Well that didn't cross my mind
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"
What to do when a black cat crosses your path...
I've invented a method of playing naughts and crosses with my feet.
Why did the dad joke cross the road?
To get to the other sigh.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Because he chickened out.
I meant to cross post it but I don’t know why I cannot cross post so here is the screenshot version
Why didn’t ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
What did the Mama bear say to her cub when he was crossing the road to get to his School?
“Bison!!!”
~Was shocked to speechlessness when my 5 year old kid said this with a straight face. And this happened when I was trying very hard to teach him the right format of a knock-knock joke. I was stumped for about a minute as he combined a chicken-cross-the-road with a wordplay. Laughed so hard after that - until my wife had to use a pan on my head to stop us both.
I wish Covid-19 had started in Las Vegas.
Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
What do you get when you cross Billy Idol with a spider?
A nice day for a white webbing.
Why did the cross eyed teacher get fired?
He couldn't control his pupils.
I watched a chicken cross the road
it was poultry in motion...
Why did the chicken cross the road to the Chinese grocery?
To get some bok bok bok choy!
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
What do you get when you cross an angry sheep and a angry cow?
You get two animals in a baaaaaaaaaaad mooooooooooood.
What happens when you cross a cat and a cow?
They revoke your veterinary license.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the... Bottom...
(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a skunk
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
What do you get when you cross a cactus with a pea plant?
A plant that waters itself.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a motorcycle?
Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because it didn't have the guts!
Why did the dad cross the road?
To talk to the other dad.
(Happy Father’s Day everyone)
Yesterday, I crossed the road, changed a lightbulb, and walked into a bar.
A truck hit a bull that was crossing the road last night.
Why did the lumberjack tell his dog to cross the road?
So he could get bark.
My 11yo daughter claims she just made this joke up.
My cross-eyed wife and I got a divorce.
I found out she was seeing someone on the side
The cross-eyed teacher was sacked from his job.
He couldn't control his pupils.
Why did the punk rocker cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken.
Never thought cannibalism is so yummy(Another one of the ones that I want to cross post but r/puns bans cross posts)
What do you get when you cross a herding dog with a rose?
What do you get when you cross a camel with a truck?
What do you get when you cross a dog with a chicken?
A priest, A Baptist minister, and a rabbit go into a red cross to donate blood. The nurse asks "What is your blood type"?
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"
Why did the lion cross the road?
To get to the other pride
What do you call a book club stuck on the same book for years?
Why did the dad joke cross the road?
To get to the other sighs.
What do you get when you cross a dad joke with a case of dyslexia?
Why did the dad joke cross the road?
To get to the other sigh 😃
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the street?
Because he got stuck in a crack.
The cross eyed school teacher was fired.
She couldn’t control her pupils.
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