My wife won’t let me get a tattoo of a grizzly on each bicep.
She is infringing on my right to bear arms.
Let me tell you what I know about dwarves
Let me give you a bit of advice....
I just had a new wash basin delivered to our house for our guest bathroom, but my wife decided that she hates the design so much she won't even let me bring it in off the porch. It has been sitting by our front door for a week, A ENTIRE WEEK.
During breakfast, my dad said, “Let me sum up 2020 in one word.”
guess what my dad won’t let me put on my car?
dammit, I’m not even allowed to mark this post as a spoiler
My wife got mad after I tried to convince her that she'd agreed to let me buy a neon sign.
I guess she doesn't like gas lighting.
Let me try uncle gravity next
I was really moved when I realized my mother let me win at cards.
It meant a great deal to me.
I asked Rick Astley to let me borrow his copy of the movie UP.
He said he'd never give it to me.
I got arrested for dumping ice under the overpass last night. I thought they would have let me go this morning.
Surely it's just water under the bridge by now?
If anyone is alone this Christmas and has nobody to spend it with, please let me know..
I really need to borrow some chairs.
I found some insects living in my apartment, but they offered me cash if I let them stay.
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo
When the Mrs. could tell I was in the mood, she immediately let me know that tonight wasn’t going to happen.
She said: “Not tonight. Period.”
Can You Let Me Out? I Need Teepee
Like a good Grandpa I share with my 12 yr old Grandson the amazement of r/dadjokes regularly. He thinks you all are totally cool. I told him there is much power here. How? He asked. Let me demonstrate... With the diahrrea song.. I'll start.
Some people think it's gross but it's really good on toast. Diahrrea...
So let me get this straight...
A family was out hunting and the mother said it was time to go. The father replied, I’ll be right there, let me just...
My dad says to me,"Hey,let's go fishing! We'll take the canoe."
I told him,"It's actually pronounced"gnu."The "g" is silent!
Can You Let Me Out? I Need Teepee
I can't think of a title, let me sleep on it.
"Let me get this straight, you want me to write a kids song about a dog with a funny "name-o"
I was Ghana make a pun about countries but let me Czech if I can. I hope you Dubai sometime
Let me give you some background here...
let me tell you the twitter handle of a horror company out of this world
@mustfear
edit : thisnisna dad joke. not intended as an actual twitter handle search.
I ran out of laundry detergent today. I didn't let it get me down.
I realized it was just the start of a whole new Era.
Let me tell you how I got so good at making pictures of cash....
I made many many many many many money drawings.
My friends never let me borrow money for arcade games at the roller rink
Dad never let me learn about the 25th letter of the Alphabet.
Let me tell a joke about Sodium
A cop left a nice note on my windshield to let me know I'd parked my car correctly...
I tried to get my Swiss army knife through customs but they would not let me through.
That's what I get for bringing a 4-in-1.
When I used beef stew as my password, my account wouldn’t let me.
Apparently it’s not stronganoff.
Why does my cancer doctor let me phone her any time day or night?
Because she's an on-call-ogist
They let me name the paper shredder at work! Let me introduce you to Shreddie Mercury!!
Let me begin by telling you a little bit about myself..
It's a reflexive pronoun that means 'me'...
Here, let me spell it out for you
Let's keep this between you and me...
Let me give you my exact location. I am
The S/O let me know we’d made 4 cents in our mutual account...
Darlings you got to let me know. Should I shave or should I grow? If I shave there could be stubble, and if I grow it could be double. So c’mon and let me know ohhhh..
Let me tell you a dad joke
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