Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?

Because it's only the first date

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chandan_2294
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Its ok to kiss a nun....

....but don't get into the habit.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?

On the apocalypse.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dysmmfz1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Take it easy people. Pretty soon you'll be able to kiss and have sex with the one you love.

But for now, stay at home and do it with the one you're married to.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't kiss after midnight, folks

It's not proper to kiss on a first date

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
You may think it's funny to kiss someone while you have a runny nose

But it's snot.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PaleoGamer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A boy leaned over to steal a kiss from his girl, but she was leaning over to steal a kiss at the same time.

They both made out like bandits.

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and I smashed toes trying to kiss each other

I replied in agony nice toe meet you.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/djv1018
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked if he could give me a kiss...

"Disgusting! I'm old enough to be your father!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JDDDouble
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?

Cherpies, but don't worry.

It's tweetable.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/krnnff
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The cleanest way to greet a member of the band Kiss

Is to say β€œHygiene!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DutchBlob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotter66
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s it like to kiss a vampire?

A real pain in the neck!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mole555
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?

I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!

πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who likes to kiss dead people's necks?

A necromancer.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spiderpool123
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
How do flowers kiss?

With their tulips

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dsgorman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Hitler got a kiss
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Darkborders
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
"Kiss me and I'll turn int a beautiful princess," said the frog to my friend. He kissed it...

And croaked because it was a poison arrow frog.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....

I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bellysbuster
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Perfect kiss
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/apoorvaShrini
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did Paco's girlfriend not want to kiss him?

She was afraid of the a-Paco-lips.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_the_Duck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss?

Ouch

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimbob8745
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the diode kiss the capacitor?

He couldn't resistor.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Boobeepbop
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2017
🚨︎ report
Can’t we just kiss and make-up?
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MarvelMemeMonster
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2018
🚨︎ report
If a girl has to kiss a lot of frogs before she finds her Prince Charming

Does that mean she has to let a lot of toads in the hole first?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTallhouse
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
🚨︎ report
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...

because she wasn't my wife until we were married.

One of my dad's favorites.

πŸ‘︎ 364
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/80_Percent_Beard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2016
🚨︎ report
Listening to Kiss from a Rose by Seal

Wife: This is a really strange song. I mean do roses even have lips?

Me: No but I know what plant does.

Wife: ?

Me: Tulips.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DPAtheCPA
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife told me, "When you kiss my neck, it feels magical."

I guess you could say I'm a neckromancer.

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Grizzly_Bits
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2015
🚨︎ report
French kiss
πŸ‘︎ 347
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/m0rph3r
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
🚨︎ report
The band Kiss decided to release their own pants clothing line.

It's called Jean Simmons.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2017
🚨︎ report
Don't kiss after midnight

It's not proper to kiss on a first date!

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
You shouldn't kiss anyone on January 1st because it's only the first date.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/citiesofsilver
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2014
🚨︎ report
Remember not to kiss after midnight, folks.

It's not proper to kiss on a first date.

πŸ‘︎ 458
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
🚨︎ report
If your nose is kind of runny and you go to kiss your honey, you may think that it is funny

But it's snot

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ValkornDoA
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Don't kiss anyone today, it's only the first date.
πŸ‘︎ 547
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElkoSteve
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2016
🚨︎ report
Don't kiss after midnight, folks

It's not proper to kiss on a first date

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
You shouldn’t kiss anyone on January 1st

It’s only the first date

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Don't kiss anyone today

It's only the first date!

πŸ‘︎ 244
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElkoSteve
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
🚨︎ report
You shouldn't kiss anyone on January 1st

It's only the first date

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/silverbmo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
🚨︎ report
How do flowers kiss?

With their tulips

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chockzilla
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2016
🚨︎ report
Do you kiss on the first date?

What about the first raisin?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/topderp1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Why didn't I have a New Years kiss?

I don't kiss on the first date.

πŸ‘︎ 330
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RorariiRS
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2015
🚨︎ report
When you kiss your honey, and your nose is kind of runny, you may think it's funny, but it's not.

Snot

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Me: You shouldn’t kiss someone on January 1st

Daughter: Why not?

Me: Because it’s the first date

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lobsman12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.