Kirkland College Puns

My first mock draft of the season - with trades. Two rounds, with blurbs for each pick in the first.

Draft order from Tankathon.

JAX (1.01) - Kayvon Thibodeaux, EDGE, Oregon

The Jags go for the most talented edge in the class, with interest on Hutchinson cooling slightly after being largely shut down in the Orange Bowl against Georgia. Kayvon has an insane ceiling due to his physical tools, and Jacksonville will be salivating at Kayvon and Josh Allen coming off the edges and terrorising quarterbacks for years to come

DET (1.02) - Aiden Hutchinson, EDGE, Michigan

Hutchinson has had an incredibly dominant season in his senior year, and the Lions just go best player available, after deciding to give Jarrod Goff another year as starting quarterback. The senior has dominated most of the defences he's played this year, and will be a asset and cornerstonein the Lions defence.

HOU (1.03) - Evan Neal

Houston decide to give Davis Mills another year starting after showing some promise down the stretch, and shore up protection around him by drafting Neal, and absolute monster who can play anywhere on the line. Neal will be a day 1 starter who will shore up a weak Houston o-line.

NYJ (1.04) - Derek Stingley Jr, CB, LSU

The Jets find themselves in a tough spot. The lack of promising QB's means it's hard to find a suitor to trade down, which would be the ideal option at this spot. The Jets end up picking Stingley a lot earlier than they would have liked. Ikem Okwonu provides an intriguing option, but the Jets opt to continue with the promising George Fant and talented Mekhi Becton at the tackles. Stingley has all the physical tools, but has been inconsistent after a standout freshman year, and will likely improve his stock after a stand-out combine. The Jets hope he can be a worthy investment and become a star outside cornerback.

NYG (1.05) - Ikem Okwonu, OT, NC State

In Andrew Thomas, the Giants have a nice, long term piece in the trenches. That, however, is where the positives end for New York's offensive line. The whole rest of the line has major question marks, and none of them really have deserved their spot. The Giants take the dynamic Okwonu to play opposite Thomas at Tackle, providing a solid pair to protect Jones for likely his last shot at taking the starting job.

CAR (1.06) - Charles Cross, OT, Mississippi State

Carolina also opt to improve their dreadful offensive line, with the strong tackle out of Mississippi State. With one of the

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

After reading everyone's comments, I'm not certain anything major had to be changed, so I went ahead and added another round. Updated standings after yesterday's KC win.

ROUND 1

1. Detroit: Aidan Hutchinson, EDGE, Michigan; Detroit picks a homegrown talent with the proven production to continue its years-long rebuild. Hutchinson has the size, power and speed to succeed at the NFL level.
2. Jacksonville: Evan Neal, OT, Alabama; Jacksonville needs to keep Trevor Lawrence upright, and Neal is a 6'7, 360lb specimen who can do just that. With Cam Robinson scheduled to leave in FA, Neal is a mighty tantalizing prospect with the potential upside of a massive upgrade long-term.
3. Houston: Kayvon Thibodeaux, EDGE, Oregon; There's one thing Houston has prioritized early and often, it's the front seven. Eight of Houston's eighteen first round picks have been along the defensive trenches, with names like JJ Watt, Whitney Mercilus and Amobi Okoye. Thibodeaux is a generational prospect who can become a franchise player in Houston.
4. New York J: Derek Stingley Jr., CB, LSU; A lights-out cornerback prospect who can hang with the very best of them. Head coach Robert Saleh must be giddy at the chance to draft a talent with the potential to become the next Darrelle Revis.
5. New York G: Ikem Ekwonu, OT, North Carolina State; The Giants now have the league's worst offensive line after LAC has largely fixed its own issues by drafting Rashawn Slater and signing Corey Linsley. Ekwonu is a rock solid prospect who can help keep Daniel Jones upright.
6. New York G: George Karlaftis, EDGE, Purdue; The Giants also need a pass-rushing force opposite rookie Azeez Ojulari, and Karlaftis is the third of the big 4 pass rushers in the top 10 who can terrorize opposing quarterbacks.
7. New York J: David Ojabo, EDGE Michigan; Ojabo is a high-upside prospect who can help the other New York team complete a defensive line that's been excellent at penetrating opposing inside offensive lines, but not so much along the edges.
8. Carolina: Matt Corral, QB, Ole Miss; I'm not sure QB is the right move for Carolina here personally, but it's definitely something an impatient Matt Rhule would do. In 2 years he's gotten rid of Cam Newton, got his replacement, got rid of said replacement, got another replacement, benched that replacement and brought back Newton. Corral is a prospect with a proven arm in CFB's toughest conference.
9. Atlanta: Kyle Hamilton, S, Notre Dame; Atlanta is one to go BPA h

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

Using tankathon for draft order. Lots of weird eligibility designations in this class.

1 Lions: Kayvon Thibodeaux OLB JR Oregon

I'm not going to be a contrarian here. I wouldn't be surprised if Dan Campbell and his staff are all fired after that debacle against the Bears - like Steve Wilks in Arizona - but I'm going to pick as if they'll be retained another season. The lack of an edge rush has been apparent all season and Thibodeaux (6'5 258) would be a plug and play impact starter. Thibodeaux has a lot of similarities to Myles Garrett coming out of Texas A&M, though he's not quite as heavy.

2 Texans: Aidan Hutchinson DE SR Michigan

Lovie Smith has the Texans defense playing surprisingly well this season. Jon Greenard has developed into a solid starting end on one side, but they have a glaring hole at their other defensive end. Hutchinson (6'6 265) would make for a great pair of book-ends, he might remind McNair/Easterby of Watt, and though he doesn't play with the same power he has a similar motor and length.

3 Jaguars: Jordan Davis DT SR Georgia

Jordan Davis (6'6 340) would be a great fit for the Jaguars 3-4 under Joe Cullen. Davis is less polished than former top 5 pick Derrick Brown, but he is more of a freak athlete. A lot of detractors cite PFF grades and pass rush ability, but NFL coaches will see the athlete and believe they can coach up his game. I think Davis has a lot of room to grow, and his background as a basketball player who started playing football relatively late in his high school support that. He plays with fantastic effort and hustle which further supports his developmental upside.

4 Jets: Derek Stingley Jr CB JR LSU

Kyle Hamilton may be more of the freak athlete, but cornerback is a more premium position, and Stingley Jr. (6'1 195) has been playing at an extremely high level since his freshman year at LSU. It's hard to argue against his value as he should be a high level starter from the get go.

5 Evan Neal T JR Alabama

Hopefully, the Jets have found their RG going forward in Laurent Duvernay-Tardif. That said, Morgan Moses is only on a 1 year contract and Mekhi Becton has had issues staying healthy. Neal (6'7 357) has been overrated a little bit in my opinion. He's had some struggles with speed and maintaining leverage against shorter rushers. He's a better fit at right tackle than left, but that would be his fit here. The best thing the Jets can do to help Zach Wilson is get the run game going, and Neal is a

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

1. Detroit Lions - EDGE Aidan Hutchinson, Michigan – Detroit is a team with many needs. In a battle between Hutchinson and Thibodeaux as the best player in the draft, the Lions go with the hometown kid.

2. Jacksonville Jaguars - OT Evan Neal, Alabama – While the stories of Trevor Lawrence running for his life every game are over blown, giving the new franchise QB a clean pocket to throw should be the Jaguars top priority.

3. Houston Texans - EDGE Kayvon Thibodeaux, Oregon – A pass rusher isn’t their biggest need but the Texans can’t say no to the highly talented Thibodeaux.

4. New York Jets - EDGE George Karlaftis, Purdue – The Jets defense needs help at all levels. Karlaftis might be the third best at his position in the draft, but he’s still a top talent who will help the Jets get to the QB.

5. New York Giants - IOL Tyler Linderbaum, Iowa – The Giants don’t know if Daniel Jones is the answer because he’s rarely had a chance to throw in a clean pocket to show what he can do. Linderbaum is one step in the process of improving the O-Line.

Trade #1 New York (Giants) trades #6 to New Orleans for #13, #44, a 2023 2nd Round pick, and a 2023 4th Round pick.

6. New Orleans Saints - QB Matt Corral, Ole Miss – The Saints make the jump to nab the future face of the franchise for the next decade plus. Corral has improved year over year, and looks to be the top QB in this class.

7. New York Jets – S Kyle Hamilton, Notre Dame – I wasn’t kidding when I said the Jets defense needs help at all levels. Hamilton is a freakish athlete that will offer the Jets a lot of versatility in their coverage.

8. Carolina Panthers – OT Charles Cross, Mississippi State – The Panthers might have considered QB if Corral was still available. With him gone, they look to improve their O-Line in order to help protect whoever ends up taking the snaps for them.

9. Atlanta Falcons – CB Derek Stingley Jr., LSU – Stingley would have been a Top 3pick if it wasn’t for the fact that he missed most of this season after having surgery on his left foot. A healthy Stingley paired with Terrell would give the Falcons one of the best CB duos in the NFL.

10. Philadelphia Eagles – CB Andrew Booth Jr., Clemson – The Eagles are another team that needs to address every level of their defense. Booth should give them a solid CB2 to start the season, and will be someone to eventually take over for Slay at CB1.

11. Philadelphia Eagles – WR Garrett Wilson, Ohio State – Hurts has shown pro

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "