Late For Work Puns

A list of puns related to "Late For Work"

I sat on the toilet, angry, exhausted, and late for work.

I said to myself, “I don’t have time for this shit.”

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Feb 10 2021
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My co-worker Nicholas is rarely late for work meetings, but it often shows up within 2 minutes of the meeting start time

I guess he likes to show up in the nick of time.

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👤︎ u/sarcasticpremed
📅︎ Sep 07 2020
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Why was the broom late for work?

It overswept.

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👤︎ u/RobertT1222
📅︎ Jul 11 2020
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I was running late for work today...

...next time, I'll remember to drive!

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👤︎ u/asianwaste
📅︎ Jun 17 2020
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What do you tell yourself when you wake up with fever and realize you are late for work?

Self, I so late.

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👤︎ u/boogerknows
📅︎ Mar 20 2020
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The boss asked me why I was so late for work.

" I spilled some glue all over my hands and my autobiography I was reading. That's why I was so late this morning." I replied.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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👤︎ u/Mudman1969
📅︎ Nov 10 2019
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I was running late for work yesterday so I called the bus company to ask if my bus was running on time?

The lady on the other end laughed at me and said "Dear... We don't operate a fleet of DeLoreans! All of our buses run on Diesel..."

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👤︎ u/evmotion
📅︎ Sep 13 2019
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Why was the mathematician late for work?

He took the rhombus

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👤︎ u/Joe_Ferro_890823
📅︎ Jul 12 2018
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After arriving 1 hour late to picking my wife from work for the third time this week she said “I’ve had it, I’ve lost all of my patients!” And I said “you know what?...

Maybe you should be a better doctor”

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👤︎ u/aexolthum
📅︎ Sep 23 2018
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My wife was late for work and asked me to call her a cab...

I said "You're a cab", sent her stepfather into a laugh attack, and got the best "I'll kill you in your sleep"-Look I could've hoped for. And yes, I am a dad 3 times over.

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👤︎ u/Evilch33z
📅︎ Jan 28 2014
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Dad woke up late for work.

Dad hurrying to get ready Me: So I guess you are rushin' huh dad? Dad: No son, Im still Irish.

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👤︎ u/skankedout
📅︎ Sep 29 2013
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My SO was late for work

SO: Where are my keys? Me: My keys what? SO: What? Have you seen my keys? Me: Who's Mikey?

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👤︎ u/T-BoneRake
📅︎ Feb 05 2017
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Why was the frog late for work?

Because there was toad work ahead.

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👤︎ u/othernamesweretaken1
📅︎ Aug 13 2016
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I was running late for work today, so my Dad packed my lunch.

http://i.imgur.com/JIMaWrk.jpg

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👤︎ u/RayWonder
📅︎ Apr 10 2015
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I was sitting on the toilet, angry, and late for work.

I thought, “I don’t have time for this shit.”

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👤︎ u/the_houser
📅︎ Nov 08 2020
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I was sitting on the toilet, angry, and late for work.

I thought, “I don’t have time for this shit.”

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Sep 19 2020
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As I sat on the toilet late for work I thought..

I dont think have time for this shit

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👤︎ u/aillemac433
📅︎ Oct 18 2020
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Why was the broom late for work

He overswept

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👤︎ u/CoupleNovices
📅︎ Jun 16 2020
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Why was the broom late for work?

He over swept.

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👤︎ u/thats_weird_af
📅︎ Jul 18 2020
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I was on the toilet, angry, and late for work.

I thought, “I don’t have time for this shit.”

👍︎ 6k
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ May 21 2018
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Why was the broom late for work?

He over swept

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👤︎ u/fava18
📅︎ Oct 19 2019
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Why was the broom late for work?

Because he over swept.

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👤︎ u/GrayingMantis
📅︎ Aug 06 2018
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Why was the broom late for work?

It over swept.

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👤︎ u/RageMonster17
📅︎ Dec 12 2018
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Why was broom late for work?

It over-swept

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👤︎ u/barwhalis
📅︎ Sep 13 2018
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I was sitting on the toilet, angry and late for work this morning

I thought to myself “I don’t have time for this shit”

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👤︎ u/buckeyespud
📅︎ Jun 18 2018
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Why was the mathematician late for work?

He took the rhombus!

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👤︎ u/g0dfarter
📅︎ Sep 16 2017
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