Iβm starting a flight company exclusively for bald people, Iβll call it
Receding airlines.
Iβm seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife, but Iβm pretty sure sheβll figure out...
Iβm just after my money.
Stallone: Iβm making a movie about composers. Iβm playing Beethoven. Van Damme: Iβll be Mozart.
Schwarzenegger: Iβll be Bach
Next time my kid asks if Iβll play cards with her, Iβm gonna say no
We donβt talk about Uno.
What a knocker. Itβll stick out in my mammary for some time, Iβm sure.
I got offered a job on the fish counter but Iβm not sure Iβll take it.
I need to weigh the frozen prawns.
Iβm about to share a joke thatβll turn r/dadjokes upside down
sΗΚoΙΎpΙp/ΙΉ
Iβll tell you what! Today Iβm constipatedβ¦
β¦and I donβt give a crap!
I post a pun everyday on this subreddit hoping itβll blow but Iβm disappointed.. every time!
Iβm not sure Iβll be able to watch Narcos the same ever again
Iβm sure heβll have an otterly good time
Iβm going to start a brand of rice wine and Iβll call it for fucks.
Oh..... for fucks sake.
I recently moved in with my rich dad to his house on the French country side. Iβm afraid Iβll never be as successful as him and buy my own place.
I guess Iβll always live in my fathers chateau.
"Iβm pretty tiredβ¦ I think Iβll go home now."
Iβm probably not gonna message either of these guys, but Iβll keep them here, yβknow...
WAITRESS: Hi Iβm Jenny Iβll be your waitress today
ME: Hi weβre the Millers and weβll be your customers today.
My wife thinks that one day, Iβll be a brilliant father, but Iβm not convinced...
And neither are our children...
Iβm not sure what Iβll be doing in two years
I donβt have 2020 vision
Boss texts me: βSend me one of your funny jokes!β I reply: βIβm busy working. Iβll send one later.β
Boss texts me: βThatβs hilarious, send me another one!β
Iβm going to get an experimental vision correction surgery tomorrow but Iβm not so sure itβll work.
I suppose Iβll just have to wait and see
Iβm seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife, but Iβm pretty sure sheβll figure out...
...Iβm just after my money.
Iβm not sure what Iβll be doing at this time next year.
I donβt have 2020 vision.
