Huge safe tea issue.
For the cashier to not have heard of Fresco style clearly means she was very poorly trained. As for the missing drink items is it against TB policy for a location to not carry what is promoted by TB?
This is going to sound weird. If I add some starter tea to Lipton brisk, can I convert it to kombucha? A friend left a 2L and it’s pretty bad stuff, but I don’t want to throw it away.
Thanks for playing!
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THE HOUR OF ANIMALS
Outside, a hot rain fell from a black July sky. All around him was the decorative poison he proclaimed a gift. So vile and hungry, a lair of poison can ever be.
“Hickory dickory dock…”
Peter Mayberry went on labeling his voice a dreamy sensation no woman could ever deny the efforts of. Because his charm was a dream. His voice was a dream. His voice… His charm…
The parlor was a hue of an immense afterglow, straying into prominence the auburn cupboard filled with the framed faces he dreamed to caress once more. The lowboy lulled like some dead thing in the corner beneath a wreath that had been in the family for generations. Damned if the thing hadn’t been on the verge of being thrown out. His mother once told him it was good luck… that it would bring him the perfect mate in life, that it would uplift prosperity in love. Lately, he had to agree. He hadn’t had this much attention in all his life, not even in his teenage years when times were fast and women fancied a lad’s lust because lust was their ticket to high school stardom. Ahh… the things mother never knew about…
“The mouse ran up the clock—” The heel of Peter’s bloodstained Dr. Marten came down on the biggest rat he’s seen in his upstairs apartment in the Parish Hall. The bones crackled like television static under the sole, a sound and feeling that always caused an orgasm. This was by far the best one he ever had, and he had had several. One for each rat. But never had one caused him to curl into the fetal position, hot red fingers clutching the nape of his overcoat as he began to seize.
No, he never had this much attention. The amount had been more than human logic could possibly degrade and etch into a city-marked proclamation of adultery. He had laid more women than the forthcoming heritage of Ramses. Each of them had taken to his charm and melodic voice with ease, and when he offered them a grand evening of dining and ambient swooning, they had nearly died of oxygen deprivation.
Peter sat up after the orgasm had subsided and turned to the sound of a blatant knock at the door. He watched the door quake on its frame, knowing whoever stood on the other side hadn’t come for a social call. The knocking had become frequent during the course of time in which he had laid in a mass of blood splayed over his bed as if the rain outside had let go with the vitals of all living things both human and animal.
But he was aware, as he let his eyes know the interior of a pla
... keep reading on reddit ➡Do your worst!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
When I got home, they were still there.
