SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/anywhereiroa
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Leckzsluthor
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/frexyincdude
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies ๐Ÿ˜‚

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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What is a a bisexual person doing when theyโ€™re not dating anybody?

Theyโ€™re on standbi

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Toby-the-Cactus
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Geddit? No? Only me?
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/shampy311
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
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I wanna hear your best airplane puns.

Pilot on me!!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Paulie_Felice
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E or รŸ?
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What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rj104
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Pun intended.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sharmaji1301
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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No spoilers
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Onfour
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Covid problems
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/theincrediblebou
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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These aren't dad jokes...

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Lance986
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 15 2021
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I had a vasectomy because I didnโ€™t want any kids.

When I got home, they were still there.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/demotrek
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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What did 0 say to 8 ?

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/designjeevan
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Spi__
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Fast_Echidna_8520
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I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.

I won't be doing that today!

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The Ancient Romans II
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mordrathe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 29 2021
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I'd like to dedicate this joke to my wisdom teeth.

[Removed]

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ThoughtPumP
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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I did it, I finally did it. After 4 years and 92 days I went from being a father, to a dad.

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sk2ec
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
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How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in your frying pan?

You take away their little brooms

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Majorpain2006
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 09 2022
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It this sub dead?

There hasn't been a post all year!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheTreelo
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School Was Clothed
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Naan-negotiable
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sjmaeff
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Remember that joke I told you about the chiropractor?

It was about a weak back.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tanglwyst
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Where do you find a cow with no legs?

Where ever you left it ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคญ

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kitkatty0309
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Letting loose with these puns
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Couch potato
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Baka!
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ridi86
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All dad jokes are bad and hereโ€™s why

Why

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concrete ๐Ÿ—ฟ
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My name is ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

Itโ€™s pronounced โ€œNoel.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/beef_fried_rice
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Why are people so surprised and angry about Djokovic being an anti-vaxxer?

After all his first name is No-vac

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hangryman23
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If Korean pop is shortened to Kpop and Korean Drama is Kdrama...

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

  • Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

  • French/Finnish art

  • Country/Canadian rap

  • Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

  • Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hootanahalf
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Thatโ€™s Michelle
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FLEXSEALBREAKER
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 10 2022
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Is this sub still active?

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

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What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved

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is Isn't
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My 9 year old son just asked me to pretend I was a police officer arresting him for downloading the entire Wikipedia. Me: Young man, you're under arrest for downloading the entire Wikipedia!

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MrPJ2020
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@u/mordrathe - remix
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SpydrRydr
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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a hot tub?

Bob

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/4fuchssake
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 05 2022
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I named my dog "5 miles."

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! ๐Ÿ˜€ Thank you for the awards.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/javacafe
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My WIFI password is 2444666668888888

Just to clarify, 12345678

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/az1m_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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Possibly the greatest Snap Reaction dad joke I've ever told (it even got me a POWERFUL groan and vehement FU from my wife)

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AKhakiNerfHerder
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 10 2022
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I can't believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician...

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ENJOYblet
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 05 2022
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Karl Marx is a historically famous figureโ€ฆ

But nobody ever mentions his sister, Onya, who invented the starter pistol.

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The two genders
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ShrimpRex
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Guns
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PlayYo-KaiWatch21
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If โ€œwombโ€ is pronounced โ€œwoomโ€ and โ€œtombโ€ is pronounced โ€œtoomโ€ then shouldnโ€™t โ€œbombโ€ be pronouncedโ€ฆ

โ€œBOOMโ€?!

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