A list of puns related to "Kristy Name"
I searched and didn't see anything that broke down each chapter of the book in depth, so I hope this isn't repetitive of me.
My sister gifted me with Not All Diamonds RosΓ© for Christmas, and two things I love in life collided: reading and Real Housewives. Which led me to a third favorite thing: talking about reading and the Real Housewives. So besties, if youβre like me and want to talk about the book about Housewives, or youβre not like me and donβt like reading (or don't have time, no judgement here!), Iβve got you boo. I read Not All Diamonds and RosΓ© so you donβt have to, or so you can discuss each chapter in depth. Because my biggest love in life is assuming people want to hear what I want to talk about.
There's a lot of info, but I tried my best to keep out anything repetitive or something that is more considered common knowledge. Each chapter will get its own post because there's soooo much in some of them. I'm planning on going in order but spacing them out so as to not clog the daily feed. Also, I took notes on my phone while I read, so some names are shortened in bullet points after first mention, and if something is messed up in formatting or misspelled, I'm super sorry. Anything in quotes is straight from the book! I tried to leave my actual thoughts out of this.
Disclaimer for those who donβt know: Andy Cohen Books published this bad boy, so take that for what you will. Also, the copyediting in this book is HORRIBLE.
Link to NY. Link to Atlanta. Link to NJ. Link to DC. Link to BH. Link to Miami. Link to RHOP. [Link to Dallas.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BravoRealHousewives/comments/s42hmd/what_does_not_all_diamonds_ros%C3%
... keep reading on reddit β‘Definitive Murdaugh Mystery Timeline: 2015-2022. Final Update.
Original Timeline - https://www.reddit.com/r/MurdaughFamilyMurders/comments/qpmq0c/the_definitive_murdaugh_mystery_timeline/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
Notes: * Edit from original Timeline. # New entry. [] indicate my comments. Hampton Probate Court has no online records.
Indictments:
AM & CES 4 November 2021 - https://www.scag.gov/about-the-office/news/ag-alan-wilson-announces-hampton-county-grand-jury-has-indicted-alex-murdaugh-and-curtis-smith/
AM - 9 December 2021 - https://www.scag.gov/about-the-office/news/ag-wilson-announces-state-grand-jury-issues-a-new-round-of-indictments-against-alex-murdaugh/ SC Courts Search: https://www.sccourts.org/caseSearch/
People:
SS - Stephen Smith (aged 19, found dead on country road, friend of 'Buster' Murdaugh. Mother Sandy, twin sister Stephanie, father Joel Fred Smith who died few months later)
GS - Gloria Sattersfield (aged 57, Murdaugh house keeper, died after fall at 'Moselle', sons - Tony Satterfield and Brian Harriot)*
AM - Richard Alexander Murdaugh Sr (aged 52, middle son of RM III, ex-lawyer, PMPED)
MM - Margaret Murdaugh, AM spouse (Maggie, age 52, murdered at 'Moselle'. b. 15 September 1968, d. 7 June 2021)*
BM - Richard Alexander βBusterβ Murdaugh Jr (aged 26, eldest son of AM & MM).
PM - Paul Terry Murdaugh aka "Timmy" (youngest son of AM & MM, murdered age 22, at' Moselle'. b. 14 April 1999, d. 7 June 2021)
RM IV - Randolph Murdaugh
... keep reading on reddit β‘I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Unedited; questionable language
Welcome back, dicksucker whorebags! And for those dicksucker whorebags who are new, you need to prove your mettle on the pole before you can continue. Hope you've been working on those inner thighs!
We get a voiceover: "Outside this L.A. bachelor pad, 20 babes have gathered because they have two things in common: their love for rock n' roll, and for one man who has made it his life." That sounds familiar. Come on, VH1, write some new copy. Hasn't Bret been humiliated enough? But then...no!!! He apparently hasn't, as he appears on our screen wearing Amy Winehouse levels of eyeliner, a double-wide bandana with a print that looks like what you'd see if you looked at one of his pubes through a microscope and, it must be said, a wig made from Tracy Austin's ponytails. And one side is, like, two inches longer than the other. He also looks awfully...shiny. And puffy. I'm not saying he's had Botox. However, he might have borrowed Nicole Kidman's 2006 face at least for this premiere episode. He wants to find the one girl who can compete with his one true love -- that bitch goddess he calls, "Rock n' roll." VH1 offered to help him with his quest, but things didn't quite turned out as he planned, and he got dumped on national TV. Happily, VH1 asked Bret if he'd like to take another gander at finding his one true lady love. He hopes this time it will be bigger and better. Oh my God, I don't think I can take circus tits bigger than Erin's. I'm still seeing spots from those suckers.
So here, Bret tells us, is where he's at in his life right now. He's 40 years old, he's been engaged but never married, and he also spends nine months of the year on the road. Okay, first of all, I can't stop looking at his lopsided ponytail. Also, he's 44, and will be 45 in March. He's on the road so much that he apparently has never heard of "the internet," so he decided to shave a few years off. Or maybe trying to subtract 1963 from 2008 gave him a headache, so he decided to round down. The woman who is going to be with Bret and accept his lifestyle, he says, has to be very special.
If by "special" Bret means "kind of haggard and skanky with questionable fashion sense and an IQ just below 80 and a 30% chance of having formerly been a man, baby," then he is in luck! A blonde named Megan tells us that she is drawn to Bret like a nun to a convent. Okay, issues. Plus, her boobs are saggy. Peyton, who is maybe Rodeo 2.0 except a lot less funny and a whole
... keep reading on reddit β‘Do your worst!
Unedited; questionable language
Previously: Bret thought that falling in love would be awesome. Even after he saw the skanks and former men vying for said love. Courtney did what the rest of us would do and drank her ass off, passing out before she could make it to elimination. And then stripper Jackie rejected Bret! For her own anxiety issues, though, not because she finds it ridiculous to compete for the affection of a middle-aged wig-wearing Botox addict. This gave octogenarian Ambre a second chance to make Bret her lovre.
It is morning. And gah! Angelique sleeping looks like a scene right out of Where the Wild Things Are. Niki explains to us that four of the eliminated girls have gone home, while one is still in the house. Yes, it is drunk-ass Courtney. When she wakes, Peyton has to break the news to Courtney that her tour ends here. Once Courtney scrapes the fuzz off of her tongue, she calls herself a dumb [expletive]. I like to think that she channeled Tiffany on that one, but I guess we'll never know for sure. As she lugs her bags down the stairs, Peyton, in her three-packs-a-day Patty and Selma Bouvier voice, yells, "Stay off the sauce!" I kind of love her. Courtney tells us that she came to the show with a full intention of falling in love. She's a sweet girl and a caring girl, she says, but is also apparently a blackout-drunk girl. And if that's not what Bret's looking for, she says, maybe he's better off. Who ever thought that Bret would pass up a blackout-drunk girl? Credit where credit is due.
As the girls make themselves up, Sara confesses that her parents don't know she's there. And! She applied for the show as a dare. What could the "truth" question have been to make this seem like a more appealing option? You know it was like, "Have you ever killed a puppy?" For shame, Sara puppy-killer! Inna Tuna is pissed off and wants Bret to find out. Her strategy for this is to tell loudmouth Aubrey the truth about "whatshername, the Indian one." Manjula? Inna Tuna is certain that Aubrey will tell Bret. For her part, Sara doesn't seem to be trying to keep this a secret. She tells how it all went down:
Sara's friends: You're not gonna do it. Sara: Watch me do it! Sara's friends: You're not gonna do it. Sara: Watch me do it!
Scintillating. Aubrey, whose perma-bandana must be there to cover up her hormone therapy patches, can't wait to tell Bret. She notices Bret throwing a football around with Big John, and figures she can throw a ball, kinda.
... keep reading on reddit β‘I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
WESTON IS BEING CALLED OUT IN PUBLIC ABOUT SENDING OUT CLOSED-SESSION ATTORNEY-CLIENT PRIVILEGED INFORMATION TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC, INCLUDING PEOPLE WHO WENT TO OPPOSING COUNSEL. THAT'S OFFICIAL MISCONDUCT UNDER TGC 87.015, WHICH IS GROUNDS FOR JUDICIAL REMOVAL FROM HER POSITION.
FROM A SYSADMIN PERSPECTIVE: USERS LIE, LOGS DON'T
17 DEC 21 EDIT:
FOLLOWUP: PER TPC 39.06, WHAT SHE DID IS A THIRD-DEGREE FELONY. TGC 552.352 SAYS SHE COMMITTED A CLASS B MISDEMEANOR, WHICH IS SPECIFICALLY CALLED OFFICIAL MISCONDUCT.
Moms for Liberty sure is quiet today following Weston's admissions. I wonder who in that group got BCC'd.
Now I've got a Reddit thread. Ho ho ho.
Die Hard is probably the best Christmas movie, just because of Alan Rickman.
Season's Thievings to the lot of you!
Why do I call it that, you ask? It's simple - one particular trustee has a minion asking for checks to be made out to the trustees by name - as opposed to their campaigns - and in amounts smaller than what's required for reporting. Mind you, this minion specifically calls out the reason that they want the checks at or below $90 is so that they don't have to do paperwork or identify their donors.
Combine that with the requests that they've put out to have the checks made out to the trustees by name, and you have what appears to be a way to make a very convenient slush fund of cash that just disappears into someone's pockets with no accountability or tracing whatsoever.
Yes, I kept the receipts, and I've already sent them over to the Texas Election Ethics Commission and I'll be making them very public over the weekend (once I get some more DayQuil in me to help fight off whatever the hell it is I have).
AND NOW ON TO TONIGHT'S RULES!
As always, the livestream is available here, and the agenda is available here on BoardDocs.
Attention-seeking Behaviors:
Drink if Kristi or some similar uncredentialed amateur ΠΆΡΡΠ½Π°Π»ΠΈΡΡΠΊΠ° shows up
Drink if they try to do a press conference on (or near) school property
Drink (and laugh like a maniac) if they miss their chance to get seated in the main area because they're bloviating
Drink if the WilCo GOP has a hack on site to see if they can capture red meat for Y'all Qaeda / the Yeehawdists
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
I think if there was a year that was the busiest when it came to anime dubbing, it was certainly this year. As of December 27th 2021, we have had over 240 dubbed anime in this past year alone: including continuing dubs from 2020, Full season drops, as well as ongoing weekly dubs (or as best to weekly as the hard working Cast and Crew of each show can put out) credit to u/Toonami2020 for providing the data and spreadsheet.
Us anime fans were spoiled with so many great shows this year. And there were indeed some quality shows this year (as well as some bad ones). Many of us will have our own opinions of which shows should be crowned Anime of the Year/Season. But feel free to use this list as time of reflection on the shows that impacted you, made you appreciate the art that is anime, performances that made you laugh/cry, characters that have made a home in your heart, and so much more.
Obviously, like with every "Your Favorite ______" list, it's all completely subjective. So please be respectful of everyone's opinion.
----------
(Copied from last year's "Your Favorites of 2020" post)
Categories include the following, but are not limited to these. So feel free to add in any category you think I missed.
There is no set rules or guidelines to follow. And you can list as many or as little as you want. I have put certain limits on some of my lists, like a number limit, or One Character Per Show limit, but that doesn't mean you have to. This is your list so feel free to name whatever your favorites are.
*Disclaimer: I'm Counting each show as when they aired, rather when the dub was released, unless show aired before 2021. (For Instance: Otherside Picnic aired on Jan. 4th 2021 will be counted as a Win
... keep reading on reddit β‘Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
"Who the hell was that, and what did she mean about seeing you later?"
"That's just my mistress, Laura."
"You have a mistress, and she has the nerve to walk up to us in public? This is unforgivable. I want a divorce."
"Honey, she means nothing to me. Just a bit of harmless fun. I love you and I want us to live a long life together."
"Not after the way you humiliated me tonight."
"Look, I'll make sure that she doesn't do anything like that again."
"You mean you're going to see her again?"
"Of course."
"Divorce."
"You need to think this through. We have a prenup. If we divorce, you'll be comfortable, but at a very different level. No more taking the jet to Paris for shopping. No more beach house, no more cruises on the yacht. Even dinners like this won't be common."
She is quiet for a while, then she says, "Isn't that Ted from the club? Who's he with? It isn't Stella."
"That's Ted's mistress. I think her name is Kristy or Krissy or something like that."
"Hmm. Ours is prettier."
The other night someone asked me to come up with a list of the biggest super villains in gymnastics (other than Him) and my immediate response was, "well the first names on the list need to be DΓΆrte ThΓΌmmler parents and coaches."
DΓΆrte ThΓΌmmler was the 1987 Uneven Bars World Champion and an Olympic bronze medalist from 1988. Her story has to be one of the most gut wrenching stories in gymnastics history. She never wanted to be a gymnast, begged to quit basically from the start, but it wasn't her choice. Her mother was a coach for the East German gymnastics association and her step-father, Manfred ThΓΌmmler, a sports medicine doctor for SC Dynamo Berlin.
In 1999 her stepfather would be one of the many doctors charged in the trials of doctors who ran the East German state doping apparatus that worked not only at the highest levels of all sport in the country but down to the recreational/club level where amateur athletes were given performance enhancing drugs simply to test how they responded. But it wasn't just that the halls and dorms of SC Dynamo were a place a young woman couldn't escape having her body experimented on without consent but she was also subject to horrific physical abuse:
ThΓΌmmler recalls a story about a training camp where she was exhausted on the balance beam and couldn't go on. βThe worst part was that he knocked both feet off the beam and that's why I got totally rotated. I slammed the beam, it wanted to hurt me. I was always afraid of this coach. " DΓΆrte ThΓΌmmler is now permanently disabled, the toll of her injuries and the forced doping having destroyed her health at an early age.
In the rest of this post I'm going to celebrate the gymnastics of ThΓΌmmler and her fellow East German gymnasts but I think it's important not to hide the monstrosity that they lived through.
The doping was a wholistic part of a systematic drive to push innovation in the sport. And while you can't ignore that it happened it's also worth saying that it was certainly not unique to East Germany. What was unique to East Germany is that because the country no longer exists there was no national impulse to hide the records or power apparatus behind maintaining its secrets. Gymnastics is also a sport where the impact of doping is much harder to see then say swimming or track and field. It was primari
... keep reading on reddit β‘The first batch of reviews for Spider-Man: No Way Home are, quite literally, universally positive, standing at 100% even after more than 50 reviews. Few films start at 100%, and even fewer are still at 100% after 50 reviews. The RT Average Rating is pretty high too, standing at 8.00/10 so far, while the Metacritic is a good 73. Expect the RT score to drop at some point, just because of the law of averages, but it should stay in the 90s.
Edit: It finally got a Rotten review, took 50 something reviews to get one.
Strong critical reception combined with record breaking hype is a potent combination for box office prospects, seen in past films like Star Wars: The Force Awakens and Avengers: Endgame. In both of those cases, the film was one of the most highly anticipated ever, then overwhelmingly positive reviews confirmed that it delivers on the hype and fan expectations. Even the less enthusiastic reviews praised those two films for their entertainment value and being a fun movie, which is also the case for Spider-Man: No Way Home's reviews. Both ended up setting the domestic opening weekend record, before becoming the 1st and 2nd highest grossing domestic films ever. (On the other hand, the flip side would be something like Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, a highly anticipated film that imploded after critics, then audiences both panned the film).
The RT score for Spider-Man: No Way Home should end up somehwere around Star Wars: The Force Awakens (93%) and Avengers: Endgame (94%). The RT Average Rating (8.00/10, vs 8.30/10 and 8.20/10) could end up a tad lower, but not by a lot. Metacritic is the only metric that's a bit lower (73, vs 80 and 78), but hardly anything that could hurt the film in a meaningful way.
Early presales for Spider-Man: No Way Home set records/placed 2nd after Avengers: Endgame, and the film looks set for a possible $200M+ opening. If audiences embrace it as much as critics have, and it has similar audience reception as Star Wars: The Force Awakens (A Cinemascore) and Avengers: Endgame (A+ Cinemascore), the sky could be the limit. Of course, reaching the same box office heights ($936,662,225 and $858,373,000) are unrealistic (at least at this point), but something in the $600M+ range could be conceivable. That would place it in the Top 10 All Time domestically, a remarkable achievement in a pandemic.
Competition is relatively light this December. Sing 2 could do well, but there seems to be a ceiling for animated films in this mar
... keep reading on reddit β‘but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
BamBOO!
Theyβre on standbi
Pilot on me!!
A play on words.
Itβs time to return to the series Paul made famous by taking a body-condom dip into tropical poo water populated with penis-fish! Since the first two episodes serve to introduce each storylineβs central cast and chorus of doubters, theyβve been compressed into one super recap.
First up is 28 year-old Caleb from Chandler, AZ, who likes to travel the world taking selfies with protein powder while expanding his beanie collection. Tv is not something he really believes in, but it was the only opportunity for him to illustrate the perils of a brown zip-up sweater that makes you look like a Snickers bar in a person costume.
βIβve agreed to go on a man-bun run with my shirt off, before crafting my own inkblot and meditating on myself.β Caleb, youβre doing great.
βI feel like Iβm not good enough for you,β Darcey dry-cries.
βI would like to use my platform to raise awareness about a little known condition: Tarot blindness,β Caleb is ready. βThis condition turns every card into a prolonged negotiation, until itβs coaxed towards a more palatable meaning. For example, this card features an elderly gentleman with a lantern, who is walking towards a self-illuminated path, alone. It reads, The Hermit. So I dunno, this could be about giraffes, interstate unicycle travel, watering recommendations for a ficusβ¦Iβm going to need a second tiny booklet.β
Three years ago Caleb added Russia to his vision board, and got busy exploring ass-getting abroad. On a matchmaking site he came across a familiar face in Alina #2, who has nothing in common with Alina #1 except a country and an unsolicited dick pic from Steven. Turns out they started chatting when they were 15, and Tom was one of their top five on myspace.
βHereβs a message from back then where the sparks were really flying,β Caleb holds our hand down memory lane. βShe asks what Iβm doing, and I respond βHomework, LOLβ. Abbreviations were kind of our thing. Itβs fate.β
βNo fate but what you make,β Linda Hamilton is hear to carve wisdom into your picnic table.
Alina lives in St. Petersburg, and when 90DF catches up with her sheβs fashioning a Game of Thrones crown to let everyone know winter is coming. Sheβs a little person, and her particular dwarfism makes it challenging for her to walk and hold things, but sheβs made that wheelchair the steel horse she rides.
βHereβs a photo of me skydiving like itβs relaxing,β she shares.
βThat sounds expensive,β everyone at home Ben and Jerryβs.
Alinaβs an entertainer
... keep reading on reddit β‘Unedited; questionable language
Previously: Bret connected with Amber, because he has a heretofore-unknown octogenarian fetish. An old-skool dance contest resulted in VIP passes for Roxy, Destiney, and Daisy. The "I" stands for "infected." And Sara got the boot, which is good because she's really too pretty and disease-free to succeed in this competition.
It is morning, and a lot of makeup is being applied. Truly, this show keeps Wet N' Wild in business. Roxy tells us that she's feeling a little nervous because she doesn't know what Bret's looking for. Sadly for Roxy, I don't think Bret really wants to keep his cocoa handy. But good for her for having hope and thinking that it's personality that he's looking for. If "personality" is a euphemism for "big, chocolate-mousse-covered knockers," I think she's onto something. Roxy notes that she does have a VIP pass, which means she can steal Bret away for one-on-one time at any point. She intends to use it.
Big John delivers some Bret Mail. Megan reads it. Hey! How delightful that she's literate. It says, "Good morning my sexy sirens / I know you're all sweet and classy / But I need a girl that's tough and sassy / One who's willing to push and shove / Roll with the punches and protect our love. Love, Bret." Megan hopes that the competition doesn't have anything to do with athleticness. She doesn't have any of that. If, however, it is somehow related to boobfulness and chesticular ability, she might have a shot.
The girls head into a big warehouse, where they find a roller derby rink. Oh, shit. Some fake parts are going to be flying. Bret tells us that if there's one thing he's good at in life, it's being a father. And I mean, this must be true, as he wrote this song about his daughter. Okay, I really didn't link that as proof of Bret's parental skills. I just wanted to remind you all about THE WIG. But I guess any man dedicated enough to wear a cheap wig and Cleopatra eyeliner in the name of funding his daughter's college education is a pretty selfless parent. Bret is looking for a girl who has a mother-bear instinct. But not, like, the kind that will lead an animal occasionally eat her own young like my hamster Spike did when I was eight, thus traumatizing me for life. Poor Spike. She accidentally took a tumble down the stairs in her little hamster exercise ball and I think it induced premature labor, so I can't judge. And plus, we all thought she was a male, so it was pretty surprising when 14 babies popp
... keep reading on reddit β‘Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.