A Man in a hotel has trouble finding his room, goes down to the front desk and asks ' Excuse me, can you tell me what room I'm in please ? '
Certainly Sir, said the receptionist...this is the Lobby.
A man was walking down the beach when he saw someone lying on the sand with a banana shoved in the ear.
Intrigued, the man decided to warn the person and said "hey, you have a banana shoved in your ear".
The person replied "what?"
> "You have a banana shoved in your ear!"
> "WHAT??"
> "YOU HAVE A BANANA SHOVED IN YOUR EAR!!"
> "SIR PLEASE SPEAK LOUDER I CAN'T HEAR YOU 'CAUSE I HAVE A BANANA SHOVED IN MY EAR!.
A man is walking down the street holding a bag of pasta upside down...
And then the penne dropped.
A Man rushed into a Doctor's office shouting ' help me Doctor, I'm shrinking' The Doctor calmly said ' Now settle down a bit '..
.. you'll just have to learn to be a little patient.
A man was walking g down the street...
When out of nowhere, he gets hit by a car and flipped over. A woman came running over as he was lying on the sidewalk, takes off her jacket and slides it u der his head.
"Are you comfortable?" The woman asked
"Meh, I make a living." He replied.
Why did the man fall down into the waterhole?
He couldn’t see that well
A man is walking down the street when he looks into an alley and sees 2 sharks standing up.
One shark hands the other one a small packet full of some suspicious white powder.
"That's some fishy business" the man remarks.
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can't cut me down,” the tree complains. “I’m a talking tree!”
The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”
A man went to the doctor with a steering wheel down his pants
The doctor asked, "Why do you have a steering wheel down your pants?"
The man said, "I dunno, but it's driving me nuts!"
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
A man was chopping down a tree but was surprised when the tree suddenly exclaimed, "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"
then he responded, "And you will dialogue!"
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Guy gets pulled over for running a stop sign. He says to the cop “give me a break man, I slowed down.” The cop starts beating on the guy and says...
“So... do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?”
A man is walking down the sidewalk dragging a long, heavy chain behind him. A woman asks him, "Why are you dragging that chain behind you, mister?"
The man says, "Lady, you ever tried to push one of these things out front?!?"
As I was walking down the street, I noted a man with a large pole in his hand and stopped to ask, "Are you a pole-vaulter?"
His response was, "No, I'm German, but how did you know my name was Walter?"
What do you call a man on a roof with no way down?
heard about the blind man who fell down a well?
A man is speeding down the road, so a cop pulls him over...
The cop says "Why weren't you braking back there?"
And the man replies "I'm wearing clean underwear."
The cop says "Why is that relevant?"
And the man says "Well, I don't wanna get any skidmarks."
A man sits down at a bar. After a moment, he hears a voice behind him say "Hey, that shirt looks great on you!" He turns around, and nobody is there. Confused, he asks the bartender, "Where did that voice come from?" The bartender says...
"Oh, it's the peanuts.
They're complimentary."
A man bet another that a group of hippies couldn't get the meat down from a really high shelf without a ladder.
The cannibal replied "I can't, the steaks are too high"
Recently a man was cooled down to absolute zero...
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog, bends down as if to pet it, then picks it up by the tail and begins spinning it over his head. It created quite the ruckus, so an employee ran over and asked the man if he needed help.
"No thanks, just looking around."
Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli? He was dragged down by a currant..
I'm serious, it made the news headlines "Cereal killer sixth victim"
I was walking down the street and ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.
How do you get a one-armed man down from a flag pole?
A man was about to propose to his fiance but as soon as he got down on his knees, his fiance started laughing.
It was a fun knee moment.
I was walking down the street, and a man threw cheese, milk, and ice cream at me.
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe, which promptly lays down on the floor. The barman says, “Oi mate, you cant leave that lying there!”
The man says, “It’s not a lion it’s a giraffe”
What did the man say when his bakery burned down?
My whole business is toast!
I was in the gym the other day, when I saw a man get down on one knee and propose to his girlfriend. Unfortunately she said no!
Well that didn't workout...
As I was walking down the street, an old man came up to me and explained all the benefits of dining on meals with mint derived from sub-shrub herbs...
I thanked him for the sage advice but went on about my business.
While walking down the street a man found a hundred dollars on the ground...
While walking down the street a man found a hundred dollars on the ground. Ecstatic, he took the money and walked into a nearby store, thinking he would treat himself. Inside, he purchased a large chocolate cake and started walking home. Suddenly, a crazy old man popped out of an alley next to him and ran straight past him! As he went by, he dropped a mechanical eyeball straight into the middle of the cake. Dazed, the man stopped and stared at the eyeball when it suddenly started to belt out a tune!
Well, obviously the best part of this story was the finding of the 100 dollars - everything else is just eye sing on the cake.
Why did the old man fall down the well?
Because he couldn't see that well
Why did the man fall down the well?
Because he couldn't see that well..
A man is chopping down a tree…
The tree says to the man, “Wait, I’m a talking tree.”
The man continues to chop and replies, “And you well dialogue.”
Did you hear about the old man that fell down the well?
He couldn't see that well
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He just couldn’t see himself doing it
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Why did the blind man fall down a well ?
He couldn’t see that well.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
Because he couldn't see that well.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
Because he couldn't see that well.
Why did the man fall down the well
Because he couldn't see that well
Why did the man fall down the well?
Because he couldn't see that well.
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He really couldn’t see himself doing it.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
Because he didn't see that well.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
I was walking down the street when I ran into the man who sold me an antique globe a long time ago.
Why did the almost blind man fall down the well?
Because he couldn't see that well...
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.
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