My wife said she was leaving me because, “I can’t do anything right when it comes to housework.” Selfish woman...
...it took me hours to mop that carpet.
What do you call leaving the Vietnam war with a new wife?
My wife said I should put the mask on if I'm leaving the house - and so I always do.
But my dog has to be so sick of that stupid movie by now.
What do you call a Mexican man leaving the hospital?
What do you call it when you slap hands with someone as you’re leaving?
What do you call a Spanish guy leaving a hospital?
What do you call some one interested in leaving?
What do you call a Chinese person leaving and entering a room?
What do you call a doll that is leaving the other dolls?
If all you do is pray for one outcome, are you leaving it up to chants?
What do you call an Irishman you can leave outside all night in the rain?
Paddy O'Furniture!
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
What do you say to The President Of The United States when he leaves abruptly?
How do you call a princess who leaves you on read?
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
What do you call a tree that has feathers instead of leaves?
Where do space explorers leave their spacecraft?
What do you call an Arby's cook who leaves to work for McDonald's?
How do chickens with acne leave a building?
They go through the eggzit
What do copper bars say when they leave?
What do you call a young adult who can’t leave her house due to a pandemic?
What do you say when anxious ideas won't leave you alone?
Where do you leave your dog?
Why do the British leave out the ‘t’ in ‘bottle’?
Wow hi I've met my people on this subreddit
No matter what I do I can't get these pests to leave my house...
What do meth heads leave on your voicemail?
Trump and Pence were preparing to leave the Whitehouse for a big rally. When the helicopter arrived, Trump wasn't ready yet, so Pence asked: "Do you want me to wait for you Mr. President?" ...
"No Mike, you fly on ahead and I'll catch up later".
Do you know why monks never leave a party?
They’re always thinking “NahImmaStay”
What do people who like to annoy grammar snobs call it when you leave the Great Lakes unprotected?
Why do boats never go to sleep after they leave the dock?
Because they leave a wake.
What do you call a person in D.C. that never leaves the first floor of a building?
When getting ready to leave the restaurant, our hot waitress noticed by leftovers and asked: “do you wanna box for that?”
I said: “I’d rather wrestle for it”.
What do two people have when they both like to boil leaves in water, add milk, and put it into the freezer?
Daddy, why do they call your leave a furlong?
Because sweety it's not furshort.
What do you call a car that’s covered in leaves?
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs lying on a pile of leaves?
Every time someone leaves and tells me they're gonna go jump in the shower I feel like I'm doing something wrong.
...but what time do you *leave* the dentist's?
What do you call Batman when he leaves church?
What do you say to a C atom that leaves its molecular bond?
if someone leaves you some designer clothes in their will, do they count as dead giveaways?
How do hens leave the hen house?
How do you leave an idiot in suspense?
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?
Russell
Edit: correct name spelling
What do you call a princess who leaves you on read?
What do you call a car that's covered in leaves?
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?
What do you call Batman when he leaves church?
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