Two guys were arguing. One of them had only a left hand and one had only a right hand.
After a while, the left handed guy realized that the other guy was right, so he left.
2 parts to a brain...The left side and a right side.
On the left side, there's nothing right.
On the right side, there's nothing left.
I was teaching my 12 year old daughter how to mow the lawn. “You need to pick either up and down or right and left, and then stick to it,” I told her. “Do you mow the whole yard in one direction.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because that’s what makes it beautiful.”
Oh, the eye roll on this kid.
The baby sheep got out of their pen and I impulsively grabbed a sheep with my right hand and a sheep with my left...
I guess I'm just lambidextrous...
I'll show y'all to the door.
My cousin got into a car accident and lost his entire left side, he kept saying he was all right but I didnt believe him so he just kept yelling at me.
'Stuff was completely one-sided
Son: Dad, why is it called Right and Left?
Dad: Well son, back when I was a boy your Right hand was the right one to use, and if you didn't then your Left hand was the only one left.
My alt-left and alt-right friends needed some space between them.
I’m debating whether to write “YES” on my left hand and “NO” on my right hand.
I mean, on the one hand, yes, but on the other hand, no.
What do you have if you have a snowball in your right and a snowball in your left hand?
Frosty's full and undivided attention!
You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right side, is a sharp drop off and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse, but your horse is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get off the merry-go-round!
If right is left and up is down..
Go to options and change your controller settings
Son: “Dad, are you alright?” Dad: “No, I’m half left and half right.” Happy Father's day!
Have you heard about the guy who lost his left arm and leg? It's ok, he's all right now.
Just witnessed a septic cleaning truck use the left lane for a right turn, using no signal, and then proceeded to drive 10 miles under the speed limit...
Turns out he was a shit driver..
and If she cuts her left hand her right hand is left...
Why do men wear their watches on the left and women wear it on the right?
I lost my left foot and my right foot
I'm stumped as to why I'm feeling so defeated....I still have a leg to stand on but a little short on enthusiasm.
"Doctor, when I drink coffee there's a pain in my left eye and when I drink tea there's a pain in my right eye."
Dr: "Have you tried taking the spoon out of the mug?"
You know what supports women left and right?
The Red House is 4th from the left, and the Blue House is 8th from the right. Where's the White House?
A left wing and right wing go to a bar....
Flap flap flap I'm a bird.
What do you have if you have 3 oranges and 4 apples in your left hand and 4 oranges and 3 apples in your right hand?
My speech professor gives dad jokes left and right
>What is a paraphrase?
^two ^phrases^hahaha
You have 2 parts to a brain...Left and Right...
In the left side, there's nothing right and in the right side, there's nothing left.
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