And it makes it easier to slam the door and run so I don’t have to pay for dinner.
"But at least it's made with whole groins."
Son: “I hate crumbs.”
Me: “That’s not cool. Crumbs never did anything to you.”
Son: “Well I don’t want to eat them.”
Me: “And they don’t want to eat you.”
Son: “Crumbs can’t eat anything, Dad. They don’t have a mouth and they can’t swallow things inside them.”
Me: “What if there’s a river of crumbs going into the ocean and a duck lands on them and it’s like quicksand so the duck gets swallowed up at the mouth of the river of crumbs? I’d say it just got eaten.”
Son: “And I’d say you’re ducking weird.”
Because helium is a no-ball gas.
I always knew we would wipe ourselves out
Because he Missed-A-T.
She seamstressed.
especially when it's on cruise control
And he comes up to me one day and says "Hey Undope! I have this new custard I've been working on, and I think it's my best one yet! Would you like to try it?" And with me being a custard connoisseur, I happily agree, so he takes his sample he has on hand and gives it to me.
I take a bite and take my time, slowly judging the textures and flavors I would expect from a well crafted custard. He becomes mortified as a noticeable wince appears on my face and I struggle a little bit to put down the bite I took.
"Oh my gosh!" he cries. "Do you think it's bad!?"
I shake my head no in response, attempting not to hurt my friend's feelings.
"It's not terrible," I reply. "It's just kinda off-putting."
That's when i snapped
Dad: No problem. (To me) Hey, you live with this guy from now on.
"Where's the bread?"
It is just a faux foe.
It's always a cat-as-trophe.
At least I avocado
And get the puck out of here
Stairs.
They call it Elon Musk.
The premise is that the mouse controls the curser on the screen.
places bread in toaster oven
Anyone got any bread? 🍞
Courtesy of my father.
and call it "Food Court."
That's one loco motive.
100 of them.
