Happy Ho.idays to friends and .oved ones c.ose and far. B.essings to you and yours this Yu.e season.
(This is my No-L greeting.)
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︎ Dec 10 2020
My daughter: dad, what key is the national anthem in?
Me: I think it's in...... Francis Scott key.
True story
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︎ Jun 13 2021
Itβs all in the name
Thereβs some really nice girls in my sons class; Denice, Janice, Olive Yu. So I figured a name is a powerful motivator. Meet my newest kid: Richy Mc Richer(Son)
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︎ May 31 2021
Who's Yu?
People always tell me to fuck him
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︎ Nov 23 2019
What do you call Sir Francis Drake's circumnavigation of the Earth?
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︎ Feb 07 2020
TIL: During the Ming dynasty, there were two princes Hu and Yu ready to take over the throne. Hu was older, but a unlucky man.
Hu died and made Yu king.
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︎ May 26 2018
I changed my religion to follow the teachings of St. Francis, my dad was not pleased
He said 'no son of mine is going to be assisi!'
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︎ Jul 13 2019
I'd ask for assistance from St. Francis...
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︎ Feb 04 2019
Just finished reading a book on Channel swimming.
It was written by Francis Near.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
I always take a first date out to a French restaurant. Girls love eating somewhere francy.
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︎ Dec 03 2018
I donβt know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
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︎ Oct 21 2017
How many ears did Sir Francis Drake have?
Loads. A left ear, a right ear and a ship full of privateers.
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︎ Aug 12 2017
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︎ Apr 03 2017
How did Chinese-American business man Robert Nigel Yu get free money from the bank?
When the teller asked for his name he said, "I am Rob N. Yu."
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︎ May 17 2017
My Wife lost the race to Sister Mary Francis
Apparently, she was second to nun.
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︎ Jan 16 2018
I knew this girl named Val Yu...
She worked at Walmart, it was great.
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︎ Jan 19 2017
Who is the patron saint of copying people in emails?
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︎ Jul 10 2020
My wife and I are considering adoption.
We just need to figure out where to sign our kids up.
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︎ Apr 10 2020
The St. Francis statue in my mom's garden fell over and is lying on its side.
Now he's St. Francis of Asleepy.
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︎ Feb 21 2017
I was surprised to learn my family had never heard of the patron Saint of e-mails
So I had to tell them about Saint Francis of A CC
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︎ Sep 27 2020
I'm putting an addition on my roof.
It's a little room where I can sit and watch movies like The Godfather and Apocalypse Now.
It's a Francis Ford Cupola.
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︎ Sep 02 2020
I didnβt know why the baseball was getting bigger.
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︎ Apr 30 2019
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︎ Sep 20 2019
Mountains aren't just funny
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︎ Oct 11 2016
I don't want to sound raceist but...
I've always preferred the 100m to the 200m
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︎ Sep 25 2016
I just hired an Asian lawer...
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︎ Oct 03 2019
Edgar Allan Po' Boy
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︎ Mar 12 2015
This is just a list of 50 famous people but if they were birds.
- George Washwington
- Leonarcrow da Vinci
- Eagle Allen Poe
- Harry S. Toucan
- Teddy Dodosevelt
- Charles Duckens
- Octavian Owlgustus
- Flysaac Newton
- Benchicken Franklin
- Gullysses S. Grant
- Vincent Van Goose
- John Lhawk
- Charlecrane
- Pengthoven
- Nikquaila Tesla
- Jean-Jacques Roostsseau
- Charles Darwren
- Rheasus Christ
- Broodha
- King Loony XIV
- Nenepoleon Bonaparte
- Mahootma Gandhi
- Winstint Churchill
- Genghis Swan
- Pladove
- Aleggsander the Great
- Paul the Apostail
- Lark Twain
- Dante Aliturkey
- Michelangswallow
- Cardinal Marx
- Albatross Lincoln
- Robin E. Lee
- Adolf Swiftler
- Alextanager Hamilton
- Ibis Presley
- Ronald Raven
- Arnestotle
- Emuhammad
- Sir Francis Beakon
- Tchaikovskylark
- Christfowler Columbus
- Finchard Nixon
- Henry VIII
- Albert Einstork
- Thomas Jayfferson
- William Shrikespeare
- Woodcock Wilson
- King Chorioles I of England
- Johann Sebastian Flock
Edit: formatting
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︎ Sep 21 2014
Who does Fergie think wrote the Star-Spangled Banner?
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︎ Feb 21 2018
What did the Japanese street fighter say when he met the American?
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︎ Nov 30 2018
Learn Chinese in 5 min
LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
(You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)...
- Thats not right........ Sum Ting Wong
- Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
- See me ASAP............. Kum Hia Nao
- Stupid Man...................... Dum Fuk
- Small horse... Tai Ni Po Ni
- Did you go to the beach?... Wai Yu So Tan
- I bumped in to a coffee table... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
- I think you need a face lift... Chin Tu Fat
- It's very dark in here... Wao So Dim
- I thought you were on a diet... Wai Yu Mun Ching
- This is a tow away zone... No Pah King
- staying out of sight... Lei Ying Lo
- He's cleaning his automobile... Wa Shing Ka
- Your body odor is offensive... Yu Stin Ki Pu
- Great... Fa Kin Su Pah
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︎ Sep 18 2018
Can you perform a spinning dragon uppercut
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︎ Aug 09 2018
Dad joke straight outta compton
My buddies and I have a group chat going. One guy mentions how he downloaded Dillon Francis' new album and how shared it with us on Facebook. I asked him if he had Dr. Dre's new album so I could get it, but he said he forgot to look it up.
Another dude in the chat says, "so you forgot about Dre?"
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︎ Aug 14 2015
I really like The Godfather and The Godfather 2.
Francis Ford made a Coppola great movies..
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︎ Dec 31 2015
My friend has a bad habit of calling things gay. For whatever reason France came up, and he said France is Gay.
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︎ May 06 2015
My wife couldn't make up her mind
Me: Of all the Yu's in China I'm sure there's no one called Pleezing
Her: What do you mean?
Me: There is no pleasing you
*Cue sarcastic moaning
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︎ May 11 2014
I am guilty of most of these.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjl1-UW4sYU
I assume this is relevant.
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︎ Sep 07 2013
Who is the patron saint of email?
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︎ Aug 28 2020
Who is the patron saint of copying people into emails?
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︎ Mar 21 2019
Who is the Patron Saint of copying people into emails?
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︎ Mar 19 2019
Who is the patron saint of emails?
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︎ Sep 19 2018
Who is the patron saint of email?
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︎ Nov 02 2016
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