Phil
Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.
If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.
Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???
Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.
Thank you,
A Dad.
Well, toucan play at that game.
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
She said apple-lutely
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
second hand stores!
it's Hans free now..
Old Neeeeiiiiighvy
10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too
A buck-an-ear!
I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!
Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!
He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.
Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:
Riceless
That was the punchline
Hi! Back to report my twins were born 6 weeks ago. The girl with the 6.0mm NT scan is doing really well. She had her repair surgery and is just working on growing her lungs and feeding so she’s still in the hospital as we expected but it’s likely to have a normal life after all this is finished. The boy twin is fine and is at home. However, there were some physical qualities like a big head and his sisters hernia that caused the doctors to want to run the exome test ( both twins already had a clean micro array). The boy twin had follow up heart, brain, kidney, bowel, hearing and and Eye MRIs/ exams- all normal. So far he acts like a normal baby except for his head being a bit large 😅
This email is the results... not sure how to interpret the results so curious if you guys had any idea what they mean. Anything helps since we are wanting to plan ahead from now on what to look out for.
Email from Genetist:
There wasn't anything clear cut in Twin A’s testing. He was found to have three variants of uncertain significance. The RERE variant he shares with (twin sister) and is the only dominant one. The other two found in Twin A are recessive in inheritance. For a recessive disorder, he would need to have two changes in the same gene inherited one from each parent. A single change is not enough to cause the condition. With limitations of testing though, the lab cannot guarantee there is not a second change. Those two genes are LRP2 and TMEM94. We would like to have you come into clinic to discuss these results in more detail. I see he has an appointment in October which was likely our first available. I can check around the schedule and see if there is somewhere sooner we can squeeze him in to discuss these findings further. Please let me know if you have questions in the meantime.
Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"
I did not know.
So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"
So proud.
Feyonce
He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths. He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.
He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.
She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up
So far no one has given me a straight answer.
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
Transparent
(sorry it sucks, it's like 2:30 in the morning right now and I haven't slept)
(Edit: holy shit! I wasn't expecting this to get so many upvotes. Also thanks for the awards guys, I really appreciate it!)
You look for the fresh prints!
It’s a dad-ly disease.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads that get me though my day to day life, without you Dad Jokes wouldn’t mean a thing 😉
