Life Time Puns

But that sort of thing stick in your mind.

So today, I had a conversation with my friend while walking home from school. At one point my lace untied and he pointed that out to me while we were walking past a 7eleven. I am horrible at making puns so forgive me. I shall call him J

J: You u should tie up your shoes

Me(pointing to the lays packet in the store): I can't be bothered tying my shoe-lays

J: You should stop spread them all around the "play-se" (place)

Me: Well maybe you should stop lay-zing around and actually study(he couldn't reply to that cuz all he does is lay-ing around aimlessly. Haha! See what I did there!)

Conversation deviates

Me: come follow me to Cheers let's look for a giftcard

J: nah

Me: get your lay-z ass over to cheers u ungrateful bitch! u make my life lays miserables

Go outside and ride your bike

That took a lot of balls.

Oops, wrong sub

The doctor says it’ll be a few weeks until I can use my ankle again.

Hmm...my racehorses really do have some strange names.

Me? I have no rugrats.

They were Goodyear’s

I said “no mom! Where there’s a wheel, there’s a way!”

That shit was nuts!

He can’t seem to deal with the aftermath.

I have other things to do during the day.

Well you should, it's Remember Antz Day

Your fingers

At first I wasn't sure whether I liked the beard, but it's growing on me.

and I said I DON'T LIKE CHANGE, MOM

Is an explanation really necessary for this?

First grade, I'm in the school play because, well, every one was. I can sing, always have been pretty good at it, so they gave me the job of playing Sebastian in our Little Mermaid rendition. We're singing "Under the Sea" and I look out to the audience to see my dad, in the front row, making the biggest, puffiest fish face his head will physically allow. I haven't done much acting since then.

Me: I'm hungry.

Dad: Nice to meet ya hungry, I'm Jack.

The doctor says it’ll be a few weeks before I can use my ankle again.