Khoo Kongsi Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

1. Tunku Abdul Rahman mengumumkan rancangan Malaysia di Singapura pada 27 Mei 1961, di masa yang sama British sedang merancang menubuhkan persekutan Borneo. Pengumuman rancangan Malaysia ini mengalihkan pandangan penduduk wilayah Broneo daripada rancangan Persekutuan Borneo kepada rancangan Malaysia. Tidak ada penentangan daripada pemimpin-pemimpin Borneo ketika itu.

2. Tetapi situasi ini berubah selepas Tunku membuat lawatan ke Brunei dan di beberapa tempat di Sarawak pada bulan Julai 1961. Kenyataan A.M. Azahari bahawa Tunku akan menjadikan Brunei, Sarawak dan North Borneo sebagai negeri ke 12, 13 dan 14 dalam persekutuan Malaya menimbulkan kemarahan pemimpin-pemimpin di wilayah Borneo. United Front (Barisan Bersatu) ditubuhkan. United Front dianggotai oleh Donald Stephens bersama-sama pemimpin dari Sarawak, Ong Kee Hui dan A.M. Azahari dari Brunei.

3. Pada 21 Julai 1961, Donald Stephens bagaimanapun telah mengubah pendiriannya selepas bertemu dengan Lee Kuan Yew ketika menghadiri Persidangan Persatuan Parlimen Komanwel (Commonwealth Parlimentary Association) di Singapura. Sebagai persediaan kemungkinan Malaysia dibentuk dan pilihanraya kemungkinan akan dijalankan, Donald Stephens menubuhkan parti United National Kadazan Organisation (UNKO) pada bulan Ogos 1961. Sebahagian besar masyarakat Kadazan, Dusun dan Murut telah menyertai UNKO termasuk G.S. Sundang. G.S. Sundang kemudiannya dilantik sebagai Naib Presiden parti.

4. Tidak lama kemudian, G.S. Sundang keluar dari UNKO dan meletakkan jawatannya sebagai Naib Presiden UNKO, kerana sependapat dengan abangnya OKK Sodomon mengenai keputusan konvensyen UNKO, dan mulai mempersoalkan tindakan Donald Stephens menyokong rancangan Malaysia. Kedua-dua adik-beradik Gunsanad ini telah menubuhkan United National Pasok Momogun Party atau UNPMP pada bulan Januari 1962 di Keningau atas ilham OKK Sodomon ketika mesyuarat Ketua-ketua kaum asli pada 8 September.

5. Pendirian parti UNPMP untuk menentang Malaysia disuarakan ketika mesyuarat pertama UNPMP di Keningau pada bulan Januari 1962. Mesyuarat ini dihadiri oleh lebih kurang 4500 orang (70 peratus daripadanya adalah kaum Murut). UNPMP kemudian ditukar nama kepada United Pasok Momogun Party – UPMP pada bulan Mac 1962. OKK Sedomon dan Sundang bersama-sama Lai En Kong telah mengadakan mesyuarat dan membuka cawangan parti UPMP di Menggatal dan Telipok, serta beberapa buah kampung berdekatan Jesselton dan Ranau.

6. Pada 1 Ogos 1962, kerajaan British dan kerajaan Malay

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

BamBOO!

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved