A right winger, a left winger and Dad were taking a walk. "Life begins at conception!" say the right winger. "Life begins at birth!" says the left winger. Dad says "You are both wrong, life begins...."
"...when the kids move out and the dog dies."
Girls have 4 knees and boys have 5 knees. Girls have a right knee, a left knee and two kid-knees. Boys have a right knee, a left knee, two kid-knees and a
did you know that Mr Spock from Star Treck had 3 ears? A left ear,A right ear and......
My wife broke up with me because I couldnt tell my left from my right.
So I packed my stuff and right.
If I have oranges in my left hand and five oranges in my right, what have I got?
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
How do you differentiate left and right sides on a pizza?
It's all right because nothing is left of the pizza!
Stupid joke I made up on a different sub! 😅
The left-hand side of the sheep grows white wool. The right-hand side of the sheep grows black wool.
Which side of the sheep grows the most wool?
>!The outside.!<
A left wing person was bitten by a right wing werewolf.
They turned into a Republycan.
He left this comment on Twitter that is totally right.
What did the right leg say to the left?
"Don't talk to the one in the middle. He's a dick!"
No right turn please....Or left.
What did the left eye say to the right eye when they got married?
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
Women have 2 knees, right and left. Men have 3…
Right knee, left knee, and a weenie
Left eye says to right eye
Left eye says to right eye: You and I never see eye to eye.
Right eye: True, it's like there's always a bridge between us.
(hopefully) Original dadjoke. Tested on my 20 year old daughter 😁
If you have five cans of beer in your left hand and six cans of beer in your right hand, what do you have?
A patient was in the hospital to have his left leg amputated, and the surgeon removed his right leg by mistake. He then, of course, still had to amputate the left leg. The patient sued the hospital & LOST.
The judge said he didn't have a leg to stand on.
My wife kept giving me Twix and tells me to guess right or left twix so far I’m 300-300 she wants to know how
I told her because the left one don’t taste right
I just said this to my two year old. If you put your left and right shoes on correctly…
Politicians left and right are dying from the virus.
I don’t really mind sitting on the left or right of a rowing boat.
Im a millionaire and my church collects money on Sunday's from members. Now I'm sitting on the far left and place my bag to my right. Now the usher comes up to me with the money bag. What did I tell them?
"Sorry, but I don't have any money left."
I asked my wife: Do you use left or right hand to wipe your butt?
She said: Right hand of course!
I said that I use toilet paper.
My dad always reminds me on how to remember where left and right is.
Left is where your thumb is right.
Right is where your thumb is left.
What did the right lung say to the left lung?
In Soviet union you were not allowed to write with your left hand. That isn't right!
I put my left ear next to one of those fancy wind funnel fans, and I actually could feel a little air coming out of my right ear.
Research shows that left handed people waste more food than right handed people
Otherwise, rightovers would be a word.
My alt-left and alt-right friends needed some space between them.
"Confucius Says...War doesn't determine who is right. War determines who is left."
Spock has three pointy ears: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear. What does Scotty have?
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
“Between you and me, something smells.”
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells
What did the left eye say to the right eye ?
Between you and me, something smells.
Americans have three ears: the left ear, the right ear...
What did the right eye say to the left eye...
Where is the middle eye ?
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me something smells..
Fun fact: if right is wrong, then left is right. But then either right is right or left is wrong. And in that case both would be true so then both left and right are right and wrong.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
If you cut off your left hand, your right hand will be left.
The right eye said to the left eye
Between you and me, something smells
Is it left or is ir right?
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me something smells
What did the left eye say to the right?
Just between you and me,
something smells.
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