Phil
Sudden Lee
Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.
If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.
Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???
Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.
Thank you,
A Dad.
So far nobody has given me a straight answer
Because a toothbrush works better
I am currently in the hospital. I had a back operation yesterday. The surgical nurse came in my room and started asking questions about my back. She asked me if I had any falls during the last year. I responded just one. It was after summer.
She laughed and said in 20 years of doing this she never was told that joke.
Had to ground him until he could conduct himself properly.
Indian places are naan profit, Vietnamese places are pho profit.
..... Will get a reward.
Because they work on many levels
The Bushes
Well, toucan play at that game.
I want to talk about my father and the wonderful influence he has had on my life,' he told the audience. 'He is a shining example of parenthood, and I love him more than words could ever do justice.'
At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause, he looked up with a sly grin and said, 'Sorry, but it's really hard to read my father’s handwriting.'
Me : For starters, I bring a lot to the table
..and as big as the last two put together.
Argon does not react.
Windows
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
She said apple-lutely
I’d have $8.40
This happened a few years ago when my son was 6ish. When my kids hurt themselves and it doesn’t look serious I always do the “we might have to amputate that bruised hand” shtick with them. I’ve done it enough that they now roll their eyes.
So, my son got hit lightly in the face with a rubber ball. It wasn’t a hard hit and I could tell he was more upset by the shock of it rather than the pain. So I say “looks like we will have to amputate your nose.” To which he replies “then how will I smell?” And I say “terrible!”
It was my greatest dad joke ever. I felt like I could retire after that.
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.
I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.
When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."
From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"
Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.
Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
To get to the... Bottom...
(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)
Japan.
Hsiieh T'an studied singing under Ch'in Ching. Before he had fathomed Ch'in Ch'ing's art he thought he had no more to learn, so took his leave and set off home. Chin Ching raised no objection; but as he presented his farewell gift at the crossroads outside the town, he sang a sad air beating the time. The sound shook the trees in the forest, the echoes stilled the drifting clouds. Then Hsiieh Tan apologised and asked to be taken back, and for the rest of his life never dared to speak of going home.
Ch in Ching turned to a friend and said:
Once a woman named Erh of Han ran out of provisions while travelling East to Ch'i. She entered the capital through the Concord Gate, and traded her songs for a meal. When she left, the lingering notes curled round the beams of the gate and did not die away for three days; the by-standers thought that she was still there.
She passed an inn, where the landlord insulted her. She therefore wailed mournfully in long-drawn-out notes; and all the people in the quarter, old and young, looked at each other sadly with the tears dripping down their faces, and could not eat for three days. They hurried after her and brought her back; and again she sang them a long ballad in drawn-out notes. The people of the whole quarter, old and young, could not help skipping with joy and dancing to hand claps, forgetting that they had been sad just before. Afterwards they sent her away with rich presents.
That is why even today the people of Concord Gate are good singers and funeral wailers, taking as their example the memory of Erhs singing.'
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liezi
This posts translation:
A.C. Graham PDF
Other Translations:
Eva Wong GoodReads
Now, I'm living in a flat.
"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.
second hand stores!
it's Hans free now..
