Limones River Puns

Hey all! I leave in a few weeks for Puerto Viejo. Flying into San Jose arrive 12:45 Costa Rica time. Most shared shuttles latest departure is 2:00 or 2:30 and that’s gonna be cutting it really close with customs. So I’m left with private shuttle, car rental or MEPE bus. I’m a good driver but concerned with end of rainy season about running into closed roads and having a 5 hour trip turn into a 10 hour one on roads I’m completely unfamiliar with. Plus cars $500 dollars (I have insurance through credit card I checked)

Private shuttle is around $275 for one way and I wouldn’t have a car.

MEPE is just a pain to do but they leave at 4pm and should arrive around 9pm I assume? I did it once years ago to Santa Theresa and the trip took about me about 10ish hours. Is Uber still not allowed at SJO?

Mainly gonna surf and check out surrounding beaches while in PV before heading to Bocas Del Toro so a bicycle should work although I’m looking to do Cahuita park on day 1.

Guess I’m looking for advice from people who have done this or know.

Also-how hard is entry into Panama and then the long trip from BDT Panama back to Alajuela area?

Thanks!

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

150_Canonical Sentences

Am jixigi mi tem he ban malxey, or eger yu hare swal...

1. Who did it?

Kete le fale to?

2. Someone took it. I don't know who.

Bante le cudu to. Mi no jixi kute.

Nota: I don't know who took it would be Mi no jixi ki kute le cudu to.

3. What happened?

Keto le okur?

4. I did something bad.

Mi le fale ban bur to. or Mi le fale bur banto.

5. What is this?

Hinto sen keto?

6. This thing is small/big.

Hin xey sen lil/day.

7. They are good people.

Ete sen bon insan.

8. Many people don't know this.

Multi insan no jixi hinto.

9. Sometimes bad things happen to (good) people.

(Fe) duli mara, bur xey okur tas (bon) insan.

10. The body of a man is not like the body of a woman.

Jismu de manixu no sen (denpul) kom jismu de femixu.

11. The stomach is part of people's bodies, it is inside the body.

Mida sen mon de insan su jismu. To sen fe inya de jismu.

12. This thing has two parts.

Hin xey hare dua mon.

13. People's bodies have many parts.

Jismu de insan hare multi mon.

14. There are two/many kinds of yam.

Hay dua/multi tipo fe nyame.

15. It looks like the same kind (of fish). But it's not. It's another kind.

Te okocu (denpul/sim) kom sama tipo (fe mahi). Mas te no sen. Te sen alo tipo.

16. There is (only) one kind of fish in this lake.

Hay (sol) un tipo fe mahi in hin hosu.

17. This is good/bad.

Hinto sen bon/bur.

18. This is a big/small basket.

Hinto sen day/lil basketo.

19. I saw these two people; all these people.

Mi le oko hin dua insan; hin moy insan.

20. I saw the same person the day after.

Mi le oko sama insan (fe) jaxali din.

21. It happened at the same place/time, not at another place/time.To le okur in sama loka (fe sama watu), no in alo loka (fe alo watu).

or

To le okur samaloka/samawatu, no aloloka/alowatu.

22. She did/said the same (thing).

Te le fale/loga sama to.

23. Someone else did it.

Ban alote (or Alo bante) le fale to.

24. How many children does she have?

Te hare kenumer bete?

25. She has one child.

Te hare un bete.

26. How much water is there (in the bowl)?

Hay kekwanti sui (in pyale)?

27. There is much (little, very little) water here.

Hay multi (xosu, daymo xosu) sui hinloka.

28. Many people live here.

Multi insan ogar hinloka.

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Mathematical puns makes me number

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

He lost May

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

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Songrica - Sour Diesel (https://terpstreet.com/strain/songrica/) Sunva - Sour Tangie - Tangie x East Coast Sour Diesel (https://terpstreet.com/strain/sunva/) Taytenate - East Coast Sour Diesel x Tangerine Haze (https://terpstreet.com/strain/taytenate/) Vinziva - Triangle Kush x Haze (https://terpstreet.com/strain/vinziva/) Xinva - Colorado Flo x ACDC x Purple YMCA x Agent Orange (https://terpstreet.com/strain/xinva/) Zainavir - Pineapple Fields (https://terpstreet.com/strain/zainavir/) HYBRID Akenocet - Tangerine Haze x Tahoe Alien (https://terpstreet.com/strain/akenocet/) Daybrid - Golden Girls - Girl Scout Cookies x Colombian Gold (https://terpstreet.com/strain/daybrid/) Dogbrid - Dog Mountain - Chem 4 x Skwurkiller (https://terpstreet.com/strain/dogbrid/) Egbrid - Early Glue - Original Glue x Black Fire F1 (https://terpstreet.com/strain/egbrid/) Elioraca - Grape Stomper x Tahoe Alien (https://terpstreet.com/strain/elioraca/) Eloralix - Mob Boss x Chemdawg (https://terpstreet.com/strain/eloralix/) Fedalgo - Flo x Chemdawg (https://terpstreet.com/strain/fedalgo/) Gwyniva - AJ's Sour Diesel x The White (https://terpstreet.com/strain/gwyniva/) Knobri

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

Put it on my bill

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?