My dog is huge but he isnβt very good-looking, smart or obedient.
I suppose you could call him a Good Dane.
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︎ Feb 14 2021
I can never get my hair looking as good as when I leave the hairdresser.
He has a certain je ne sais coif.
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︎ Feb 17 2021
A Chihuahua and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Bulldog says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."
Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
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︎ Oct 07 2020
Good looking people are always busy
I could tell you why, but I'm busy right now
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︎ Sep 10 2020
I heard that mixed race babies are really good looking.
So I enrolled both my kids in the hurdles and 100m sprint.
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︎ Oct 18 2020
I was in town earlier on looking for some fly killer. I picked up a can and asked the young store assistant "Excuse me, is this any good for wasps?"
"No" he said, "It kills them"
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︎ Sep 24 2020
What do you call a good looking tractor?
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 29 2020
Damn this pink salt is looking real good today.
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︎ Mar 10 2020
I went looking for mushrooms, but I am not very good at it
There is no morel to this tale.
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︎ Apr 26 2020
Helping my work colleague with her car. "I'm sorry, it's not looking good....
... I think it's caught the car owner virus"
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︎ Apr 25 2020
I'm looking to sell my Delorean. Good shape, low mileage... Only driven from time to time
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︎ Sep 26 2019
and good-looking too!
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︎ May 22 2019
Good one from my dad: "I can cut wood by just looking at it"
Came up during a conversation about having a bonfire
Dad "Here's something you might not have known about me, I can cut wood by just looking at it"
Me, fully expecting a dad joke: "I don't believe you but would you care to elaborate"
Dad: "Its true! I saw it with my own eyes"
He giggled to himself for about 10 minutes after that one.
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︎ Dec 06 2016
I've been looking for some new hunting gear but good camouflage is hard to find.
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︎ Jul 13 2019
I may not be, that good looking, or athletic, or funny, or talented, or smart.
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 23 2019
and good-looking too!
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︎ May 22 2019
Looking for a good way to blow some money?
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︎ Jul 01 2019
My backyard herbs are looking good...
You might say they're in mint condition.
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︎ Jul 13 2019
I'm looking for some good fish jokes
If you know any...
Let minnow
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︎ Aug 17 2018
I have a very good feeling about my job interview today. The manager said they were looking for somebody responsible.
βYouβve found your man,β I responded, βwhenever there was a problem in my last job, they always said that I was responsible!β
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︎ Oct 11 2018
Its a good thing that x-ray glasses aren't real, or there would be a lot of good looking people with cancer.
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︎ Dec 16 2018
[Help] Looking for some good clean name puns!
I have a few examples of what I'm looking for. I like them, but I'm sure the power of Reddit can come up with some that are even better!
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William (Bill) Ding
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James (Jim) Nastics
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Bart Ender
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Ted Manwalkin
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Gustavo (Gus) Undheit
As you can see, they don't even have to be straight up puns when said normally, but their common nicknames lend themselves into it. Anyone have any more good ones? Bad ones are appreciated too, lets all have a laugh!
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︎ Aug 23 2016
Blind people are the least good looking
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︎ Oct 25 2018
What does a musician looking for a new apartment do when he finds a good listing?
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︎ Jan 30 2017
I was looking on Yelp for some good seafood in my area and there was one place close by.
But it only had tuna half stars.
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︎ Sep 14 2017
My fortune cookie said βYou are as smart as you are good looking.β
Well, screw you too, cookie!
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︎ Jan 16 2018
Why did my TV start looking so good this year?
It was his new years resolution
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︎ Jul 11 2017
Guy used to be in the army. Real good looking guy too. Blond hair, tall, blue eyes. But now tends to sick animals, helping to diagnose and treat them so they can get better.
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︎ Oct 01 2016
What did the overly honest werewolf say to the good looking woman at the bar?
Hey Baby. I'm a-lookin' and I'm a Lycan.
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︎ Jul 16 2014
I'm looking to sell my Delorean. Good shape, low mileage...
Only driven from time to time.
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︎ Sep 25 2019
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