Anyone out there interested in buying my Delorean ? Great condition, low mileage..
really only driven from time to time..
Why do I always feel great on Saturdays and Sundays, and sick on all the other days ?
Maybe I just have a weekend immune system..
What do Jack the Ripper, Catherine the Great, William the Conqueror, and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Did you hear about the great German pub?
Today’s a great day to go to the cemetery.
It’s dead quiet and people are dying to go out.
I know where to store all the great dad jokes found in this subreddit
I know a great knock-knock joke,
You know it's a great dadjoke when you say something and your family groans, but the stranger dad behind you laughs.
I was out looking at beds with the family.
Wife: "I really like this bed."
Me: "I like it too, but I think this one is bedder."
KFC were offering great deals on popcorn chicken the other day...
Now that's what I call getting more bang for your cluck.
I had a really great conversation with a dolphin yesterday.
I don’t know, we just clicked.
Why did the animal doctor go through great lengths to hide his true identity?
Because he was a veteran Aryan.
The opera wasn't that great.
But it ended on a high note.
What’s so great about living in Switzerland?
Well, their flag is a big plus
Trading my male deer for my neighbor's female deer was a great deal.
I will become the next great god. The embodiment of Thor and Odin’s power.
I just thought of a great joke about second guessing
Why do great white sharks chase after Superman in the ocean?
Because he has a seal on his chest.
How do you track Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints!
What wears a pointy hat and has great rhythm?
What type of fish tastes great with custard?
There are only two white people in the movie Black Panther
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
What did the left eye say to the right eye when they got married?
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
What was a very common name in the middle ages?
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
The great thing about 'reddit' is that it tells you when you've finished reading it
My neighbor said onion and pi taste great together.
I said "but that's just an opinion."
I’m such a great speller but I can’t spell ironik
Well....... isn’t that ironik
I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..
Did you know 10+10 and 11+11 are the same?
10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"
Today’s my husband’s birthday and he’s a huge pencil enthusiast. I got him a great gift
Seems like someone’s gonna get lead tonight.
Great reddit for puns!
This puns are so well polished, the put the take out the ai in spain, move the s to the back and add a u atter the p.
I’ve got a condition which causes me to make terrible puns.
It’s a dad-ly disease.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads that get me though my day to day life, without you Dad Jokes wouldn’t mean a thing 😉
My childhood dream was to become a great ruler.
I just couldn't measure up.
The elderly wife in church turned to her husband and said, “I’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”
He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.
Oh the tangled web we weave ...
Grandma is always saying to me ' Hey what's the name of that German guy again who keeps taking my stuff '
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
I don’t have Great Expectations for my son.
I got him the other books by Dickens though.
Son's first good pun for Father's Day
My 7 year old son tries to tell puns, but he's really bad at it. After going to the zoo, he noticed that his right ear was itchy. Upon inspection, we noticed that the skin around his ear was flaking. We discussed if it was a sun burn, but he had been wearing a bucket hat all day. Without missing a beat he said:
I guess it has to be an "ear"itation. He even used air quotes. Proud moment for Father's Day!
Hope you had a great Father's Day as well!
A conversation I had on a dating app. For context, her instagram is mainly pictures of chairs and her name rhymes with chair.
I got dishonourably discharged from the Navy yesterday for accidentally boarding a different vessel.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Chewbacca of Star Wars was once a great baseball player in The Major Leagues. . . . . .
Seriously, he won Wookie of the year.
My dad literally just said this to me.
Dad: Whatcha reading?
Me: Just Reddit
Dad: Well if you already read it why are you reading it again?! (Nudges me) Get it?? Hahahaha
Me: (rolls eyes) Ha.Ha.
Anyone interested in buying my Delorean? Great condition, low mileage...
Only driven from time to time.
Anyone out there interested in buying my DeLorean ? Great condition, low mileage..
.. really only driven from time to time.
Anyone out there interested in buying my Delorean ? Great condition, low mileage.
Only driven from time to time.
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