Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What are your best dad jokes? Whoever tells me the funniest one will have the honor of knowing their dad joke was my first as a dad.
Edit: there are two winners.
The first is one I told to my wife. It is about him being born with 4 kidneys but two of them will become adult knees. Thank you u/cabbithunt
The second I told me son. "There are two fish in a tank. One fish looks at the other and says 'I'll drive you man the guns.'" Thank you u/kiabe1
They XL in clothing
An under-cover cop
So i bought her a candle.
The bartender says "for you, no charge"
For all my nerds out there
94% of them replied “Get out of my shower!”
They start chatting and the Gen Z kid says that social justice issues are the biggest problem facing the world, and that the white supremacist patriarchy is a plague on society. > The boomer waves this off and says the kids these days are just too sensitive, and that he fought for civil rights in the sixties and did his part.
They go back and forth on this for a while, and finally the Gen Z kid says, "we're just not gonna settle this. We don't see eye to eye. You're too old and out of touch and I'm too young and inexperienced. What we need to do is ask a Millennial with a PhD in sociology for their opinion."
The boomer says, "that's a great idea!" And yells, "HEY BARTENDER, C'MERE!"
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
The rest are definitely goimg to call ne a nomster.
When it's ajar
Me: "3 and 5."
Wife: "That's odd."
Other daughter: "Even when you add them."
I've done well.
Edit: Spacing.
Edit 2: Holy gold Batman! I told my family we were brief internet celebrities last night, now we're royalty! Thanks the internet!!!
It was in the middle of 9 11
I know what you're up to.
Guess who came crawling back.
*4/yo is wrestling with 11/yo.
*11/yo rolls over and pretends to die.
Mom: He's dead you don't need to keep attacking him.
4/yo to 11/yo: You're a car now! Vroom.
Mom: What? He was dead and now he's a car?
11/yo: Yeah it's reinCARnation.
A garbage truck.
2021
It's a faux pa.
They're all packed and ready to go, they're at the gate now, and they're off.
EDIT: Thankyou everyone for getting me through this Friday these puns have been ridiculously on form except the one guy that tried to offer counselling advice on a joke thread 🙈
Give me dad joke material to entertain my wife as we sit here in the hospital together! What should my first joke be when I hold my daughter?
Because the next one will be 3.14 times worse.
That's swan way to go about it.
Or Josh with them. But try not to Rob or Sue them.
