My dog is huge but he isn’t very good-looking, smart or obedient.

I suppose you could call him a Good Dane.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StandbyBigWardog
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I can never get my hair looking as good as when I leave the hairdresser.

He has a certain je ne sais coif.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsonlyinternet
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
A Chihuahua and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Bulldog says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."

Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."

πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Good looking people are always busy

I could tell you why, but I'm busy right now

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard that mixed race babies are really good looking.

So I enrolled both my kids in the hurdles and 100m sprint.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudecancode
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I was in town earlier on looking for some fly killer. I picked up a can and asked the young store assistant "Excuse me, is this any good for wasps?"

"No" he said, "It kills them"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a good looking tractor?

Attractor

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Damn this pink salt is looking real good today.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/patchoulius
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I went looking for mushrooms, but I am not very good at it

There is no morel to this tale.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sludgemonkey01
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Helping my work colleague with her car. "I'm sorry, it's not looking good....

... I think it's caught the car owner virus"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm looking to sell my Delorean. Good shape, low mileage... Only driven from time to time
πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlakthusDisko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
and good-looking too!
πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/littleporpoise
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Good one from my dad: "I can cut wood by just looking at it"

Came up during a conversation about having a bonfire

Dad "Here's something you might not have known about me, I can cut wood by just looking at it"

Me, fully expecting a dad joke: "I don't believe you but would you care to elaborate"

Dad: "Its true! I saw it with my own eyes"

He giggled to himself for about 10 minutes after that one.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sb95500
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2016
🚨︎ report
I've been looking for some new hunting gear but good camouflage is hard to find.
πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shoopdebop
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I may not be, that good looking, or athletic, or funny, or talented, or smart.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/792262
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
and good-looking too!
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trinerr
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Looking for a good way to blow some money?

Fireworks!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dizmodo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My backyard herbs are looking good...

You might say they're in mint condition.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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I'm looking for some good fish jokes

If you know any...

Let minnow

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marocu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I have a very good feeling about my job interview today. The manager said they were looking for somebody responsible.

β€œYou’ve found your man,” I responded, β€œwhenever there was a problem in my last job, they always said that I was responsible!”

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sunilrai591
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Its a good thing that x-ray glasses aren't real, or there would be a lot of good looking people with cancer.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oneidamojo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
🚨︎ report
[Help] Looking for some good clean name puns!

I have a few examples of what I'm looking for. I like them, but I'm sure the power of Reddit can come up with some that are even better!

  • William (Bill) Ding

  • James (Jim) Nastics

  • Bart Ender

  • Ted Manwalkin

  • Gustavo (Gus) Undheit

As you can see, they don't even have to be straight up puns when said normally, but their common nicknames lend themselves into it. Anyone have any more good ones? Bad ones are appreciated too, lets all have a laugh!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2016
🚨︎ report
Blind people are the least good looking
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zberry97
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What does a musician looking for a new apartment do when he finds a good listing?

See flat.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TakaComics
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2017
🚨︎ report
I was looking on Yelp for some good seafood in my area and there was one place close by.

But it only had tuna half stars.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliveBoobs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2017
🚨︎ report
My fortune cookie said β€œYou are as smart as you are good looking.”

Well, screw you too, cookie!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did my TV start looking so good this year?

It was his new years resolution

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Costumekiller
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Guy used to be in the army. Real good looking guy too. Blond hair, tall, blue eyes. But now tends to sick animals, helping to diagnose and treat them so they can get better.

He's a veteran Aryan.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/someredditorguy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2016
🚨︎ report
What did the overly honest werewolf say to the good looking woman at the bar?

Hey Baby. I'm a-lookin' and I'm a Lycan.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/commoncents45
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2014
🚨︎ report
I'm looking to sell my Delorean. Good shape, low mileage...

Only driven from time to time.

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report

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