Macallan Puns

He asks the bartender for a beer but the bartender ignores him. He asks again and is ignored again. He waves at a waitress and she ignores him. Frustrated, he bangs the bar with his crutch and shouts, "What's wrong with you people? A duck walks into a bar and asks for a drink and no one even notices?" But no one notices. He sighs and is about to leave when another duck enters the bar.

As soon as the second duck steps in, the entire bar's eyes are on him. A waitress rushes up to usher him to the bar while another gasps and a third tells the folks at her table, "He's handsome."

As the second duck sat down, right next to the first duck, the bartender came rushing to him with a menu and serviette and complimentary nuts and then a whole bunch of recommendations.

The first duck stared open-mouthed and wasn't sure if he should be concerned or relieved that the second duck actually saw him and locked eyes with him and smiled gently at him, before turning to the bartender and saying, "Let's keep it simple. Macallan 18 with a dash of water, and one for my friend here too."

Bowing and yes-sir-ing, the bartender turned and reached for the whisky. The second duck shot a friendly wink at the first.

The first duck finally found his voice but was still struggling to find his composure. "What was that? How come... how come...? Why can't anyone else see me??"

The second duck made a sympathetic face and shrugged. "You know how it is. No one cares about a lame duck precedent."