Need stupid/funny potato puns.

I know this might not be the place to post a question but I was wondering if any of you punny peeps can help me out? I got some free stamps and I want to mail a few potatoes out to my relatives. I know this is pretty stupid and a waste of time but I'm laughing at myself just thinking what their reactions and responses will be when they check their mailbox and see a potato. I want to write a potato pun somewhere on the potato. So of you're willing to help me do this; please leave me your potato puns for me to read and decide which ones I'll be using. Thank you for reading.

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📅︎ Apr 16 2019
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Some of the best from my family

At a wedding reception where the chocolates on the table were in nice looking package.

  • Dad: Don't throw that way; I'll take them home.
  • Mom: Great another of one thousand useless items that'll be on a shelf.
  • Dad: Aaaaw, Honey -- I'd never put you on the shelf.

While watching a baseball game:

  • Mom: Are they "boo'ing?" Nobody "boos" anymore.
  • Dad: Hey can I have a blow job?
  • Mom: Shut up.
  • Dad: Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

In regards to meatloaf my mother made:

  • Mom: Sorry the meatloaf isn't that good.
  • Dad: It's Ok. But next time try adding some Alpo.

While eating at relatives' house:

  • Mom: Wow. This is really good! We used to eat like this all the time growing up.
  • Uncle: Really? Where I come from we just call it Hamburger Helper.

In regards to an inappropriately shaped child's toy:

  • Me: Did you buy that at one of those special stores you guys got in San Francisco?
  • Grandfather: What?! Of course not! God no - that's not mine!
  • ...
  • Grandfather: It's too small...

When my brother and I were screwing around instead of helping in the garage:

  • Dad: You know, twice, twice! I thought I got it out quick enough but some must have dribbled back inside.

After listening to a 3 minute voice mail from my mother:

  • Me: What did she want?
  • Dad: You want the long or the short version?
  • Me: Short.
  • Dad: Nothing.
  • Me: Ok long version.
  • Dad: Nothing much.
👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Apr 16 2014
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