me, and started laughing like crazy, and got some weird looks from her manager.

I should have got her number...

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hitno
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2015
🚨︎ report
Memory Foam Does Not Work

My dad was helping me move today. I pulled the memory foam off of my mattress to make it more manageable and my dad asks, "What is that?" I told him and he quickly replied "Who was your first grade teacher?" Me being unable to answer he said with great satisfaction, "See, it doesn't work!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maverickish
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2014
🚨︎ report
Even old ladies can do it!

I am a customer experience manager for a company that does third pay quality assurance.

I was listening to a call today & the agent asked the customer how she spelled her name. The customer chuckled & responded "Very carefully!"

FinΓ©.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/from_my_phone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2013
🚨︎ report
At Korean Barbeque today...

I went to a Korean BBQ restaurant today to celebrate my birthday, and one of the things this restaurant is known for is bringing out a lot of side dishes. Like 20 of them, to the point that there's no way we could finish it all.

So after we eat the manager comes around and asks how we liked the food.

>Dad: The food was really good, but I have a problem with the side dishes

>Manager: Oh no, I'm so sorry, what was the problem?

>Dad: There weren't enough of them, the selection was too small!!

At this point he starts doing the dad laugh, but the manager still didn't realize he was kidding, so my mom had to butt in and say it was wonderful. Hope we didn't offend or anything -.-

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/misingnoglic
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2013
🚨︎ report
I sent my dad a text explaining how my day at school went. He always gives the best advice.

Me: So today in Acting class I managed to bruise my knee and cut my thigh.

Dad: Acting is dangerous. Perhaps you should do something less dangerous like football.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thepretty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2014
🚨︎ report
My manager is definitely a Dad.

I work at a Starbucks as a barista. I can't tell you which seasonal drinks were about to start on nov 11th or 12th, but I can tell you one of them has a molasses drizzle topping.

Today, a guest comes up and asks if we have any molasses. My manager's response:

"Molasses? How can I have molasses if I never had any lasses to begin with?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorinaBox
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.