I'm running a D&D campaign and I figured out the best riddle for the players to solve to open a door.

"Take thine father's blade and ascend!"

>!The solution is Pa's Sword 1234!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AFonziScheme
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z

Happy No L!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called '1001 cures for itches."

I guess, I've got to start again from scratch.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?

Because they're all not 'C's.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedPlanetCorridor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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My imterviewer asked me why I put A, C, D, E, I, M, N, O, R, and T on my application.

I told him they were the letters of recommendation.

πŸ‘︎ 157
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChargedMedal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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Communism sounds good on paper, but I'm not sure I'd trust it to work...

...too many red flags

πŸ‘︎ 146
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrLazyTiger
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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They told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic.

But so far I've made 3 jugs and a vase and they're lovely.

πŸ‘︎ 848
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eidolonxero
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
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I’m proud of my son, I never thought he’d go so far

The catapult worked well

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhoenixFlamebird
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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I’m abscess’d with puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shlyford
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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They told me I’d never be good at Poetry because I’m Dyslexic.

But so far I’ve made 2 Vases and a Jug and they are lovely.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/5amoaJoe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
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I'd like to believe I'm okay at art, but
πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/willis00788
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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I thought my wife was joking when she said she'd leave me if I didn't stop singing β€œI'm a Believer”..

Then I saw her face...

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYRion7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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I'm a trucker. My dispatcher texted me to ask if I'd picked up a load of frozen toast. This was my response...

20,000lb of frozen bread so clearly I'm loafing along and a gluten for punishment.

Bad puns are the yeast of my problems. This load takes me to the upper crust, but if I don't get it in on time I'm toast!

Sorry about my rye sense of humor...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimMarch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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Can I play World War Z without having played World War A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X and Y before? /r/ShouldIbuythisgame/com…
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonaSavage17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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Son: Dad, what’s your favorite rock group? Dad: If I’m being subjective, I’d say The Who.

But if I’m being objective, I’d say The Whom.

πŸ‘︎ 424
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
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Really excited to be going to this rock concert, I'd love to crowdsurf but I'm slightly concerned

I might get a bit carried away.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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Where did Dr. Pepper get his M.D from?

University of Minnesoda

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alittlereaction
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m looking for punny popsicle names. I’d like them to be a play on actual names like Pop Ross, Mary Pop-pins, Pop Seger, Albert Ice-stein, Freezy F Baby, David Pop-perfield, and Iggy Pop. I’m particularly interested in playing upon the names of historical female figures. Help please and thank you!
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/polkadotmcgot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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My job is telling genuine trees apart from fake trees. I was so worried I'd be bad at it but as it happens I'm quite good.

That's a real leaf.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoAdenine
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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A trio of jokes I'm hitting my students with today. Yesterday I was told my jokes were "so bad that I shouldn't ever tell a joke again." =D

Q: What is the average math teacher?
A: mean

Q: What dessert do math teachers eat the most?
A: pie a la mode

Q: Where does the average cop hide when catching people for speeding?
A: The highway median

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blindsight
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2015
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I'm a street performer at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. I tell punny jokes there, thought you'd enjoy them.

The King is in love with the Spanish Armada, in fact you could say he warships it.

I got into a fight with a group of jesters, I escaped by going for the juggler.

I recently read "Gulliver's Travels" it was a Swift read.

Have you read the book about traveling through hell? It's a Dante-ing read.

Q: How many animals can you fight into the Lord High Sheriff's tights? A: Ten piggies, two calves, a rooster and an ass.

Vikings raided the royal cheese supply, they left nothing behind but de Brie.

I met a wizard, I told him he looked like a mana action.

The unskilled mason forget to put a water supply in the new castle. He did not keep well.

The angry archer was so surly he had everyone convinced he was a cross bowman.

The failed stone cutter also lost his job as a bounty hunter. He could never find his quarry.

The nun kept spilling sacramental wine on herself. She made a bad habit of it.

The pope enjoys chocolate on his boat. He like sailing indulgences.

The pope loves summer, they say he is infallible.

Two fae fell in love. They keep fauning over each other.

The knight suffered from boils, he had to get them lanced.

Why did the wood nymph use some much lotion? Because she had dryad skin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kbdekker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
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I'd break my neck to prove I'm not masochistic.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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W.M.D
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bpadden97
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2017
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I phoned up the place where I'd applied for a job at. I said, "I'm looking for Jane Wilkinson. The manager of the department."

She said, "Speaking...?"

I said, "English."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
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My dad has a Ph.D. and M.D...

Everytime the waitress brings food to our table he shouts "Just what the doctor ordered!"

πŸ‘︎ 192
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkalajian
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2013
🚨︎ report
I’d tell you a joke about construction but I’m still working on it.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ginge4244
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
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I didn't think I'd get lost at sea, but now I'm not so shore.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zokoro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
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[REQUEST] I'm looking for the best comeback to the old schoolyard joke, "Do you like seeeeee food?" While smacking and showing off the half chewed mouthful of lunchable they'd just choked down....

And I know most of you here can do better than my,

While stiff arming their face, "I don't wanna seeeeee yo food."

Do you get it? Do ya, cause it's about turning the joke back... You get it right?

Anyway, help a guy increase his dadjoke street cred with his kiddo and his lunchroom hecklers.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GingerHero
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2015
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I'd like to think I'm like a rare mushroom...

I'm a pretty fungi

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/altreebs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2017
🚨︎ report
I'm not a dad, but I guess I'd be an alright one.

A wall clock had stopped working so I changed the batteries:

Dad: did you fix it?

Me: only time will tell.

Got em.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudemanski
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2015
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I'm considering buying this photo, but I can't decide if that'd be exercising good Juddgment or not.

http://imgur.com/a/y0OeA

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2017
🚨︎ report
So I'm in D.C. visiting my dad.

We've just finished our thanksgiving shopping, when we pass by the Turkish embassy. My dad then exclaims, "I guess that's where we should've gotten the turkey!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItalianStallion23
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2013
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A little Christmas song. A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L...

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/December_Soul
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called '1,001 cures for itches.'

I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.

πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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My wife told me to stop singing "I'm A Believer" or she'd kill me. I thought she was kidding.

Then I saw her face...

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I thought my wife was joking when she said she'd leave me if I didn't stop singing "I'm a Believer."

Then I saw her face...

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paturious
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought my wife was joking when she said she'd leave me if I didn't stop singing "I'm a believer"...

Then I saw her face!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edotri
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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I thought my wife was joking when she said she'd leave me if I didn't stop singing 'I'm A Believer'...

Then I saw her face

πŸ‘︎ 563
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buy_an_sel-l
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I have updated the alphabet for festive period. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z

No-el no-L

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RikM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife told me to quit singing β€˜I’m a Believer’ or she’d leave me. I thought she was joking.

BUT THEN I SAW HER FACE

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshPlaysUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
They told me I’d never be good at poetry because I’m dyslexic

But so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase and they’re lovely.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/davyh1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report

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