does anyone know of any MTB or downhill bike trails in and around worcester, or even a short train ride away? Been looking for a while but cant seem to find anything

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

There have been many suggestions to extend the Alamein line to Chadstone and onto Oakleigh, as an obvious means to link up the Alamein (and by extension the Belgrave/Lilydale), Glen Waverley and Dandenong lines whilst providing direct high capacity rail access to Chadstone Shopping Centre. However, the question of cost-benefit has generally been in question with other transport needs considered to be of higher priority.

The government is proposing to build a rapid transit link from Caulfield to Rowville via Chadstone and Monash, roughly following Dandenong, Ferntree Gully, Blackburn and Wellington Roads with hopefully a dedicated light rail track and potentially some grade separation. If designed well, this rapid transit link could also provide an opportunity to integrate a light-rail conversion and extension of the Alamein line along the lines outlined earlier.

My proposal is for a practical, low cost but effective solution for conversion of the Alamein line to light rail and extension / integration per below. This proposal will involve no tunnelling to minimise cost, but will still require significant effort to traverse the Malvern Valley:

Figure 1: Malvern Valley Flyover

- From Alamein, extend along the former outer circle line (now Anniversary Trail) to the Malvern Valley golf course (of course, Anniversary Trail should be preserved, for which there should be adequate space). From here, a flyover across Gardners Creek and over the Monash Freeway and Glen Waverley lines positioned to minimise disruption to the layout of the golf course (between the greens). A station is to be located above East Malvern station, located for lowest cost integration with the existing pedestrian bridge and ramps.

- The line will then drop to grade, running west and south of Waverley Oval before continuing down Belgrave Road. This will result in approx 600m of shared road space before reaching Dandenong Road. (Note I have also suggested to extend Tram 3/3a along Waverley Road, possibly running up to the station at East Malvern as its terminus).

Figure 2: Integration with Caulfield-Rowville LRT

- The line will then join the Caulfield-Rowville line past Chadstone and onto Warrigal Road before heading sout

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Buenosdillas

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

New cases and information reported in the last 24 hours

• Local cases:
  • +55 new locally acquired cases:
    • 49 are linked to known outbreaks. 6 are under investigation
    • 25 have been in isolation for the entirety of their infectious period
• Overseas cases:
  • +2 new overseas cases recorded.
• 💉 Vaccinations:
  • +29,155 additional vaccinations were recorded for yesterday (only includes vaccinations being performed at Victoria's hospital immunisation hubs).
  • The 2 million vaccinations mark has been passed. A total of 2,022,513 doses have been administered at state vaccination hubs
  • Note 1: Phase 1b vaccinations are being performed by GPs and at respiratory clinics. These statistics will be reported by Federal government.
  • Note 2: We are reporting the increment since yesterday, which may differ from the actual number of vaccinations performed on the day.

DH Infographic 20 August 2021

• ℹ️Statements from the Premier:
  • 16 of August: Extended Melbourne lockdown to keep Victorians safe.
  • 11 of August: Extended Melbourne lockdown to keep Victorians safe.
  • 5 of August: Seven day lockdown to keep Victorians safe

Update: Extended lockdown

Strengthened extensions are in effect from 11:59pm Tuesday 16 August.

To see more information, visit COVIDSafe Settings.

⚠️ Case alerts – public exposure sites ⚠️

As the list is constantly being updated with new location and details, please always refer to the DH website for the most up to date and accurate information.

Exposure sites added in last 24 hours:

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

Here is my idea for the Caulfield to Rowville extension- I think this would work best but please leave your feedback which I would be happy to hear!

The route 3 tram from Caulfield Station to Darling Rd/ Waverley Road (last stop) would be removed and instead turned into a bus service with the same stops and frequency as what the tram service is now (yes this is controversial but would allow for the extension to be possible). This bus would be extended to east malvern station and beyond (wherever demand is present)

Caulfield Station would be upgraded to allow for cross platform transfers or easy transfers with the route 3 tram extension to Rowville. Easy transfers with buses and other modes of transport will also be possible. The tram route will then be extended down Dandenong road with stops at intersections and places like Chadstone SC. Stops won’t be every 100m so the trip will be quicker

At the intersection of Dandenong road and Huntingdale road (near the former BMW South Yarra used car showroom) the tram will turn right into Huntingdale road towards Huntingdale Station and head down the street

A rebuilt Huntingdale Station closer to the Oakleigh barracks will allow for a cross platform transfer between trams and trains so people from Rowville (for example) can get off the tram and will be able to board a train bound to the city

After the station stop the tram will head down North road before crossing Dandenong road and stopping at Monash uni. More stops at Waverley park and other destinations before the tram arrives in Rowville at Wellington Village Shopping Mall

The track alignment would go down the centre of the major roads listed above and would be similar to for example route 75 or the gold coasts G:Link. Rolling stock would be the e class trams

Upgrades to the pre-existing route 3 stops would also occur with more superstops and tram priority

Positives with this route is that people from Rowville don’t need to travel all the way to Caulfield to catch a train which would be time consuming, instead they only need to cross the platform at Huntingdale and head onto the train into the city. Another positive is the reduced number of stops on the route. Melbourne trams have a lot of stops and most of the time way to close together- reducing the number of stops will intern make service quicker

What are your thoughts? (And yes ik this all costs money but its an idea)

Route from Caulfield Station to Rowville- [https://ibb.co/124cMBc](https://ibb.co

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

New cases and information reported in the last 24 hours

• Local cases:
  • +61 new locally acquired cases:
    • 22 were in isolation for the duration of their infectious period
    • 48 are linked to known outbreaks. 13 cases are under investigation
    • In addition to 61 local cases reported, there are an additional 16 local cases which were recorded on a rapid PCR testing platform and will be reported in tomorrow’s numbers
• Overseas cases:
  • +0 new overseas cases recorded.
• 💉 Vaccinations:
  • +29,908 (record number) additional vaccinations were recorded for yesterday (only includes vaccinations being performed at Victoria's hospital immunisation hubs).
  • The 2 million vaccinations mark has been passed. A total of 2,022,513 doses have been administered at state vaccination hubs
  • Note 1: Phase 1b vaccinations are being performed by GPs and at respiratory clinics. These statistics will be reported by Federal government.
  • Note 2: We are reporting the increment since yesterday, which may differ from the actual number of vaccinations performed on the day.
• ℹ️Statements from the Premier:
  • 16 of August: Extended Melbourne lockdown to keep Victorians safe.
  • 11 of August: Extended Melbourne lockdown to keep Victorians safe.
  • 5 of August: Seven day lockdown to keep Victorians safe

Update: Extended lockdown

Strengthened extensions are in effect from 11:59pm Tuesday 16 August.

To see more information, visit COVIDSafe Settings.

⚠️ Case alerts – public exposure sites ⚠️

As the list is constantly being updated with new location and details, please always refer to the DH website for the most up to date and accurate information.

Exposure sites added in last 24 hours: