Lubyanka Building Puns

https://preview.redd.it/4atdpih58m541.jpg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=870151521d8d87b9470c826cf0838452de44b279

>An unknown man started shooting an automatic rifle at Vorovsky Square in central Moscow. According to preliminary data, an FSB officer was injured, reports Baza.
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>The "Fortress" plan has been announced in all buildings and facilities of the FSB. The duty team of the special forces has been called to the site - the movement is blocked, people are being evacuated from the streets. RBK reports that shooting was opened in the reception of the FSB special service.
Three FSO employees were killed.
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>A source of RBK, close to the FSB, said that shooting was opened in the reception of the special service. Telegram-channel 112 also claims that the shooting started at the FSB reception, after which the attacker ran out into the street. The nearby streets were closed off. According to 112, there were three attackers, two of them were killed and one of the attackers continues to shoot and fires at the targets.
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>The press service of the Main Department of the Ministry of Internal Affairs in Moscow reported that they had no information about the shooting in the center of the capital.
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>Special forces are going on Bolshaya Lubyanka from all over Moscow. The attackers, according to eyewitnesses, are several people. Traffic was blocked around the place of the shootout, the nearby buildings were closed.
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>According to the channel, an unknown man with a gun barricaded himself in a building on Bolshaya Lubyanka and is firing.

https://politota.d3.ru/v-moskve-u-zdaniia-fsb-slyshny-avtomatnye-shchelchki-1896295

I've heard competing stories that yes, tourists can visit the infamous lubyanka building and I've also heard that we can't visit lubyanka. Anybody have any experience with this? I'm sure if I do something the R.F. doesn't like, I'll get an intimate view of Lubyanka, but I prefer to see it as a tourist if possible.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

We spent two months going over Nachalo and Konets.

We started in the buildup of it, examined what we had learned in 8 years, looked at Liz, her hopes and fears, and the bizarre 6 episodes that preceded Nachalo, from The Russian Knot to Godwin Page, full of plot holes, repeated scenes, and character changes. Then we went over Nachalo, a few sentences at a time, looking to understand how we got to this mess.

https://preview.redd.it/gp4lrrt4ynl71.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=8897dfeb6b1c9c1139661551d7534ded304b0ac0

Nachalo is consistent with an hallucination or a dream.

Not only in the style, but also in the substance, especially considering the strange people who do not seem to notice Red, Dembe and Liz had arrived, or when Liz starts screaming "there is more", to conveniently evaporate once they are shot:

https://preview.redd.it/kco9pekgynl71.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=bd1f4661515c0b539d11bc8322446d5452cd5d3f

Let us condense the narrative of Nachalo:

Katarina was a spy who did just as Dom told her, including her husband, Constantin Rostov for the advantages he provided. Targeted RR, who was stationed in Moscow, which resulted in an affair lasting more than 5 years.

She got pregnant, had the child because Dom thought it would cement the relationship to RR, and passed the child to both husband and lover as theirs. Meanwhile she stole classified information from RR, both for the KGB and the cabal. But RR discovered she was doing so, and began stealing information from her, to prove she was KGB, but instead realized she was also stealing from the USSR, which led him to the cabal.

He got this information in the fulcrum, and then took Liz and hid in the Rehoboth Beach house, until Katarina came with Ilya and goon to get her back and the information he had stolen. A fight and a fire ensued, and Liz shot RR. Despite Katarina and goons getting him to the car, he died. Liz went back inside for the toy, Katarina followed, and they both got burned. Katarina left her with Kate, eventually sent her to Sam.

She and Ilya concocted a plan to steal US $40 millions used to frame RR, for which Ilya impersonated RR in the banks, and then Katarina realized a new RR would be useful. Liz was sent to Krilov to suppress the information about that night, the killing, the fire.

She "created" a new Reddington, both so that Liz would not known she had killed her father, and because he was a traitor who could deal in infor

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap