I work in a nursing home. A diabetic schizophrenic I always give sugar free life savers to just said, "You haven't brought me any damn candy all day!" I replied, " I just got here, you need to be patient."

She said,"I am a damn patient!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ugadrugdawg
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
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What do you call it when you propose with a life saver mint

Commit-mint

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πŸ‘€︎ u/John_r628
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
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I bought my dad some Life Savers for his halitosis

He said he wasn't going to use them, so they would stay in mint condition

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesometoenails
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
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A car cruising down a rural country suddenly backfires.

As the engine sputters and shuts down the woman driving the car steers toward a nearby driveway and honks the horn hoping to get the attention of a guy herding cattle in the distance. Sure enough within a minute the man has ridden his horse over to her. He dismounts and gives a happy β€œHello! Sounds like you’re having some car trouble. Can I help at all?” The woman replies that she’s not sure what happened but that she would love some help. They pop the hood and the man says he thinks he can fix the problem but has to run back to his barn to get some tools. The cows have come to see what’s going on and as the farmer gets ready to leave he says β€œDon’t worry about your car. I’ll have it running in a few minutes. Just head over there to the shade of the tree by the fence. The cows are all friendly. Bessy there likes to have her ear rubbed, Albert likes to look at people, and Mare will just moo a grand ole tune.” All of it is true and within 20 minutes the woman is happily sitting in her car with the engine running better than before. β€œThank you so much, you’re a life saver,” she says. The man smiles and lets out a big laugh before saying β€œI’m glad I could help. But I’m no life saver. I’m just a jolly rancher.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/foyeldagain
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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What did one mint say to the other mint after it saved him from being eaten?

Wow, you're a life-saver."

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2017
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