What's blue and doesn't weigh much?

Light blue

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Do black and white count as colors?

It's a gray area.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Who_GNU
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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I showed my girlfriend my multi-color smart lights, and she asked if I can make them blacklights.

I replied, "Sure can! Okay Google, turn off the lights."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/overkillsd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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In a one story house the walls are blue, the chairs are blue, the floor is blue, the lights are blue, the living room is blue, the bedrooms are blue, the kitchen is blue, even the air has a blueish tint. What color are the stairs?

The house is ONE STORY it has no stairs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RICK-THE-STICk3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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Where do naughty rainbows go?

Prism

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TaterRae94
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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What do you call a person of colour?

A 'hue' man.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amiahcaraveo1998
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2017
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There is a theory that no two people see a colour the exact same way ipfs.pics/QmZbKhZGWtorqCM…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yousosweg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2015
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My dad likes to bust this one out every Christmas.

...Usually when we're decorating the tree or house.

ME: "Will you hand me that strand of colored lights?"

DAD: "Son, we don't call them that any more."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/john_rage
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2014
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My dad got a ticket driving home

Dad: "You'll never believe what happened to me today driving home!"

Me: "What?"

Dad: "Well, I was driving down a back road home from work. It was such a beautiful day. The sun was still shining, a slight breeze was rustling the trees, and all the leaves had changed colors. Yellow, orange, red... just a gorgeous view. I was doing about 55, not a car in sight, when I come around a bend and see a cop car parked on the side of the road. I slowed down, but tried not to slow down so quickly that it would be obvious. I carefully drove up past the cop, being extra careful to stay centered within the lines and maintaining my lower speed. It looked like I was all clear, but then from out of nowhere a turkey jumped out in front of my car! I didn't even have a chance to brake!"

Me: "Jeez that's crazy!"

Dad: "I know! It hit the front of my car, rolled up over the windshield and did a somersault before landing directly onto the hood of the officer's car. He immediately turned on his lights and pulled me over and gave me a ticket."

Me: "What?? But that's not your fault! It was the turkey! What did he even give you a ticket for?"

Dad: "He gave me a ticket for flipping him the bird. Hahahaha!"

Me: -___-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoopaSte123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2013
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My Boss is a Dad

Today my boss, who is white, was talking to our book keeper tell her that he was going home for the dad because he is feeling sick. The book keeper told him yeah you look bad you have no color in your face. With lighting fast dad reflexes he quiped, "that's be cause you're looking at these guys all day"

Me and my coworker are both black and groaned appropriately.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dinobones1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2014
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Happy Holidays Edition

I was over at a friend's house a couple of weeks ago when his dad stopped by. I've had this friend for twenty years, and his father knew me since I was a wee lad. All of the Christmas decorations are strewn through the neighborhood, including my friends neighbors house whose yard is filled with these 4 foot tall wrapped Christmas gifts adorned with colorful lights. My friend's dad looked out the window and saw the boxes. "Say, your neighbors left some pretty big presents out in the yard." My friend replies, "You should take 'em, save money on your. Christmas shopping." His dad instantly says, "They might be too big to fit in my car. Although, they do look pretty...light."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Murmur322
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2013
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Where do naughty rainbows go?

Prism

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Orgelkonzert
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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