My uncle David just lost his wallet and phone and ID.

He’s just Dav now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/qmechan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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I lost my wallet couple days ago and had to go through security at work

The secuity woman asked "how do you spell your last name?"

So I replied Y-O-U-R-L-A-S-T-N-A-M-E.

She typed it into the system and was about to submit it when she noticed. She was so mad.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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I lost my wallet...

It turned up this morning when I opened up the washing machine. Everything inside (cash, credit card, driver's license) was soaking wet.

Dad: "I'm calling the police."

Me: "Why would you do that?"

Dad: "You're guilty of laundering money."

ahh...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gudea_of_Lagash
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2013
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Very fishy

Reporter goes to a brand new fish farm. The owner is showing her around. "These are our salmon, our trout are over there..." As the owner is speaking, reporter trips & her billfold falls into the nearest tank. It floats away, carried by the artificial current.

Reporter asks if the owner has a pool skimmer or something. Owner proudly says "No need, just watch - these fish are smart!"

Reporter watches as her billfold pops above the surface on the nose of a fish. The wallet is then tossed up, and another catches it.

This goes on until the last fish tosses the lost leather case into the reporter's hands. "That's amazing," she says.

Owner grins & says "Yep! We're proud of our carp-to-carp walleting!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/earthwulf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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