Au gasit apa lichida pe marte
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Velendro
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2018
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VREAU CA EU SI CETATENII ACESTEI TARI SA PROSPERE, VREAU DEMOCRATIE LICHIDA

Da stiu, politica, dar chiar traiesti asa bine incat nu vrei sa iti fie mai bine? Chiar vrei sa pleci din tara ta?Informare:Ca tara, Romania este pe:

-locul 50 in ceea ce priveste PIB-ul.

-locul 59 PIB pe cap te locuitor (scadere de 9 locuri)

Republica Ceha este pe

-locul 49 PIB si

-locul 39 PIB pe locuitor(crestere de 10 locuri)

*diferenta de 20 de locuri intre PIB pe cap de locuitor se transmite in bunastarea si proesperitatea oamenior din Cehia

*unde se duce diferenta de +10 locuri in Cehia? catre populatia

*unde se duce diferenta de -10 locuri in Romania? catre Dragnea,Guvern,Coruptie

Cand vine vorba de indexul fericirii populatiei

-Cehia este pe locul 21

-Romania? pe 52

Ce ziceti? mai vreti sa fiti umiliti?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Happiness_Report

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_population_(United_Nations)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_GDP_(nominal)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_GDP_(nominal)_per_capita

Si care ar fi solutia?Simplu, introducem o democratie lichida cand vine vorba de parlament si de alegerile electorale. Exemplu, votezi cu Dragnea si altii voteaza cu Dragnea? votezi cu USR? votezi cu PNL? dar nu iti palce ca te-au mintit in campanie si iti scad salariile si iti maresc preturile? voteaza in orasul tau proiecte inutile fara dezbatere cu populatia? nu este problema le poti reevoca reprezentarea ta in guvern sau in primarie.

PSD 10 voturiUSR 3 voturiPNL 5 voturi

Altii 2 voturicetateni 0 voturiToti vor sa voteze ca ei sa inceapa un proiect inutil in orasul tau cum ar fi o renovare a bordurilor proaspat puse?

Multi cetateni le anuleaza voturile reprezentative si voteaza singuri individuali.PSD 4 votanti proUSR 2 voturi proPNL 2 voturi proAltii 1 vot procetatenii 6+1+3+1 = 11 voturi impotrivaPartidele 9 voturi pro

drept urmare proiectul nu va incepe si nu se va cheltui banul public aiurea. drep urmare partidele vor trebui sa faca campanii mai competente, cu promisiuni care se vor realiza, si populatia va fi mai informata cand vine vorba de banii lor cheltuiti in institutiile publice, drep urmare mai multa transparenta si mai multa eficienta.

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Silverfoxcrest
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anywhereiroa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic.

The nurse asked the rabbit, β€œwhat is your blood type?”

β€œI am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snc8698
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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What's the opposite of lady fingers?

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GamerJoe85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2022
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I’ve got this disease where I can’t stop making airport puns.

The doctor says it terminal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xIR0NPULSE
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2022
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Just because it's a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CzarcasmRules
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leckzsluthor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
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I heard that by law you have to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden.

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justshtmypnts
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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Puns make me numb

Mathematical puns makes me number

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tadashi4
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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So my mom is getting her foot cut off today.. (really)

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slimybirch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2022
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Petition to ban rants from this sub

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drak0ni
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2022
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.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SupremePalash
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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French fries weren’t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frexyincdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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Why does Spider-Man's calendar only have 11 months?

He lost May

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toku-Nation
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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When I was a single man, I had loads of free time.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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You've been hit by
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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Girlfriend got me good. Never been more proud of her.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mannheimd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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My 4 year oldest favourit joke, which he very proudly memorized and told all his teachers.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diggitygiggitycee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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As a doctor, I have never made a joke about unvaccinated babies before.

But let me give it a shot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2022
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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A coworker named Celcius recently retired from my company, so they hired a guy called Kelvin to replace him.

He’s the new temp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SolicitedTitPics
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2022
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My wife left me because I couldn’t stop doing impressions of pasta

And now I’m cannelloni

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluestratmatt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eoussama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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Steve JOBS would have made a better President than Donald Trump

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok-Ingenuity4838
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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Argument at family dinner...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottPowell567
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2022
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I just flew in from Chernobyl

And boy are my arms legs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JhopkinsWA
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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What do you call a woman who’s really good at darts?

Amy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cinema_King
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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My 7 year old daughter just told me this one. I'm so proud. What did the duck say when he bought chapstick?

Put it on my bill

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigRedHusker_X
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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No gains
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ridi86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarf_spheal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
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How eggs-traordinary
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rix27_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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Duckduckgo
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πŸ‘€︎ u/findmebatman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2022
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What is the scariest tree?

BamBOO!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toby-the-Cactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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Geometry sucks
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kash30
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary?

A play on words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ah1887
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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A queen size statement.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flight-less
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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Orion's belt
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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Did you know all dogs are made up of only 3 elements?

Calcium, nickel, neon

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redneckvet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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Geddit? No? Only me?
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampy311
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
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My son, Luke, loves how I named our kids after Star Wars characters...

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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